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A poem for nostalgia

6 months ago

Where have the good days gone by?

Evergreen leaves flying in the fall

Good soil rotating with the Earth, leaving snow to cover nothing

Water leaking stray, from thin roots to summer's bay

 

And I, intoxicated by simple feelings, maddening contrasts, and their inevitable return-

Every season pass, my rings stopped forming. Just dreams past, and nothing more.

 

 

 

Hi! I don't post here a lot, but today I felt nostalgic and written a poem about it. English is not my my first language so a help with grammar subtleties will be appreciated. Ideas and criticisms are also welcome (aside from it doesn't rhythm lol).

A poem for nostalgia

6 months ago

Also, maybe I should have mentioned it in the poem, but its about a tree (hence the talk about roots, soil, leaves, rings, etc...) kept from growing because of his past. Probably too vague now that I view it again.

A poem for nostalgia

6 months ago
I don't know enough about poetry to really critique it, but I liked the last two verses here a lot, they really delivered the impact of the whole poem.

The first section feels sort of choppy, I think a little more consistency in the number of syllables might make it flow better.

A poem for nostalgia

6 months ago

Thanks! I tried to point out missing the memories is like missing water, soil and leaves for a tree in the first section. Things that are basic and necessary for its growth throughout the seasons. Its true, it doesn't flow at all though. Perhaps I'll try to rephrase it while still trying to keep the original meaning intact.