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Hey, I have been trying to work on three story games so far, non of them are published, and I need some help. Anyone got any advice? ( Usually when I write story games, I try making the main character a animal, not a human.)

What, exactly, do you need help with? Do you just want general advice?

Yeah, general advice. Anything really.

K. How about... write good.

General enough?

lol

Don't do shit 

Thanks lmao.

Focus on one storygame.

Animal? Warrior Cats? Warrior Cats are banned. Keep that in mind.

Instead of animal, why not write about the tale of a knight?

That fights huge Ravens ;)

I ain't a bird. Raven is just an animal that symbolizes my nature and personality.

Warrior Cats are banned? Wow..maybe I'll write something in the perspective of a human I guess. Maybe I'll do something with animals later. Thanks.

Yep, the previous WC fans on the site beat the concept of "wearrier katz storygaemsssss!!!!" to death, and the product came out so horrible the mods decided that [link].

I love how you don't even say it, you just provide a link. lmao

1.) This should go in Writing Workshop.

2.) Learn the difference between your and you're.

3.) Stop abruptly killing the player with a single boring line for no logical reason.

Really, 'write good' was the best advice given so far. Most of the elements of writing a quality CYOA are the same as writing a regular story. Get a good handle on the basics there--proper spelling and grammar, plot, pacing, characters, dialogue-- before you worry about complicating it with paths and branches.

Usually when I make deaths I make them boring, I'll try changing that, thanks. And I always try correcting my mistakes and I Ty writing more complex words to make the story more interesting to the players.

I'm glad to see my advice re: your and you're was taken so seriously!!! :) :) :) :) :)  Rainbow your the best writer, I just love that new story of you'res!

Thanks! You literally made me smile in real-life! It's my first story game so I hoped to put some effort in it.

....yeeeah, um, hate to break it to you, but that was sarcasm. I can see you put effort into the story and you do have a detailed plot there, plus it's longer than many of the first attempts we get, but the you and you're thing is pretty bad. There are some other grammatical issues throughout that need cleaning up and tense switching and stuff, but the story is salvageable...I just don't understand why fixing punctuation and things, which is far easier than writing the story itself, is always the thing that gets neglected in these stories. 

Thanks and I had a feeling that was a joke or sarcasm. I worked on that too fast. Some people work on story games for weeks or months maybe, well the advanced ones do. I have to work harder then,  thanks. I did actually notice a few spelling and other mistakes while it was published. Maybe I was rushing to publish it to much, so I'll un publish it and I'll work on that. Thanks for you're opinion.

"Thanks for you're opinion"? *facepalm*

Yep I'm that stupid.

You... can't really be self-aware and stupid at the same time, though. Either it was a slip up, (which happens to everyone, and requires good habits and beta-reading to fix) you don't understand the difference (which means you shouldn't have understood why I pointed it out,) or you have a lousy memory--which, again, practicing good habits and beta-readers can help.

Let's not rule out Option 4, "doesn't care".

... >_> I just want to pretend that only applies to Brennon. ;_; But you're right and I'm sad about that.

Awww, Kiel. Look. You made her feel bad. Apologize.

Where is the difficulty? I can understand getting them wrong once, but you're screwing it up consistently. Just... stop saying you're. Say "Your" and "You are".