The Last Chieftain

Player Rating5.88/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 29 ratings since 09/22/2018
played 495 times (finished 31)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length8/8

"Even light has to break at the rest stop"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

The land of Orcin, a place where all are free to live as they wish as long as they follow the laws of the council.  Years of relative peace had ensued, making sure the orcs would live as strong and as free as they had always been.

The Mannate Empire, destined to consume everything on the horizon, sets its sights on the homeland of the orcs.  Annexing one kingdom, one empire after the next, finally looks to orcin for resources, troops, and land to settle, as they prepare their dreaded march.

Nolazir, a simple orc, who lives off the land as he works his farm, unknowingly would be drawn into events to come.  He would come to shape the world around him, and the future of Orcin.  

Fight for honor, love, peace, and prosperity.  Lead with a cruel fist, or a warm heart.  Challenges and tribulations lay ahead for all. 

Will you save your homeland and return it from the brink?  Will you let the darkness within and without consume you?  What becomes of you and the world, is up to you.

The next edition will come out in a few months, filled with more varied events between time jumps including, politics, monsters, and more!  Also will be adding the rest of the real story and the side branches in as well.

Special Thanks

Where to begin exactly?  I'll start off with thanking Mizal, who helped me with some proof reading and structure at the start, and helping me figure out how to use variables.  Also for always being willing to help with my writing, grammar, and developing characters all these years, and generally being a wonderful presence on this site :)

I would like to thank MoreCowbell for consistently proofreading and giving me feedback on my story throughout this long process.  I appreciate all of your spell checking, helping keep the flow and pace, and general positivity and motivation during this whole project. 

I would like to thank 3iguy for taking an interest in my story and beta reading it for me.  As well as Ebon for his detailed and insightful responses to some of my threads early on.

I'd also like to thank Ogre, IAP for encouraging me and keeping me motivated during the hardest parts of the process (mostly the end point).

Also would like to thank EndMaster for letting me rip off his organization scheme for storygames.

I really couldn't have done this without you guys, and I owe a great part of finally finishing this to all of you and to CYS as a general whole.

I hope you all enjoy!

Player Comments

I enjoyed this story.

It isn't everyday that an author chooses to have an orc as a protagonist and I really appreciated that about this story. However, I feel like there wasn't much difference between the orcs and the elves besides the styles of their names. They spoke with the exact same speech patterns and were equally informal in how they spoke most of the time as well. I just never got a real sense of unique cultures from this story save for a few mentions here and there of the orcs' god and the First Born. During some of the calmer moments it would have been nice to see some deeper world building, descriptions of cultural things unique to the orcs in this story or some of their culural values coming out in more conversations for example. Perhaps even some sort of festival or religious ritual would have been nice to better flesh out their culture and beliefs.

I would have also liked to have seen more detailed physical descriptions in this story. More descriptive paragraphs about what is going on around the protagonist in certain scenes, longer, more detailed descriptions of other character's appearances, their expressions, etc. All that ever seemed to be described was very basic features of their appearances or I would get a small taste of the scenery that would end before painting the full picture for me.

You did a good job of writing about the war in general. The optional choices in tactics was a really nice touch, your description of how both sides evolve over time to continuously improve their weapons, armor, and tactics was realistic. The actions scenes are very good and have the best descriptions in the story, I really appreciated the attention to detail in them. The further I got into the story, the more attached I was to the protagonist and other characters. Seeing them over the course of years in the story was nice, I really enjoyed seeing them grow as characters.

There were stretches of the story where it was linear with no choices, though I understand that you plan to continue to add to the story over time so I'll assume that this won't be the case forever. The choices that were in the story felt like they carried weight, which is always a good thing.

Altogether I give it a 6/8, but I will most likely raise that to a 7/8 when there is more added to the story in the future.
-- simplesabley on 9/23/2018 9:39:49 AM with a score of 0
A long story with pretty limited options. It's well written, and has enough action and plot to keep you hooked.
-- DerPrussen on 2/5/2019 1:35:20 AM with a score of 0
Really great story. Decisions don't have as many consequences but that is fine.
-- Yandeleon on 1/15/2019 2:39:07 PM with a score of 0
This is something. Ended up with "Dawn of Peace" ending.
-- WritingStories on 10/18/2018 7:43:58 AM with a score of 0
This is a really fun game, I like how it takes a different look than the standard war loving orc, the peace loving elf, and the standard human. It might not have a lot of detail as far as choice branching but overall, a great game.
-- hugo23 on 9/26/2018 4:14:27 AM with a score of 0
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