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Zade's Tale

Given who she was named after, perhaps it was destiny that Zade became a story teller, unfortunately for her parents she wasn’t telling stories to win over some rich prince. She was making up stories mostly to get out of trouble. Though it never helped, it didn’t stop her from doing so. In fact her stories just seemed to get more outlandish as she grew older.

No one could say she wasn’t imaginative. Indeed she would claim that her stories were a blessing from Allah. This claim was not out of blasphemy like most believed. Zade really believed she was given a divine gift and perhaps she was.

However, one day after a “misunderstanding” involving another neighborhood girl falling out of a tree, her family had enough and were about to sell her to the nearest slave market. Her uncle (Who was often amused by her tall tales) told her that perhaps she should leave Baghdad as obviously it was too mundane for her imagination. Instead of just telling lies, she could actually LIVE the stories she told.

Maybe it was time. Wasn’t like she had much choice anyway seeing as it would be best to get away from Baghdad for awhile. She was sure her family would probably calm down eventually, but in the meantime, Zade would take her first steps towards collecting a story that would surpass them all!

And afterwards? Who knows, perhaps she would pursue other goals as well. Allah would surely guide her throughout her journeys.

Okay so you’re basically just wandering and trying to get some good encounters. Basically you’ve got 3 markers and whenever you get an encounter that results in gaining 2 or more story points, you achieve one of these. Achieve all 3 and you complete your quest. Yep, it’s a bit of a chaotic one, but who knows you might get lucky and get 3 really good encounters in a row.

Anyway you’re currently in Baghdad, you can head towards Europe, Asia, India or Africa.

Current Quest: The Story of Stories
Destiny: 0
Story: 0
Wealth: Poor

Quests to be completed: Seek Knowledge, The Call of the Wild
Quests completed:

Skills
Piety
Quick Thinking
Wisdom

Statuses
None

Treasures
None

After quite a bit of pondering, Zade decides she'll head towards Europe. Even if the Crusades won't happen for more than two hundred years, there's always an interesting war or other in the Byzantine Empire that could make for a good story.

Well you wanted a story

Zade made her way toward Europe first given their slightly more “progressive” ideas about independent women. Of course exchanging potentially being stoned to death to being burned as a witch might not be too much of a difference.

Her first stop was Constantinople which was considered the main capital of the Christian infidels. She shook her name at such a silly name. She had a good idea of what the city SHOULD be named.

Still, this place really was a center of activity. Surely she’d have an interesting encounter of some sort here.

No sooner did she think this when all of a sudden she heard a loud noise and many infidels running in all different directions, including city guards! This was followed by laughing.

“Foolish peons! See how your Christian God cannot protect you!”

At first she wondered who would be openly mocking the infidels in one of their most powerful cities. After peering around a corner she saw a man dressed in tattered robes casting lightning from his very fingers! His eyes were wild looking. 

Clearly this man was a Mad Wizard and unfortunately for Zade, he’d caught sight of her peeking at him from behind a corner of a building. She blinked and the wizard had teleported right before her.

“Well what have we here? A Muslim? Pah! You lot are no better than these sheep! Same weakling god, different name. The only real gods are the OLD ONES that I have been blessed by!” 

The mad wizard then began to babble something that was surely unholy by any known religion.

Zade only had a few moments to react to this dangerous situation

Your options are Grovel, Aid, Avoid, Bargain, Attack, Trick or Hire

Zade, in all of her wisdom, decides the best course of action here is to aid the heretic. Despite the fact he's just another infidel, he does shoot lightning at Christians, something she's always wanted to try.

As they say, an enemy of her enemy is her friend. She can work on converting him to Islam later.

The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy

“Wait, hold on! I’m just one while the Christian infidels here are many! Surely you would want to eliminate more of them than focus on me. I saw where most of them ran to hide, I can lead you to them.” Zade remarked.

The wizard stopped chanting and looked at Zade closely. He was now close enough for her to detect the strong scent of fish on him.

