Wizard Duel at Wizard School

Player Rating2.77/8

"#619 overall, #69 for 2015"
based on 160 ratings since 03/26/2015
played 923 times (finished 173)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level1/8

"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.

You're a freshman in Wizard's School and it's time for your end-of-semester exam. Unfortunately, you haven't studied, and this exam could quite literally be the death of you! Successfully counter the Tutor's spell to pass "Spells & Sorcery 101" class!

Player Comments

It was very well written, but I noticed a few problems. This game was very short. The only reason it took me more than five minutes was because you provided us with literally no background as to how magic worked in this world. The correct answer was completely unintuitive, but worse, nonsensical. Defensive magic based on zen meditation is interesting, but it seems almost too easy to use defensive spells. Someone could stare off into a trance and it would be like they entered God mode.

Also, I find it highly unlikely that, given the situation, the guy would be able to achieve the state of mind necessary for such a spell to work. Unless, of course, he knew how defensive spells like that one functioned, which he probably didn't, because you explicitly stated that he didn't study very well.
-- jamescoker1226 on 3/26/2015 8:12:03 PM
I'm not sure if I buy into your logic on most of those. I have to assume my player character is just an absolute idiot to use his powers in such unimaginative and foolish ways.

Personally, I find the 'salvation through unexpected means' thing to be a really annoying cliche that needs to be properly foreshadowed to work well. And in a story this short, there is no opportunity to do so.

Also, if a wizard is invincible from enemy attack just by accepting he can't stop it, then why ever bother learning any defensive magic? He also becomes akin to a god and in a longer story that would turn him into a Mary Sue.

The general idea has promise, but it needs to be developed into a much longer story to be fully utilized. Most fantasy usually requires hefty word counts because of the world building that goes into it.

I didn't notice any jarring grammar errors though. And it'd be interesting to see where you'd take this if you made it more in depth.
-- Bucky on 3/26/2015 1:56:43 PM
Love the article
-- Jake on 12/3/2018 2:55:22 PM
interesting, neat, must try once and never return
-- dj on 9/30/2018 12:42:57 PM
what the heck
-- Bagel_Child on 4/30/2018 1:50:40 PM
There's not really much to this story, though I already knew what I was getting myself into by the description! Honestly, it made me giggle as a fan of the "magical school" genre. I'm sure this was intended to be a parody, so your goal was accomplished. It was a fun distraction, but had too little actual plot to earn a higher rating from me.
-- Jester on 3/27/2018 9:26:54 PM
Interesting. Would like the test to involve more spells.
-- MrSnuggles on 9/19/2017 12:15:23 AM
This is quite short, but it's an interesting idea. I think I'll play it often when I'm bored.
-- AskFemaleScourge on 8/19/2017 7:10:22 PM
The sheer absurdity of it all made me smile.

I'm assuming that you intended to make the reader at least feel something along the lines of "haha, this is funny".
That's fine, I'll just rate it on your terms then.

5/8, I didn't laugh.

Also the length should be a 1/8.
-- mattc on 6/29/2017 8:33:36 AM
Wow. This was bad. There is a reason why it's called 'Choose Your Own Adventure', which I somehow don't think this constitutes as seeing as it's more like a 'Choose Your Own Single Choice Nonsensical Anecdote'. Many choices which you'd expect to work against the one fire spell you encounter from an incredibly unrealistic professor just don't work out. For some reason, you were fixated on quoting parts of a textbook the reader isn't even exposed to (and therefore can't know about), then chastise them for not knowing some incredibly specific thing about each type of magic until you get to the 'giving up' option, which, against all reason, makes you bloody invincible. Why would anyone learn magic if all they need to do is not know how to use magic and clear their mind!? Why bother with anything else if that's the perfect defence?
Right, this was also really short. If you want to make an actual fantasy game, you're probably going to want at least 30,000 words under your belt, half the size of a legitimate average novel. Seeing as the average fantasy novel is about 3 times as big and you need to take into account that branching reduces exposure to content unless the person goes back and choose every option, even that is pushing it in length. It also seems really stupid that the teacher basically kills you every time and everyone then laughs at the shitty jokes he tells, instead of screaming at horror at their peer's death and the prospect of their own at facing the same 'exam'. In fact, the audience is so little written about, I'm convinced the other members of the class were just a recording of laughter played on repeat like in a fucking sitcom.
That being said, it was pretty well written (better than most almost every game under a rating of 3 I've seen so far), and had few mistakes (not that I'd expect many in less than 2000 words). This has potential to be decent if the choices are made proportional to the outcome, the reader actually finds out who they're reading about, and you basically change mostly everything except the writing style. Pretty brutal review, but at least I mashed a compliment in there somewhere. A story to be vastly improved.
-- AzBaz on 6/18/2017 7:20:47 AM
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