Wizard Duel at Wizard School

Player Rating2.71/8

"#935 overall, #125 for 2015"
based on 173 ratings since 03/26/2015
played 997 times (finished 191)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level1/8

"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.

You're a freshman in Wizard's School and it's time for your end-of-semester exam. Unfortunately, you haven't studied, and this exam could quite literally be the death of you! Successfully counter the Tutor's spell to pass "Spells & Sorcery 101" class!

Player Comments

A little recap from me to help you write in the future.
There will be spoilers so consider yourself warned.

First things first. The story was very short. Just one page for every choice and one page for the description of the scene. You could have tried to use the same amount of choices to do a multi stage exam within the story. As it is now it simply is a trial and error kind of thing.

I am no native speaker so I will not judge grammar. All I can say is that I did not find any obvious mistakes ruining the flow of the story.

The main character is just plain boring. You provide us with zero background, or any character traits that make him interesting. All you tell us is the fact that he is to lazy to study and has no clue what he is doing.

The test itself is the main problem though.
You provide the reader with a challenge of stopping the tutors fireball. Now we don't know how the magic in your world works, but you simply tell us different kinds of magic.
The logical choice would be water. Using it leads to failure which destroys any kind of reason within the story. Why would anything else work if not even the most basic knowledge of water extinguishes fire helps?
All other choices lead to pages telling us that poorly executed magic techniques or simply very badly thought through solutions lead to failure.

The worst thing though is that you chose to make the only thing worth trying to not try at all. If simply standing there while a huge fireball races at you, and accepting you are dead already is the only way to survive, why would anyone need to learn how to defend? Why would wizards bother trying to create defensive spells if all you had to do was to accept you can not defend against magic?
It creates a massive plot-hole, along with raising a lot of questions and making it seem so immensely unrealistic.
That word seems big in a fantasy game, but every fantasy and magic system still has to make some kind of sense within a story.

All in all it is a very poorly thought through story with no real plot and just one character, who is also very shallow.
2/8 from me.
-- LJacko on 5/4/2020 4:25:38 AM with a score of 0
It was very well written, but I noticed a few problems. This game was very short. The only reason it took me more than five minutes was because you provided us with literally no background as to how magic worked in this world. The correct answer was completely unintuitive, but worse, nonsensical. Defensive magic based on zen meditation is interesting, but it seems almost too easy to use defensive spells. Someone could stare off into a trance and it would be like they entered God mode.

Also, I find it highly unlikely that, given the situation, the guy would be able to achieve the state of mind necessary for such a spell to work. Unless, of course, he knew how defensive spells like that one functioned, which he probably didn't, because you explicitly stated that he didn't study very well.
-- jamescoker1226 on 3/26/2015 8:12:03 PM with a score of 0
I'm not sure if I buy into your logic on most of those. I have to assume my player character is just an absolute idiot to use his powers in such unimaginative and foolish ways.

Personally, I find the 'salvation through unexpected means' thing to be a really annoying cliche that needs to be properly foreshadowed to work well. And in a story this short, there is no opportunity to do so.

Also, if a wizard is invincible from enemy attack just by accepting he can't stop it, then why ever bother learning any defensive magic? He also becomes akin to a god and in a longer story that would turn him into a Mary Sue.

The general idea has promise, but it needs to be developed into a much longer story to be fully utilized. Most fantasy usually requires hefty word counts because of the world building that goes into it.

I didn't notice any jarring grammar errors though. And it'd be interesting to see where you'd take this if you made it more in depth.
-- Bucky on 3/26/2015 1:56:43 PM with a score of 0
you can't win, thats why I hate it.
-- puppie_lover123 on 10/16/2019 2:10:33 PM with a score of 0
I clicked on accept defeat instantly because I thought it would be funny only to realize I'm a cheater.
-- MrTrickyC on 6/19/2019 1:33:02 PM with a score of 0
Okay, I can see that you took some time and effort to write this, but come on. This is garbage.

2/8 for effort.
-- 325boy on 6/5/2019 6:33:15 AM with a score of 0
This game is shit
-- C6H8O6 on 4/9/2019 2:08:24 PM with a score of 0
Love the article
-- Jake on 12/3/2018 2:55:22 PM with a score of 0
interesting, neat, must try once and never return
-- dj on 9/30/2018 12:42:57 PM with a score of 0
what the heck
-- Bagel_Child on 4/30/2018 1:50:40 PM with a score of 0
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