“Hm, so you wish to assist the Old Ones in wrapping their tentacles around the world and purging human filth? Well I can indeed use your aid. I had a particularly gruesome spell in mind for this city, however I’m going to need some blood. Some of yours should do nicely…”

The wizard brandished a dagger and began to reach for Zade. Once again employing her Quick Thinking she made up another story using the strong fish smell she noticed.

“Okay, I can give you some of my blood, but I dunno if it’ll be any good.” Zade remarked.
“Eh? What are you talking about?” the wizard asked.
“I got a sickness in the blood. Always had it since I was born. Dunno what it is, but once I cut myself on a sharp rock while swimming and it caused nearby fish to die when the blood hit the water. Even some small squid.”

The mad wizard’s eyes widened in fear and he actually recoiled in horror.

“Gah! Stay away!” he shouted before running off.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Zade quickly made haste out of area before the infidels sent the proper military to resolve this situation.

Gain 1 Destiny, Gain 2 Story, Gain the Beguiling skill

(1 story marker down, 2 to go)

Despite being rather upset she didn't get to jihad any Christians, Zade continues onwards in the vauge direction of Adrianople, grateful for her new skill.

Enchanted or just simpin?

Zade continued her trek through Christian infidel lands stopping this time at Adrianople.

There wasn’t much going on here that was story worthy until she noticed a scantily clad woman surrounded by a large crowd of men.

At first she thought maybe this some decadent public show that Euros engaged in but upon a second look, she noticed that these men weren’t just staring at this half naked woman, but were bowing and showing a sort of reverence. She heard a couple of the men call her “m’lady” so she assumed that this woman despite her revealing wear might be a noble of some sort.

Still, there was something unnatural about how the men were hanging around her. Almost like as if they were enchanted.

The Noble Enchantress noticed Zade observing the scene.

“Yes? Is there something you wanted to say?"

Zade started to wonder if Europe was just infested with magic using heretics and pondered her next move: Grovel, Aid, Rob, Avoid, Bargain, Attack, Trick, or Hire

She decides to aid the woman, in the form of going on an excessively long tirade about how debased and vile such garments are and offering to buy her some modest clothes befitting of a Muslim. 

She fails to mention she has no money to purchase the aforementioned clothes, but all's well that ends well if she can convert a single unbeliever.

Get This Woman a Hijab stat!

Ignoring the many boos from the crowd of men, Zade continued her small speech about how a proper lady should conduct herself according to the holy Quran. Zade was mildly nervous, but she felt that she must do Allah’s will and surely he would protect her not only from these men, but from the woman herself who was obviously much more dangerous given her power and status.

The Noble Enchantress heard Zade’s words and suddenly began to tear up.

“It’s true! I don’t even like dressing like this! I just don’t know any other way of attracting attention! I’m so shy!” The Enchantress said
“Wait, you’re shy?!” Zade said a little surprised.

The enchantress said when it comes to dealing with others within her circle of nobility (where she’s not supposed to use her magic) she’s so shy that she runs away and hides from potential suitors. She only does this in the hopes that maybe it might make her more confident, but it’s just not the same and hasn't helped at all.

Zade goes on to explain that if the Enchantress gives herself over more to the teachings of Allah rather than ye olde thottery she will surely attract a proper mate and she will have the confidence to not run off. The Enchantress is so overjoyed with this new perspective that she invites Zade to come to one of her nobility functions to further teach her the ways of Islam, along with being an assistant of sorts so she doesn’t run away like she normally does when one of the men speaks to her.

Seeing an opportunity to see how the upper class lives and the potential for a good story, Zade agrees.

The function is fine, but not especially exciting. After it was all said and done Zade appreciated the new experience, but it probably wasn’t worthy to be a story that needed retelling. Still she was glad that she managed to instill some confidence in the Noble Enchantress and more importantly put her on the path to Allah.

She also didn’t mind all the money that the Noble gave her in gratitude for her help.

Gain 1 Story. Gain 1 Wealth

Having accomplished her life goals by converting a single unbeliever, Zade continues onwards in her journey.

Stuck in the mud

Zade continued her trek through Europe, making it all the way to the Iberian Peninsula which she felt more relaxed in due to it being under Muslim rule. She hoped one day that the entire continent will finally be under the glorious reign of Islam. 

