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Felt like putting this part up from my contest entry. Do share your thoughts guys!

The rays of the sun glisten and shine in a prismatic design, as they pass through the flowing water, and bestow warmth upon you. You keep your gaze to the water, careful to not stare at the mighty sun itself, partly out of respect, and partly out of fear of its mighty wrath. Your hands grip the copper pot overhead, as the water slightly pours from it down below, all the while your lips keep chanting the verse that feels like has been on your lips forever.

"Om Mitraye Namaha
Om Ravaye Namaha
Om Suryaya Namaha
Om Bhanavae Namaha
Om Khag-"
You're interrupted by the abrupt halt of the flow, as the rays of the sun hit your eyes unrestrained, causing you to flinch; as if Suryadev himself is upset with the lack of water available for him to quench his fiery thirst. You mutter a word of apology in your mind, as you stare down the copper pot.
It's empty, aside from the rice, jaggery and neem leaves. No, wait, there's no rice added in. No wonder you were feeling a different, incomplete sensation all throughout your prayer.

"Suhasini!" you scream out as loud as you can.
"Suhasini, present yourself here right now!"

Immediately, you hear the telltale sound of her payal clinking against each step, as she quickly rushes to your side. Her facial features, like always are flawless and pristine in your eyes.Deep brown eyes laden with black kajal that accentuates them, rich black tied in a bun with mogras giving the atmosphere a sweet fragrance, a pure silk dress that adorns an embroidery work of fine gold and silver, and the red line of a sindur that passes from her forehead to just above her scalp reminding you that she's yours.

"A very good morning to you husband," she says, as she bows down to touch your feet as a show of respect.

"Rise," you say in a cold voice. She seems to have caught on with the tone and visibly flinches.

The morning hustle and bustle of the busy streets of Pataliputra is vividly audible from the balcony of your abode, where you both stand. Removing your thoughts from there and focusing them on Suhasini, you stare deeply in her eyes.

"What bothers you this fine morning husband," she says, a slight hint of worry in her voice.

"You tell me," you say in response, "I think you surely must have an idea."

She stares at you, at first slightly confused, but then her eyes dart over the copper pot, and a spark of understanding strikes her. She looks down in shame.

"This is the third time," you say. "the third time something has been wrong with the offering. When your father offered me your hand, he never revealed your lack of servitude and inability to follow instructions. I have given your family a lot of power, and a lot of influence. Can I not expect even a modicum of order and stability in return, wife?"

You never called her 'wife' before, and it even stings you deeply in your heart to call her that. Using her first name is a sign of love and bonding that very few men care to use nowadays. Though, you have to be harsh even if you're forced to. If there's one thing you've learnt from being a general over the years, its that order goes a long way in forming stronger bonds.

Lines of black begin to form down her eyes, as tears wash against her kajal. Her hands turn nervous and fidgety, and her face is deeply rooted downwards.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I love you a lot dear husband, its just that at tim-"

"Enough!" you say as you put your hand up. She falls completely silent."

What do you do?

1) Forgive her

2) Punish her

It's an interesting set up. I like that it dives right into a scene and character interaction while giving a hint of the broader world.

It's  a little unclear why she can call him 'husband' multiple times and that is fine, but if he calls her 'wife' it is somehow a sign he isn't being loving, but overall the characterization is good.
 

There were a few typos/errors that could be caught with a proofread:

- If you use the oxford comma, a comma after jaggery would be nice.

- His hollering to Sushani could all be part of the same paragraph rather than on different lines. (General rule of thumb is that new paragraphs signal changes in speaker, audience, topic, setting, or time. Since nothing has changed, it can all be one paragraph.)

- 'payal clinking' should be playful clinking. It's a little ambiguous as to whether she has jewelry that clinks playfully, such as an anklet or coin belt, or if it is her manner of walk that is playful. I'm not sure the comma before as is needed, but could be wrong there. There should be a comma after always. There needs to be a space following the period ending 'in your eyes.' The last sentence of the paragraph doesn't seem to be an actual sentence (perhaps reminding was meant to be remind,) and is very convoluted. Perhaps restructure it, or comb it over to make terms clearer, such as:

"She is dressed in the traditional garb of a married woman, signifying that she is yours: her deep brown eyes are accentuated with black kajal; her rich black hair is tied in a bun, the mogras flowers adorning it lending the air a sweet fragrance; her dress is woven from pure silk embroidered with fine gold and silver thread; and a red line of sindur applied from her forehead to the top middle of her scalp, following her parted hairline."

- vividly audible is a bit of a mixed term since vivid refers to how bright/distinct something is visually

- she says should probably be 'she asks,' and a comma after morning might help clarity.

- In the diologue after 'the third time," you say.' Either the next sentence needs capitalized, or rewrite to, 'you say, "that something has....'

- learnt isn't technically wrong, but it is far less common than using 'learned' as the past tense/past participle of learn.  'Its' should be it's in this case.

- I think there is supposed to be a comma after 'be harsh,' but the sentence might look clearer if though is moved to the middle of it, like 'You have to be harsh, though, even if...'

- There is an unneeded quotation mark after silent.
 

In addition to the minor typos and slight grammar errors, there were a number of phrases that sounded a bit akward or slowed the pace. These could be cleaned up for more impact.

- 'You're interrupted by the abrupt halt of the flow' could be more simply, "the flow abrutly halts' or even 'the flow halts.'

- 'You mutter a word of apology in your mind' could simply 'you mutter an apology as...' ,

-'Immediately' and 'Quickly' aren't really needed to describe her coming since you already have 'rushes'

- Phrases like 'seems to have caught on with the tone' could be eliminated, as 'She visibly flinches' would convey the same idea. This might be my personal preference, but I prefer physical cues such as "her voice wavering" over simply telling us the interpretation, like "a slight hint of worry," as well.

- 'you say' or 'you reply' are smoother dialogue tags than 'you say in response.'

- 'begin to form' might be better as 'trail from,' 'turn' might be better as 'twist,' and 'deeply rooted' might be better as 'cast.' The terms just seem a little unnatural to normal metaphors of speech regarding what is being described.


Overall, though, I think it is a great start and sounds like an interesting hook.

Cool! Thanks for going through it, I'll keep this in mind. Yes I was trying to use 'payal' as a word synonymous to anklet, I thought it might add a touch of realism if a few words were used in the actual language the characters speak,  but on second thought, that will probably just confuse the reader more so I think I'll drop the idea. 

I'll just use distinctly audible, but I was trying to use vividly as in the anklet was 'visibly making a sound' like you could see it at her feet when she's walking. 

Just curious, but, which option would you choose? 

If payal is a piece of jewelry you could keep that line as-is, but perhaps put payal in italics to clue westerners that it is an object and not an adverb? Anklet would perhaps work better there, though, as it looks too close to playful and could easily be mixed up.

Even if something is visible it doesn't become visibly audible unless you can 'see' the soundwaves. And vivid is a bit more than just visible - it's something bright or colorful, like a sunset. If her anklet was bright yellows and purples and oranges, for example, it could be said to be vivid. (Although it would look vivid against her skin, not be vividly audible, unless your main character has synesthesia.)

Lol alright, thanks for clearing it up.