U R: A Magician
, #41 for
played 3,161 times (finished 300)
"trek through the forest"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
U R a magician. Spend your day at the wizard academy learning spells and finding adventure!
This is a nice attempt at a good story at magician school. I like idea and the setting. I like that I’ve got a clear goal to find my wand, that was fun. I’m not sure I get the hallway and the doors, though. It appeared to be completely random. It might be nicer to search for my wand if there were hints about where I might go or what I might find before I get demerits for looking for my wand!
Beyond that, there’s not a lot to this story. The story has a tremendous amount of potential. Each one of those pages that has a few words or a few sentences could be transformed into a wall of text with vivid descriptions, thoughts, and details. You could expand and describe the things that exist in each classroom. The transformations could be described in detail as you twist and convert into each additional animal.
I don’t really understand the demerits, either. Why are they there? They didn’t seem to have an effect on the story. Maybe they could be used to see if you have certain options later in the game – for example, if you have less than 3 demerits, you might see different options near the end or at least get different endings. And speaking of endings, this one really sort of ended all of a sudden. Sure, you completed a day in school, but then what? Nothing really happened, and you didn’t appear to accomplish anything. This would be even better if near the end it led to another year, another day, another person, or even graduation. This is a great start and could be something really good with some additions.
on 6/26/2018 3:14:34 PM with a score of 0
At first, it was somewhat interesting. The beginning was fine: you presented the character with a problem (the missing wand), and they had to solve it. But after that, it soon became apparent that there was no meaning to the story. I felt that you were only piling random events on top of each other, and it would have been better if you created an actual plot. Your writing could also use some work. More detailed scenes would be better. As for your grammar, it was okay. There were some errors here and there, and there were some parts where you failed to correctly use punctuation. As for the demerits, I couldn't see how they affected the story or whether they were truly necessary.
on 5/2/2016 2:52:48 PM with a score of 0
I spent half the game looking through multiple doors for this wand of mine, whilst people kept turning me into animals. I swear, I must have turned into 5 different farmyard animals whilst teachers yelled at me and took away my non-existent Gryffindor points for very little reason at all. It was like everyone was just out to get me.
I liked the "magic school" feel, but it really needs room for improvement and something beyond "find your wand and avoid demerits".
on 8/4/2017 6:42:18 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely pointless....I like it.
on 3/25/2017 9:15:14 PM with a score of 0
Very boring use of advance editor. This story was at first interesting. But, then you just fucked it up.
on 4/19/2016 10:21:20 AM with a score of 0
Is there a way to not earn demerits?
on 8/8/2015 10:10:13 PM with a score of 0
on 7/24/2015 11:23:27 PM with a score of 0
It was interesting, but a little unusual.
on 3/21/2015 4:15:56 AM with a score of 0
on 9/11/2014 3:12:44 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it a little, but needs to be longer to grab me some attention.
on 3/20/2014 3:23:40 PM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Help & Info
Who Is Online
98 guests and
version 20190007 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2020, Halogen Studios Entertainment |