In the meantime, Zade decided to avoid the cities and just enjoy the wilderness for a change. During this peaceful walk, she saw something in a nearby patch of mud. She couldn’t tell what it was exactly, but it was glinting a bit from the sunlight. She was reminded that during this area’s conquest, treasures, loot and even artifacts were lost during hasty escapes and careless transportation.

Could this be one of those? It didn’t look very large from where she was standing, but even if this was a Small Artifact, it could be very valuable.

Zade pondered her next move: Examine, Take, Use, Open, Avoid, Sneak, Hire Help, Enter

Zade, too weak of will to resist the allure of shiny objects, completely disregards any obligation to find its owner and immediately takes it as her own.

The phrase 'finders keepers' might only begin a thousand years in the future, but she can't let things such things keep her from the possibility of shiny treasure.

Meow

Zade overcome by the possibilities of what this artifact might be, she grabbed it out of the mud and wiped it off.

The wonder soon became horror as she immediately recognized what this was from stories she had heard and dropped it. However, she feared the damage was already done.

This object was a golden guardian cat of Queen Mew Mew the IX. This little known Egyptian Queen loved cats even more than the average Egyptian and specifically had little guardian cats with jade eyes put all around her tomb. A few of these didn’t make it inside when she died thanks to some greedy workers, however messing around with treasures belonging to Egyptian royalty living OR dead tended to have dire consequences in the form of curses.

How one got all the way to the Iberian Penisula is a mystery and it hardly mattered as Zade crumpled to the ground feeling the effects of the curse.

After it was all said and done, Zade now had taken on a feline appearance, but worse is she now felt her obsession for riches growing inside her. Her own eyes now also green, but with envy. She looked at the jade eyed figure and cursed as she resisted taking it despite REALLY wanting to.

Zade probably wouldn’t be able to resist other chances of grabbing riches by force while under this curse though.

Gain 2 Destiny. Gain Beast Form. Gain Envious.

Alright, so much like Peng, you’ll have to either gain a treasure or 2 wealth levels to get rid of this effect. The other choice is discarding 3 Destiny and taking the “On Pilgrimage” status to get rid of it. And you can’t win while you have this status.

And much like Mizal, You can’t use or gain seduction or appearance while in Beast Form. You also can’t court anyone as a choice (I just won’t give you the option) You can get rid of this by giving a wealth level to someone with magic if you’re in the same space, but nobody currently has magic anyway. (You can still win while in beast form though, go figure)

Ah, so she’s a furry now. How awful. Nearly as bad as being Indian.

Piety is the solution to everything. To Mecca it is, even if that means giving up a portion of her destiny. In the meantime, Zade will pray she’s mistaken for some failed experiment and not some degenerate furfag.

Kitty Kult

Zade was a pious woman above all else and regardless of this foul pagan witchery that befell her, nothing could be more powerful than Allah. 

She prayed upon her situation and knew her answer would be to make a pilgrimage to Mecca. She would make haste there at once, but already she could feel at least some of her burdens being shed as the feelings of greed left her.

(Lose 3 Destiny, Lose Envious status, Gain On Pilgrimage status)

Nothing was changed about her feline appearance however. Can’t have everything immediately. 

Since she was already heading in that direction she ended up stopping at Alexandria in Egypt. It was an Egyptian curse anyway, maybe she’d learn how to reverse it or something. (Shame that the library there didn’t exist anymore, that probably would have made things easier)

Her feline features didn’t seem to bother anyone, if anything people seemed to be respectful and polite to her. It was Egypt after all, they’re really into cats here. Zade figured it could be worse, she could have transformed into a dog person.

She didn’t get much help though. Merchants, sages, and the like just replied they didn’t have or know any way to transform her back. 

However, things would get more complicated than just not finding a solution. A few decadent pagans seemed to take too much of a liking of her appearance stating that she was a symbol of the old goddess Bast. They began to try to grab her and insist that she come with them. Zade was disgusted by such a thing and resisted, but this was actually part of a greater concern in this part of the region. 

The cult of Bast had been growing and unfortunately it had a very prominent member among its ranks. In fact she was bold enough to make an appearance with her followers. A princess! Though a Mad one obviously if she was worshiping an idol rather than Allah.

“Seize her! She is surely important to our cause for Bast!"

Zade had to act fast if she was ever going to make it to Mecca at all.

Grovel, Aid, Rob, Avoid, Converse, Attack, Abduct, or Honor

Zade supposes being mistaken for a cat cultist is far better than being mistaken for a furry, but she's vaguely afraid of the possibility she'll be made a human sacrifice for Bast if they catch her.

She simply avoids the woman, even if that is a bit of a coward's choice.

Lying BASTard

Surrounded by crazed cultists lead by royalty, they really was little chance to escape the city even if Zade wanted to, at least not in the traditional running away way.

Once again her skills came in handy and she took initiative.

“STOP! You would dare impede one chosen by Bast?! Do not touch me with your unworthy hands! I was sent to observe the activities going on here.” Zade exclaimed with a confidence that did indeed stop the cultists and even the princess from accosting her any further.

However, the mad princess made her way through her followers and approached Zade. She now wasn’t quite convinced.

“Sent from where and by who exactly? And how are we to believe that you are a chosen one of Bast? For all we know you’re using some cheap magician’s trick to look as you do. If you are truly one of Bast’s chosen, then you would know her tenets of…”

Zade certainly didn’t know any great details on such pagan idolatry, but she took a different gamble instead by not letting the princess finish her sentence and actually striking her across the face.

The princess was stunned enough by the blow that she shut up.

“SILENCE FOOL! If my appearance is not enough to convince you then perhaps that new scratch across your face will! Do not question your betters further or you will feel Bast’s full wrath! I see that this city is still in need of proper respect for our blessed goddess!”

Now the princess was on the defensive.

“Now that’s just not true! I have really been working hard on converting this entire city! It’s just difficult with Islam being the major religion in the region! I have made great progress though as you can see by my followers here. I’ve also been working on my father who’s old and feeble minded. I even managed to exile my own brother! It won’t be long before I can build a proper temple to Bast like in the days of old!” the princess remarked.
“Pfft, exile? You should have had the unbeliever executed, family or not! I don’t know…I have seen better progress in…um…Zaila, which I just came from.” Zade said half trying to remember another city in Africa.
“Zaila? I wasn’t even aware that we had a sect there.”
“And THAT is why you fail.”
“NO! Wait! I promise this city is more worthy of Bast! Uh…a donation! How much would an obvious emissary of Bast need to travel comfortably to her next stop?”

While the temptation of getting free loot was there, she didn’t really need to be weighed down by more riches. Zade was already feeling bad about all this trickery she had to resort to especially while on a pilgrimage to make things right with Allah in the first place. Or rather it wasn’t the trickery she felt bad about, but having to pose as a filthy pagan that made her die a little inside.

“Pah I have everything that Bast provides! I have no need of your trinkets.” Zade remarked.
“Okay, well how about this, everything in this city is free! If there’s anything you do decide you need you can just take it okay? Please just accept this as my way of apologizing for my lack of belief and disrespect earlier.”
“Hm…very well, Bast will accept your tribute. Now let me by, I have other cities that need my attention.”
“Many thanks. And the next time you enter this city you will see even further progress, you have my word as Princess Nadia, most obedient to our goddess Bast!”

Zade quickly left, before Princess Nadia was potentially less dazzled by her lies. Zade felt dirty about the whole ordeal and it would be another thing she’d have to make amends for when she finally reached Mecca.

Still, potentially getting free stuff in the future if she ever had to pass through Alexandria again wasn’t too bad of a deal given what could have happened to her.

Gain 1 Story, Gain 1 Destiny, Gain Bargaining and Evaluation skill

Zade continues onwards to Mecca, grateful for her new skill yet dearly hoping she has an encounter that yeilds more of a story soon.

(To follow in Mizal's and Peng's footsteps, I also request an update in stats.)

TCat - Scheherazade

Current Quest: The Story of Stories
Destiny: 1
Story: 4
Wealth: Rich

Quests to be completed: Seek Knowledge, The Call of the Wild,
Quests completed:

Skills
Bargaining & Evaluation
Beguiling
Piety
Quick Thinking
Wisdom

Statuses
Beast Form
On Pilgrimage

Treasures
None

A Message From Allah or Foul Magic?

After a long trek, Zade finally arrived in Mecca, she was a bit tired though and it was now night so she decided she’d find some place to sleep for the night before atoning properly.

A humble room with a bed and sheltering her from the elements was really all she needed so she didn’t go for any place too fancy. It did have a fireplace, but it wasn’t too cold anyway.

Zade soon went to sleep.

Time passed and suddenly the dark room was filled with a bright light. It was enough to cause Zade to stir from her sleep and instinctively shield them, all the while wondering what was going on.

The fireplace now had a fire burning in it, but the coloring wasn’t of a normal fire. It was very bright, more of a white glow, making it hard to even look at directly.

Zade was now sitting up and more awake. This was obviously no ordinary fire and was Mystical though she didn’t know from what exactly, let alone why it had appeared in her room. This was the holy city, surely pagan magic could not work here could it? Maybe it was a sign from Allah himself?

The only good thing is the fire was still in the fireplace and wasn’t spreading, but still sudden fires are always a bit concerning.

Zade wondered how to proceed.

Pray, Avoid, Wait, Cry out, Drink, Examine, Travel, Hide

She has weathered many travels for this moment, spread Islam where she could, made a pilgrimage to Mecca. It is a sign from God, it must be.

This is no choice for her, not truly, Zade thinks. She must pray.

Allah really is on your side

Zade took this as a sign of Allah attempting to communicate directly so she prayed before the mystic flame, however something was wrong, she heard something, but the voice was not a pleasant one. The voice spoke of unwholesome blasphemies and temptations. She opened her eyes briefly and now saw a horrible face in the flames. This was surely a demon that was trying to prey upon her mortal failings, she wouldn’t allow it however. She had traveled here to atone in the first place, she wouldn’t fail now.

Her faith in Allah was stronger than any demon’s magic. She now closed her eyes and prayed even harder. Now asking for forgiveness for mistaking this fire as a sign from Allah along with other mistakes she had made.

The demon was now getting angrier, but Zade’s flame of faith burned brighter than the demons unholy flames of fire. She resisted any attempts of foul enchantment and soon she heard a loud roar and the room went dark.

Zade opened her eyes again and the mystic flame was gone. She sighed with relief that she had beaten the demon with Allah’s help. Perhaps the flame wasn’t a message from him, but he was still here and he heard her.

Still, the fact that a demon could pop up in the holy city was pretty concerning. Maybe this had been a test of her faith?

It had to be. How else would such a creature even be able to exist here in such a place without Allah allowing it?

She passed obviously and this pleased her as she was sure it pleased Allah.

Feeling exhausted from this whole ordeal, Zade went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning when she was ready to go to the Great Mosque when now she heard another voice in her head.

“There is no need my holy child, you have already atoned and more. You may continue your journeys.”

This voice was much different than the one she heard last night. This one “felt right” and filled her with hope.

“Yeah, it looks pretty crowded anyway. Gonna go with Allah on this one.”

With a new reaffirming of her faith, Zade set forth for a new destination.

Gain 4 Destiny. Gain 1 Story. Gain Master level Piety. Lose On Pilgrimage status.

You’ve now got 5 story points, so you can also choose another skill or upgrade one to Master level.

(And as an aside, you came VERY close to outright dying with that encounter. Literally was a roll of the dice that it went positive rather than negative)

Extremely grateful at the fact she's still alive, albeit slightly shaken from her brush with death, Zade hopes she'll be lucky enough to avoid such a perilous encounter in the future as she continues onwards.

(Taking the skill of Luck. I didn't realize you could even die in this game, and certainly hope to avoid doing so.)

More Stories!

