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In order to make sure there's no major mistake pattern I'm falling into, would anyone be willing to read the beginning of my story and just check and see if there's any grammatical error patterns that I'm falling into? (I.e. lots of run-ons or comma errors). You don't have to read all of it, just one or two pages so I know if there's anything I need to be looking out for as I write, and to make editing later on easier as I'll know what to pay close attention to. Thank you very much!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/subjectivism

Damn, that's one hell of a story. Shouldn't it be Dating & Romance though? From the parts I read....

I didn't read much but your writing is amazing and didn't see much mistakes AT ALL.

Good job 

I can see how you might get that impression from the first couple of pages (since I believe those are choosing your best friend and who you used to date), but trust me- romance isn't the main part of it as you go on.

Although there will be romance side-quests and you can chose an RO, you can also opt out of that completely and it won't affect the storyline in any way. (Minus a few changes in dialogue).

Thank you so much for your kind words!

Keep up the good work!

My apologies for popping in and out right quick without giving much advice on grammar improvement, but I just want to say that your story is very lovingly and descriptively written. By all means, keep up the good work!

(From what I could see, everything within the first ten pages seemed to be spelled correctly. The only thing I would suggest is being careful of punctuation usage [i.e., sometimes a colon would have worked better in place of a comma, etc.].)

That's completely fine! Thank you very much for your kind comment! Also, okay, thank you! That's good to know (not to mention I usually end up having trouble with commas, so I'll be on high alert for that, thank you!)

Wow... just wow. You have created a game where, so far, there is a mysterious element, it lasts longer than most story games, and actually doesn't really need grammar checks (as far as I know). From what I have read, this game is well on it's way to being one of the several top games. Keep it up! 

Thank you so much! I'll be sure to do my best!