There are a shit ton of unspoken rules on this website, but here are the most world-endingly important ones. Take it from me, as the owner of a shiny, glowing post count trophy, I am the expert at forum-ing, and I have obeyed these rules passionately since the very beginning.
1. If you turn down a challenge for a rap battle, the challenger owns you and all your things.
2. Never kill a monkey with your bare hands. They are innocent creatures who deserve more painless deaths, if any death at all.
3. If the monkey has rabies, kill it with anything at your disposal, but it might bite your bare hands, if you're using them...
4. New members will be viciously hazed in a ritual involving thirty dead crows, an axe for everyone, and the drunken wrath of the Sombrero committee.
5. The official dick measuring equation for this website is: (([number of user's exp points] * 2) + ([user's post count]^[the amount of published stories user has])) * [how many trophies user has] = MINE IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!
6. Conflicts are best solved by cheery song and dance numbers.
7. Don't be a twatbiting assborn fuckface.
8. AC/DC is better than anime vocaloid robots in all possible cases.
9. Beethoven is better than Justin Bieber in all possible cases.
10. Sporks are better than all other things in all possible (or impossible) cases.
11. To believe otherwise is to be a twatbiting assborn fuckface.
12. If you can drink an entire gallon of milk in one sitting, the person nearest to you is obliged to provide you with a lifetime supply of graham crackers.
13. Anyone who leaves for more than a month at a time is presumed dead.
14. If you are asked to stop swearing, you must swear twice as often, unless that person is obviously over 15 and there are serious reasons to stop.
15. If Adolf Hitler offers you cunnilingus, don't.
16. I am THE ONLY real SentinelPenguin. There are many imposters, but you mustn't trust them.
17. Stabbing randomly is not a socially acceptable practice.
18. Stabbing people for revenge is mildly acceptable, but will be entirely condoned, whether vengeance was a motive or not, if the stab-ee is incredibly racist.
19. Do not throw pumpkins at walls. Someone has to clean that shit up, and it's a horrible chore.
20. Everything that Ford says is a lie and/or completely wrong, unless he says something I agree with in order to fuck with me.
21. ISentinelPenguinI only speaks the truth, unless it's in a game of Mafia.
22. Public floggings are perfectly acceptable, as long as it's consensual and not in the way of traffic.
23. Everyone is allowed one free pass per week to suckerpunch the living shit out of Spartacusthegreat. Extra points for surprise and spontanaeity.
24. December 24th is Hawaiian Shirt Day. No exceptions.
25. The official winter Holiday in Cystia is Chanukwanzmas.
26. In order to join the local Mafia, you must have familial ties to one or more of its home countries.
27. If you are violated by tentacle monsters, you must report it at the first available opportunity, otherwise everyone else is going to think you enjoyed it.
28. Never challenge a berar to a cage match in the local tavern. You're only allowed to punch kangaroos for money.
29. If it ain't broke, don't break it.
30. If it ain't broke and you break it, the owner of the broken thing in question can and will sue you.
31. Throwing bricks through windows is a valid letter delivery technique, unless the letter is filled with hurtful words.
32. It is both illegal and immoral to fuck like a koala