While Zade was feeling pretty positive about herself and life in general, there was the matter of her task at hand. Even with all she’d been through, she still didn’t think it quite measured up to be “The Story of Stories”.

She always was a perfectionist that way.

While wandering around could produce results, she thought it might be useful to go back over some of the rumors and gossip she’d heard about other places that could provide what she was seeking.

First on her list was Andrianople, which she’d already been to since that’s where she converted the Enchantress noble to Islam. However she’d heard that something major had gone on there since her last visit. She didn't know what exactly though, so it might be worth heading there again. 

Second on her list was Balts. She hadn’t been there when she visited Europe. She heard it just got more barbaric the further north you went in the land of pale infidels and she was doubtful of getting a good story there, but she might be surprised.

Which brought her to last on her list, which was Samarkand. She’d heard all sort of things about this place and it sounded like it deserved nothing less than to be destroyed by Allah’s righteous wrath. While she might very well get a good tale out of the visit, but at a severe risk to not just her life, but potentially her soul just stepping in such a wicked place.

Of course there was also nothing holding her from just continuing on how she had been and traveling by instinct.

At the sudden realization she's forgotten to chose a destination, Zade heads in the direction of Alexandria.

Kitty WOW

Now that she’d atoned, Zade decided to head back to Alexandria before setting off on another long journey. She wouldn’t really get hassled there and maybe she would stumble on someway of transforming herself back to looking human again that she missed before.

When she finally reached the city, she noticed that even in the little time span that she had left, the city had undergone quite the transformation. She’d heard that that insane princess she ran into did indeed take over. Zade shook her head. There was no way what she’d done here was going to stand. Surely one of the nearby Muslim rulers would retake the city in Allah’s name eventually. 

In the meantime, it looked like idolatry and paganism had complete rule here. These people must have truly weak in their faith if they allowed all this to happen so fast. Either that or ancient dark magic was at work. Maybe staying here wasn’t such a good idea even if she was treated very well. 

Not wishing to have to resort to the same trickery as last time, Zade kept most of her face covered to keep locals from suddenly trying to worship her or something. However, this did nothing to shoo away the actual cats which tended to follow her a bit more than usual. 

The large group of felines taking an interest in her wasn’t too much of a problem until someone called out to her very loudly

“WOW YOU LOOK JUST LEK THE STATCHOOSE!

Zade turned around and looked, but saw nobody except more cats. In fact there wasn’t anyone around except cats. Then she heard the voice again.

“DOWN HEAR TWO LEGS!”

She looked down and saw one particular cat standing a bit more upright than the rest and staring intently.

 “ME AM MEOWING IN HED! WOW!”

Zade couldn’t believe this. She’d certainly experienced and saw weirder things, but this seemed so randomly strange that it was comical. 

Zade decided what exactly she was going to do with this Talking Beast.

Pray, Study, Capture, Attack, Follow, Aid, Seek aid, or Hide

Wondering if she's been teleported to some lolrandom game from the 2000s, Zade slumps to the ground in question of her life choices. She'll follow the talking cat, she supposes, her curiosity winning over her caution.

Lol Random

Zade imagined that the cat probably wanted something if it called out to her in the first place, though now she wondered if all of them could talk or if maybe she was developing some sort of mind link with them due to her appearance.

“WAT U DO?” the cat asked.
“Well I currently travel the world experiencing life. I’m hoping to write a book of all the great adventures I have at some point.” Zade replied.
“ME CAN HELP! FOLLOW!”
“Where are we going?”
“VENTURE! WOW!”

Zade shrugged her shoulder and followed the cat, she figured she’d play along for awhile.

Along the way, the cat mostly talked about catching mice, sleeping and other cat things. It was sort of boring and after awhile she got the impression they were just randomly walking around. Still she was curious about one thing.

“How is it that you can talk?” Zade asked the cat.
“DUNNO BIG TWO LEG CAT LADY BLESS ME GUESS. LEK BLESS U.” the cat replied.

Zade figured the cat must be talking about Bast.

“That pagan god didn’t bless me. This is a curse that I look like this.”
“DON UNNERSTAND BUT CAN U ASK MAK ME BIG TOO LEK U?”
“I don’t worship pagan gods. I only pray to the one and only god Allah.”
“HOO ALA?”
“As I said, he is the one and only god and at some point this city will feel his wrath for its blasphemy.”
“ALA SOUND DUM AN SMELLY. YOU BIG DUM FOR FOLLOW HIM.”

At this point the cat went into a litany of blasphemous slurs against Allah along with more insults against Zade. It was a pretty surprising turn of events. Zade immediately tried to teach the furball a lesson, but it had already run off laughing along with getting lost within the horde of other cats. Zade decided she’d never catch him and turned around to leave this cursed city.

“Wow, that was random.”

Gain 1 Story

(Funny enough the last bit isn’t that far from the actual paragraph except it was a dog yelling blasphemy against Allah)

Super Sagen

Zade decided to head further south in Africa. There were still a lot of mysteries about the continent and the further south one went, the less well explored it actually was, so it was entirely possible some of these stories could be true. 

Still she wasn’t keen on just wandering into complete untamed wilderness, so she stuck to a trade route until she eventually reached Timbuktu a well known trading hub. Usually with all the kinds of people coming in and out of such places the potential for hearing an interesting story or rumor to confirm or follow up on.

While walking through the bazaar, an older man was standing around boasting to anyone who would listen.

“I, Umar the Great have traveled all over the world and there is no limit to my knowledge! For a mere few dinar, I can answer ANY question you may have.” Umar said.

Only a few actually were paying attention to him, but some did take him up on his offer and when doing so, Umar did answer their questions. 

Though in some cases there really was no way to confirm if he was correct or not. Plus Umar was definitely using a lot of big words and speaking so fast with utter confidence that he at least appeared to be correct regardless of if he actually was. Nobody challenged him on his answers.

“You there cat girl! You look like someone with questions! I can provide the answers!”

This “Powerful” Sage apparently was now seeking Zade’s attention and coin. Whether he’d get it or not  and in what capacity was up to Zade 

Grovel, Aid, Rob, Avoid, Converse, Attack, Court (lol), Abduct or Honor

Despite that it may be amusing to court him, she decides the only sensible choice is to converse with him. He won't get any of her money, but perhaps she'll get an answer to one of her seemingly endless problems.

You sound insane

Well this sage claimed to know everything, Zade was going to put that to the test.

“Sure I got a question. How can I be transformed back into my original human form?” Zade asked.
“Is that not your natural lovely form?” Umar asked.
“Lov..okay I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, but no I’m not some cat person and I don’t worship Bast either. I just picked up the wrong object stuck in the mud one day. A small cat figure with jade eyes.”
“Hmm yes! I know of this.”

Umar nodded his head sagely and said nothing more as he stroked his beard. Zade waited, but he made no elaboration.

“Well?” Zade asked.
“Well what?” Umar retorted.
“Well you said you know. What exactly is it you know? About the figurine? About the curse? About how to fix it? What?”
“I know everything! You can easily fix your petty problems with powerful magic.”
“Yes, I sort of figured that, my question is where and how? Do I have to travel to some sacred place? Can i just hire an efreet to change me back? What exactly do I have to do?”
“The answer has been within yourself all along.”
“…what does that mean? Should pray to Allah to take off the curse?”
“Is it really a cruel curse? Or are you just not taking advantage of a bountiful blessing?”
“What?”
“For when you see through a familiar feline’s eye, you see more than just rotten rodents.”
“You’re not making any…”
“When faced with difficulties, you must meow ahead, lest you go to the canine kennels.”
“…”
“Life is a curious kumquat when you look at it, all your goals lie within.”

Zade just stood there in disbelief as Umar proceeded to talk utter nonsense. Granted he’d been leaning towards talking nonsense when she heard him before, but it seemed like he’d just gone completely off the deep end now.

“You sound insane.” 
“Ah but within insanity lies great madness. Now then, I’ve answered your question, about my fee…”
“You haven’t answered anything and I’m not paying you anything.”

Zade walked away from Umar who spoke more gibberish but ultimately provided nothing of substance. 

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