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Creation Mythology for a new story

9 years ago

                    Ascension  

                    Mythology 

In the beginning there was the earth. A dry baron land covered in deserts and mountains, there was no light or darkness but a neutral colour incomprehensible to the human mind. The universe was governed by 7 spiritual beings, there was the principle gods, () the warrior god and the greatest of the 7, () the god of death destruction and rebirth aka the mad god, whose main focus was to oppose all decisions and actions taken by the warrior god and () the goddess of life, fertility and love. Then there were the 4 lesser gods, () the sun god, () the god of darkness and main rival of (), () the goddess of the moon and () the god of nature.

The conflict between these immortal beings began when () the goddess of life appeared on the earth in a humanoid form and began breathing life into the the rocks and carving new creatures from them, seeing this the god of death and destruction was outraged, fearing the decision to give free will to beings confined by time and space the mad god appealed to () the chief of the gods and demanded all the creatures be destroyed and () banished from the earth, however the warrior god denied his request and allowed () to remain on the earth to create new life. () decided to ignore the rule of
No intervention and descended to the earth at once, there he corrupted all life created thus far and directly caused the deaths of many mortal beings just to initiate his plans of destruction death and rebirth. 

With this action the war of the gods became inevitable, battle lines were drawn and sides were chosen, all seven gods descended to the earth in humanoid form for the final conflict. On one side there was the warrior god, the sun god, the god of nature and the goddess of life however she did not take part in any confrontation or battle, and the opposing side was lead by the god of death and destruction followed by the god of darkness and the goddess of the moon.

The first battle was fought between the sun god and the god of darkness assisted by the goddess of the moon. The battle was truly incomprehensible but in the end they fought to a stalemate as the prime powers of both entity's canceled each other out. The fate of the universe was to be decided at the main battle between the warrior god and the god of death and destruction, the warrior god appeared in all his glory at the peak of the highest mountain on earth, in his humanoid form he was equipped with an impenetrable diamond shield, a sword with a blue glow made of pure energy forged from the centre of a dying star and a helmet with 6 metallic bars inserted into the top representing the 6 others gods and containing the powers of each. The god of death and destruction was equipped with with the mace of death which emitted a darkness not even the sun god can illuminate, the staff of destruction which with a single tap can destroy all Mata within a certain range and finally his most powerful weapon, his mouth.. When he speaks his voice inspires madness and With a single breath he plagued the earth with all the diseases and viruses to come. 

The battle was long destructive and intense for the other gods whose fate was intwined with the fate of the victor. The god of death and destruction surprisingly had the upper hand for most of the battle dealing major blows to the warrior god but the god of nature and the goddess of life soon realised the surrounding environment of destruction was strengthening the mad god and came to the horrifying conclusion that the warrior god would fall if the situation remained the same, so in a great show of courage the nature god sacrificed his immortal life to give birth to all plant life on earth, at once trees began sprouting up all over the land and covered the earth from top to bottom, seeing this the mad god
Lived up to his name and started acting iratic and desperate feeling his powers weakening he tried to leave the earth and return to spiritual form but the warrior god intercepted him and drove his sword into the heart of the immortal, the god of death and destruction evaporated into nothing and was no more.

The warrior god stood Victorias and so called a meeting with the others, he dedicated the earth to the god of nature for his incredible sacrifice for the greater good, the goddess of life was to take his mantle and have dominion over all life on earth, it was at this point the first humans were born, she would be forever known as Mother Nature.. Seeing as the battle between the gods of the sun and darkness was fought to a stalemate the warrior god awarded each dominion over the earth for 12 hours, the sun god would rule for the first 12 hours of each day and the god of darkness the second 12 hours, seeing as the goddess of the moon sided with the forces of darkness she would share dominion with the god of darkness.

Before the warrior god returned to spiritual form he removed the 6 metallic bars from the top of his helmet (representing each of the gods) and scattered them across the earth with the promise that which ever human finds and unites the pieces will wield an incredible power before ascending to god hood.. This is.. Ascension 

 

 

Creation Mythology for a new story

9 years ago

Um, did you post cause you want feedback?  In the nicest way possible:

There are a lot of homophone spelling errors in this.  Baron should be barren, principle should be principal, Victorias is not a word, intwined should be entwined, iratic should be erratic.  Odd midsentence capitalizations.   Also, do you not have names for the gods yet?  Is that what the () represents?

Where did the gods come from? Their spheres are confusing- why does the god of death oppose the warrior god rather than the life god.  Why is nature separate from life/fertility?  What is the "warrior god" actually the god of? Fighting? Conflict? Why is he the boss of the other gods?

The way the story's written, the life god broke the no intervention rule first, by creating new beings, but apparently warrior god doesn't care.  Am I supposed to feel sympathetic for the deathgod?   Oh and then, the life god doesn't even take part in the battle?  She's the one who started the whole thing!

You've got some decent explanation myths, like why night/day.  But they're very stereotypical.  Light is good, dark is associated with death, death is evil.   (Also, that's nonsensical- sun god gets the first 12 hours, but then dark and moon have to share with each other?)

The thing you've put the most detail into is the description of the gods' humanoid forms.  I'd like to see that amount of attention paid to their personalities.

And I have no idea why the warrior god suddenly decided to promise that a human who finds and unites the pieces gets to ascend to godhood.  (I assume that's the plot of the game?)

Creation Mythology for a new story

9 years ago

I appreciate everything you said and you seem really intelligent you picked out some good flaws, that's the type of feedback I wanted so thanks :) 

To answer your points - the spelling issue is really bad I know I'm just not that good at writing I've only made 1 game before and my main criticism was spelling and grammar, I know it annoys a lot of people I'm sorry, trying to get better....

yes the () represents the names of the gods which I haven't thought of yet, I'm glad you worked it out.

You raise a great point on the death god, you are right he should oppose the life god but in my mind the life god is the weakest and seen as like an elderly woman figure, think of the god of death as the most powerful and needs the life god so he can destroy her creations and resurrect them in his image, the reason a lot if it isn't explained fully is because it's just too long lol, people would get bored so I just put a shorter version on here.  

And yes the last part is the plot of the game (again explained more in the full version) 

thanks man great feedback