Just don't lose your job over a nice butt

No worries there. There isn't any man worth this job: less than ten minutes away, I get paid enough to survive without needing a second source of income, and I'm planning on getting hired on when my 90 days are up. If this was absolutely horrible, I probably would give in to impulse because that man is fine.

Or you could just ask the guy if he wants to get ice cream sometime

"Hey, you wanna go to the grocery store sometime and get ice cream with me?" Unless he knows a good place, this is the only option for good, fancy ice cream for the same price or less than the ice cream parlors around me. And that's for a pint instead of just a few scoops. There are a couple of cafes I'd like to try though, and I love a good coffee and cinnamon roll.

Did you try chatting with him and getting to know him like a regular person. Might want to stow the convoluted schemes for now lol

Lol, that's what I've been doing when I have the opportunity. I have had a few chances to talk to him already, and smiled and acknowledged him when I couldn't stop to talk to him one time. I do actually want to talk to him more before I ask if he wants to grab a coffee or something sometime. It's always seemed weird to me to straight up ask someone out without kind of getting to know them first, but that's just me.

Everyone here is right, ask him out. ...

How dare you imply that can't show someone that I'm sweet through verbal communication! In all seriousness though, I am a lot more gentle irl than I let on, on here. What I refer to as the tech den is always empty whenever I walk by, probably because all of the techs are having to work on something because we don't have any engineers to actually fix engineering issues. Don't think I'm technically allowed to be in there anyway. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would feel easily emasculated. At least I hope he's secure in his masculinity; as far as personality goes, there isn't much that's more attractive than that. Edit: According to my coworker my face gets red when I talk to him. Fml.

The convolution in this scheme is figuring out how to break machines without looking like it's intentional until I get the right tech. Then I take a chance on summoning Pretty Boy (derogatory) who's more interested in chasing tail (said tail isn't on our line, so he isn't really interested in working on anything). I don't think I could hug someone without asking or being offered one first, and I'd have to feel pretty down to even ask. But I still probably wouldn't ask if it was the only thing that could save my life. Luckily, I'm paranoid about body odor and poor hygiene drives me insane.

In all honesty, I don't really feel good about outright asking if someone is single; it would feel offputting to me if someone asked me that without even really knowing me too well, but I get weird about things. I'm planning on asking him about his weekend if I get a chance to talk to him this week to see if he says anything about Valentine's Day this time or casually slips a girlfriend into the conversation. It's bound to happen eventually. I wish it was as easy going over to him as well. There's only one tech I can rely on to show up somewhat regularly to "fix" the machine that always pisses everyone running it off, and he pissed me off last week. Anyway, this guy is elusive. He's always running around from line to line working on things when I notice him, and when it's time to clock out I'm lucky to catch a glimpse of him.

Cupid cursed me with a crush, so I've been coming up with a convoluted scheme to see if he's single and a good hugger. I also have an obligatory sandwich to rival your own.

Gee, I have absolutely no clue, but I do know you're a dumbass.

I can't even look at hot men without looking for an escape route, so why the fuck would I actually talk to them?

Thanks, I hate your story already.

Hell yeah! That's the spirit!

Both of these were better than I thought they would be. Unfortunately, I can only vote for one story, so I think I'll go with Story A. I felt like it resonated more with me than the other. However, if Story B had gone for a more Tomb Raider (think Angelina Jolie movies and the games pre-2013) feel, then I probably would have voted for it without hesitation.