A conversation was being had somewhere on discord, where somebody was like, "I wonder why more vampires aren't dressed up like arab warriors. They already have to cover up to avoid sunlight, I'm surprised more vampires don't know this technique". I had to inform them that many vampires did know this technique, but each and every vampire in the Capybaliphate was put to the sword by none other than His Emminence, (May Allah be pleased with him) so that the only vampires remaining in living memory were from Christendom.
Of course, it did so grieve Malk to banish such a magnificent moustache from the sultanate, so this was the only part of Dracula that remains in the Capybaliphate to this day. On the shelf with many other trophies in his hall of achievement.
Actual photo of Malk banishing his tinder date in the morning to study Hebrew:
Pasha Malk Journeys to the Shogunate:
Why Dark is a samurai is a deepcut and complicated meme that involves more than just my photoshopping, but essentially, one night Dark became drunk enough that he started speaking fluent (albeit romanized) Japanese, and we realized he must be of noble bearing. Naturally, diplomatic relations between the empires of the old and new worlds needed to be established, so His Emminence journeyed eastward around the very world to that fateful isthmus of sand and jaguars.
Here depicted is the map that marked his great travel. Many Warrior Eunuchs were lost off the coast of Ethiopia during a misunderstanding with the Blemmyes. Briefly did they stop on the peninsula of Ind before witnessing great terror and taking sail with great haste. Soon they arrived at the Shogunate, greeted by the man-eating spine-leafed plant from which they distill their spirits. More Warrior Eunuchs were lost that day.
The Pasha and his not-quite-men arrived with due haste at the fortress of the Shogun himself, who arrived to greet these foreigners at the gate.
There was a mutual exchange of exotic treasure, and respect.
Dark does the thing where he calls for a weapon also:
The discord is beset by Goblins (again)
Malk's standards of beauty: