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Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago
Commended by mizal on 5/2/2021 10:45:55 AM

We should have hired a surgeon to cut us carefully apart.
We must have done it the wrong way.
Surely this is the wrong way to do it.
Nothing about it feels right.
Nothing feels right anymore.
Not a damn thing feels right.
My knees weaken with disgust at things I used to like doing.
I turn away from my enjoyment in hopes of finding something that helps.
I cannot be consoled, only occupied.
All the rest is pain. Pain and aversion.

We're apart, that's how you say it should be. But we're not. Not yet.
We're still pulling
And pulling and pulling away.
And it hurts and itches.
The skin has stretched and broken, but it's not all we share.
Organs and sinews, important tissues,
Hanging on by mucus-y strings.
More harmonic pieces that snap off every moment.

I wonder as we force ourselves further
who will end up with what?
Were we attached by too much?
Everything that I do
Starts to remind me of you.

I try to pull away too. Do my part in this affair.
But there are ligaments of you twitching in me, like a puppet's strings.
There are organs of you pulsating in unexpected places.
Did you take bits of me with you?
Have you removed them all? 
Do they hurt forever?
Will you keep any of them, in the end?

There's a place in us, for someone. A sudden, violent, vacuous void.
But apparently not for each other.

I want to cry, or scream, or choke,
But my mouth and throat must have been pulled off in mitosis.
I wish sometimes my eyes were taken too.
Which side of the wishbone did you get?
Mouths that aren't mine mock me from within.
Should we ever have been this close?
Is it this disgusting every time?

I am put off by everything.
Every part of the room is coated in something.
We are ever so unseemly creatures.
Why does everyone do this?
Why did I ever do this?
I fell for it.
I tricked you.
I'm sorry.

I take stock mentally, if such a thing can be done.
What parts of me are left, uncrushed, unstretched?
I wonder every moment how long this will take to heal.
But that's putting the heart before the arteries
Because the wound is not done opening.

We're not done Pulling.


~~~
In light of recent conversation, I was inspired to make a poem! A song would've been more pleasant, but I couldn't think of a lot of things that rhyme. That, and there were already songs that cover the broad spectrum of emotions involved with this. Though I did notice that there weren't any songs that covered the certain finer points of feeling... Rotten and uncomfortable, I suppose. I decided to write a bunch of freeform metaphors instead, since there were a bunch of sentences that I felt really got the feeling across, but none of them had the right amount of syllables, and everything I tried to rhyme with them felt like filler.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago
It's gross, interesting, and surreal.

I like it~

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago
I can genuinely say this is one of the more interesting poems on this subject I've ever come across. Not that the bar is set very high, but you have always had a with metaphors that make prior think of things in new and weird ways, and this is no exception. Just sorry it had to be inspired this way, but you get the feeling of wrongness and separation across really well without any of the standard emo moping.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago

I wonder what this poem is supposed to be about and what its inspiration was. All I can think about is a pair of conjoined twins being cut apart.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago

Fairly sure it's about a painful break-up.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago
Just because it's Sent, I'm with Connoisseur and his interpretation.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago

One of you is correct!

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago

Riddles on top of poetry? This is too much!

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago

We're gonna need a real Oedipus for this one.

Edgy poem with Sent.

one month ago
Very interesting. Love the pacing. Kind of made me think of Akira, but only a little bit.