You asked. I shall attempt to help you. I do seriously want to help you because I really do enjoy reading good stories here on this site. The main reason I stay on this site is to read stories here, stories that have choices in them. That said, I very, very strongly suggest you read each and every word in the following articles and really pay attention to them:
Captain Kiel's Rules Of Writing. Kiel has been here for awhile. He has read almost every story here. He has a featured story. He knows what he is doing. He has a few tips in the article and you should read and obey every single one without exception. Really.
Character Creation. I think this is really important, especially for a new WC story. While you, as the author and WC fan, know in your mind everything about your character, the reader DOES NOT. You need to develop the character, especially a cat character, and you need to describe the character to the reader. If you can't develop the character, the reader will not relate to the character, and the story will appear boring to the reader.
Creation of good story plot. Also another reason the WC stories have gotten a bad reputation here: the plots are thin, transparent, and predictable. You need to develop something more than "join clan, have kits, leader, die." Without conflict, genuine conflict, you have a story that no one wants to read. And if your conflict is not clear and defined, or if it is identical to other conflict, again, you create a boring story. Take a WC story that you have read (from the books) and notice how in-depth the conflict is on different levels. That's what makes a story interesting.
Storygame Creating 101. This article has a list of questions you really need to be able to answer. The more details you know about your story, the better the story will be for the reader. Remember: anything you don't write on the page the reader simply does not know.
In your specific story, here are questions you should be able to answer: Who are "you?" No, seriously. You start with "You being hidden in a bush somewhere in the forest." Who are you? What color are you? Why are you there? How did you get there? You don't absolutely have to tell the reader these answers, but you really should know them! What is the trail? Who made the trail? Why? Who is Midnight? What does Midnight look like? What are Midnight's dreams? What is her mother doing while you are in the bush? Where is your mother? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Does Midnight? And so on and so on. The more details you know about your characters and story (whether you reveal them to the reader or not), the more rich and complete your story will be.
Finally, I notice that you have only been on the site a few weeks. Take your time. Go ahead and start writing, but be sure you are planning. Plan your story. Know where it is going. Plan choices and ensure they make a difference. Read other stories on the site -- lots of them. Read the highly rated stories and read the comments people have left to see what people like and do not like in the stories.
Write, but also have fun! I do hope that helps.