The Mountain Pass

a Modern Adventure by Ogre11

Commended by JJJ-thebanisher on 1/29/2017 9:19:22 PM

Player Rating5.20/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 59 ratings since 01/29/2017
played 567 times (finished 52)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length5/8

"Not going to lose any sleep"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.
You wake up after a car crash and find yourself lost in the snow. Can you survive and get out alive?

For those interested in such things, there are eight bad endings and three good endings. Sorry about that, but there are lots of ways to die in the wilderness you know.

Created for January, 2017 New Frontier Contest

Player Comments

I really appreciated that this was really non-linear and that the author took the time to give the reader the ability to make meaningful choices. The writing was good and the descriptions were well done. I really liked the diversity of the endings.

My major complaint was that the plot wasn't really interesting to me. While I had the ability to have a meaningful impact on the outcome of the story, I rarely felt drawn in by the circumstance enough to fully appreciate my choices. I don't think my apathy was a result of the writing so much as the concept; this story felt like the author didn't have an excellent idea of what they wanted to write, and simply produced a formulaic game to satisfy the contest deadline. This is a shame because the author can clearly write.

I have three minor complaints. Firstly, there was at least one (and maybe two) technical errors in the scripting. There was a page where there were three identical wander aimlessly links, and I was unable to light the gas stove with my lighter in the cabin. Secondly, I didn't like the decision to break the fourth wall ("you didn't think it would be that easy, would you?" .... the dice roll) but I know that it was deliberate so this mostly comes down to personal preference. Finally, I thought that the same description of snow and cold became a bit monotonous by the time I'd explored the story fully.

Most of this review has focused on the negatives, but all in all, this was certainly a polished, complete, and above-average storygame. I appreciate all of the hard work and the site is better for having it.
-- JJJ-thebanisher on 1/29/2017 7:49:53 PM with a score of 0
LOL! Bad ending #3 is just... very educational! =D
"These hikers found the remains of a person and from what the Sheriff's department has been able to piece together, the person may have stumbled into the cave of a hibernating bear in the winter some years ago. While most people assume that hibernating bears are safe, the Ranger's office informs this news station that when hibernating bears are disturbed, they can be very angry, confused, and dangerous. It appears that the person may have tried to enter the cave, the bear woke up, and quickly killed the person. Rangers explain it may have eaten some of the person, then gone back to sleep, only to have a ready-made feast waiting for it in the Spring."
-- TestingJest on 1/7/2018 1:31:49 AM with a score of 0
Well written and fun!
-- daniel123 on 11/7/2017 11:33:27 AM with a score of 0
It's written well, but I couldn't see the point of the cabin, the forest, or the lighter.... I died about 5 times before I finaly got a good ending XD
-- Chickdove on 4/5/2017 9:16:44 PM with a score of 0
You describe snow well.
-- FazzTheMan on 3/7/2017 9:04:43 PM with a score of 0
It's pretty, um...

I did not get really immersed in this story. That being said, this is a storyGAME, and that's how they work.

I liked the number of choices, I liked how you chose to break the fourth wall, but the thing that kept me from leaving a higher rating was the fact that this is more game than story affected my experience more than it should. Coulda added a little background to my "unknown man protagonist" to make me sympathize more when he *SPOILER* gets chomped by a bear, crushed by a plow, etc.*END SPOILER*

Not the worst, but could have been bettter. 5/8.
-- AgentX on 2/11/2017 5:14:38 PM with a score of 0
I found this a very good and interesting story :D Great work as always.
-- Will11 on 2/6/2017 10:42:35 AM with a score of 0
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