TheTraveler, The Contributor

Member Since

1/5/2017

Last Activity

4/18/2017 10:53 PM

EXP Points

126

Post Count

17

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

3 wins / 1 loss

Order

Architect

Commendations

0

I've seen it all.  Cannibals, four-eyed people, and even dancing bears.  Impressive, right?  Oh, wait here, while I go get one of my most prized fossilized dinosaur droppings.  I'll even let you hold it!

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points

Storygames

Through Unwilling Eyes
unpublished

Recent Posts

An Emotion-Provoking Hook...? on 3/22/2017 1:38:15 AM

Ah.  Thanks.  I've always been having troubles on beginnings and hooks, for I always feel like they need to be perfect in order to draw in attention.  But I also don't want to quite give too much away.  Would you suggest this revised version to contain more detail?

 

Blood flowed like water and limbs snapped like branches.  Flowed and snapped.  And yet, the insatiable hunger for violence, a sickening burning need for bodies upon bodies to line the street, and the unseen ones being crushed under the rubble of their own homes.  They wished to see children caring for their parents, and once the tables turned, to see the parents burying their children.

"It is simply war," many say.  But, those who die, forever destroyed under the bearing weight of their cause, do not die alone.  They have chained us with them, but only they have the keys to the lock.  If they go down, they pull us along, however, if we are the ones to fall, they simply unchain us.

And for what?

They claim to live, to fight, and to die for us--a cause justified by the needs of the people.  We are all on the same side, are we not?  Rebels?  Loyalists?  There is no difference at all!

But many still say, "it is simply war."

- A letter to a friend


An Emotion-Provoking Hook...? on 3/22/2017 12:12:06 AM

I was wondering how could one gather the attention of players on the first page without having extremely unnecessary text.  The more I read what I wrote, it seems quite vague and unexplained.  What do you guys think?  Is it confusing and unnecessary?

 

Blood drowning like water and limbs snapped like branches.  Drowning and snapped.  And yet, there always seemed a desire for more, a sickening burning need for bodies upon bodies to line the street, crushed under the rubble of their own homes.  They wanted to see children caring for their parents, and to see the parents burying their children.

And for what?

They claimed to live, to fight, and to die for the people--a cause justified by the needs of the citizens.


Is this how it's supposed to be written? on 3/21/2017 11:36:26 PM

Ah, makes sense why it wasn't working!


Is this how it's supposed to be written? on 3/21/2017 4:19:42 PM

Ah, thanks!  You're a wizard at this stuff!


Is this how it's supposed to be written? on 3/21/2017 3:44:31 PM

NOTE: MERCIFUL = 50

I typed in:

%%MERCIFUL%%% Merciful/%%100 - MERCIFUL%%% Ruthless

Hoping I would get:

50% Merciful/50% Ruthless

But instead I got:

50%Merciful/0% Ruthless

 

Is there a way to subtract the value of a variable from a number and then display the result on a page?


Hello Everyone! on 2/15/2017 8:24:58 PM

I am grateful for your kindness.

For some strange reason, I feel an urge to treat you with quite a lot of respect...

Thanks! 


Hello Everyone! on 2/15/2017 8:24:00 PM

Thank you for that advice, Orange!  You also have a very peculiar name.  Thank you for greeting me, once again.  I appreciate it!


Hello Everyone! on 2/15/2017 8:22:46 PM

The French, eh?  My secret has been revealed.  Now I must become who I truly... Time to become Mr. Mean Traveler. wink


Hello Everyone! on 2/15/2017 8:21:41 PM

Thanks for your help, by the way.  And same with Stryker, since I forgot to mention it, up above.  And I only hope I will be good enough to compete with you all! 


Hello Everyone! on 2/15/2017 8:20:30 PM

I give my thanks to you, Bannerlord!  You have been quite helpful in taking your precious time to write the advice I so eagerly needed.  Thank you!