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Featuring: A Bunch of Random Garbage

In recent news:

1) Endeavour may be back. I didn't bother asking the wizard people if it's really him though. @TheFreeEndeavour

2) CYS gave a surprising amount of candid advice to some kid that is considering dropping out of school to flip burgers. Even more surprisingly, Mizal didn't even bother to tell him that asking random idiots on a hobby writing site advice for non-writing matters is a terrible idea.

3) Mars looks cool. It's also less red than you think. Do you want to go to Mars to be a space-monkey? Contact Elon Musk today!

4) Will wrote another CYS Paper. He's retiring in early April though.

5) Sabley's co-worker thinks images of Lysol on the internet are proof that Bernie Sanders is working with China to kill people and rename the United States as American China.

6) Eiwynn is still here. We might get partial custody.

7) Mizal started one of those, vote on the next choice things, in the Creative Corner.

8) Shadowdrake is proofreading stuff for LJacko.

9) You still have a month to write a story for the Infinite Story Contest.

10) As far as I am aware, End's boss still hasn't cleaned the pee van.



New Stories:

Rattler apparently wrote a homosexual version of LoveSick and was accused of plagiarism.

Another kid used CYS for a school project. However, CYS was spared from a horde invasion. Here is an excerpt:



You decide that now is not the time to investigate computer files. You need to finish with these prisoners first. You finish all the preparations, and the prisoners wake up just as you are ready to take them to their cell. They don't cause much resistance. You lock the first few in their cell. It is a small cell. The Battalion doesn't think highly of those who attempt sneak attacks. You only have two more prisoners to take to their cells. Why do you feel like something is off? "Everything okay back there?" You ask turning to face the support soldier. Except she isn't there. One of the prisoners is missing, too. "What happened!?!" You yell at the remaining prisoner. He shrugs. You quickly take him to his cell and lock him up. You then begin looking for the other inmate. It doesn't take long. "Quickly, come in!" She says. You begin to ask if she is okay, but she hushes you. "It's all good. The inmate is right here. I helped him. We need to stage a jailbreak." "Why?" You ask. You probably don't know, but the Battalion has been terrible to their prisoners. I don't mean Onguard members, but races from other planets. They are horribly beaten and starved. We need to stop it! Please help me." Your mind is racing. There is no way that is true, right? You decide to find out. You, the support soldier, and the prisoner and disguise all go to the lower levels of the prison, in which you have never been. Sure enough, hundreds of beaten, starving people from other planets are lying on the ground in cells, shivering through their ragged clothing. You are shocked that this has been going on, and a fuel to stop ignites in your body. "Alright, let's do this." You use your keys to free some of the Onguard prisoners who are skilled with weapons while your comrade arms them. You then sweep down to the lower levels, freeing the starving people and helping them to escape. You don't want to leave until you know everyone is safe, so you decide to run away with the former prisoners. "Are you coming?" You ask your fellow soldier. "I need to stay. There are more prisons out there. Stun blast me." "What?" "They'll execute me if they find out I helped. If you blast me it'll seem like I tried to defend but couldn't." You follow her directions. Then you catch up to the rest of the prisoners. You find a save home for them and pray that this stays true.



What a beautiful wall of text. Clearly, his English teachers have failed him in explaining how to format dialogue and paragraphs.



On the Discord Front:

Mizal bulldozed her way through an unnecessarily animated discussion on food. However, in the end, everyone was able to agree that Bucky, Ogre, and Sabley were not going to take Mizal's frozen blueberries. Also, Bucky, Ogre, and Sabley do not think Mizal is a bad person for liking frozen blueberries. However, allegedly, a Dane may think Mizal is the antichrist for ... well, that part wasn't exactly clear, but it probably had something to do with frozen blueberries.

Mara asked for help in restructuring one of her story endings where you allegedly decide to either sleep in warrior cat form or morph into something less furry. If you chose wrong, you get bitten by a poisonous snake in your sleep. CYS citizens did something productive and provided constructive feedback. Top suggestions included better foreshadowing of the snake and writing the previous scene so that the reader could make an informed decision when making a choice.

Everyone give a big hand to Mara for: 1) Actually writing things, 2) Showing dramatic improvement in English, and 3) learning what "give a big hand to" means.

Let's give a big hand to Mara.



World News:

Men are talking to Spanish women about seed.

Crazy people have looted the stores of hand sanitizer. Some hand sanitizer vendors have allegedly raised the price up to $80. Those vendors are getting yelled at by the big bad government and threatened with things.

Joe Biden has decided he's not actually running for the Senate - but rather for the office of President.

Bernie Sanders probably burst a blood vessel after Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren dropped out of the race after Super Tuesday.

Tulsi Gabbard continues to run for President, probably figuring that Biden and Sanders are old and could die before the actual election. Tulsi also amusingly called Warren a fake indian. Her precise words: "fake indigenous woman of color."

President Trump wore a hat.

A gang of hooligans mugged a 15-year-old girl in NY and stole a bank card, her phone, and her shoes.



Fake News Interview with 'The Corpse of a Warrior Cat Account Holder':

What do you do these days?

Well, I write Warriorcat fan-fiction on about three other sites and cry when people criticize me.

I see your taste in literature and your personality have not improved any. But has your writing?

My writing was always perfect. It's very rude to say that it wasn't. Why are you attacking me?

I'm terribly sorry. Let's change topics. Who do you support for President?

It's a tough call between Fidel Castro and Joseph Stalin. They were both very misunderstood.

You're in college now, aren't you?

Yes, I took out $150,000 in student loans because the communist revolution will make them go away soon. Also, it's not real money because it's not in paper. If the money isn't that green paper, then it's not real, so it's not like I'm actually in debt. You know how Trump always talks about Fake News? Student loans are like fake money. Also, news is never fake - unless I disagree with it.

Interesting. How are your classes going?

Well, they'll probably all get shut down because of the C-Virus. That stands for China right? The China-Virus? Anyway, they were going great, I had straight A's until my English professor attacked me. I borrowed a few lines from another source, and the professor had the audacity of accusing me of plagiarism. I felt attacked. And I told him so. They I went to the crying closet, and after I had a good cry, I complained to the dean. I also felt like the professor was too aggressive with his knowledge of English. Just because he has a Ph.D and published research articles and interactive fiction stories doesn't make him better than me!

Did you try to bribe him with your body?

No. Do you think I should have? And that's offensive. I think. I'm not sure. I'm a panda.

I think that's all I need. Good luck with that bamboo deforestation.

I blame Trump, dogs, Boomers, and Texas.



In the alleged next edition ...

We will do an allegedly REAL NEWS interview with EndMaster; (or a fake news interview with [spoiler redacted]).

My mental translation of Big hand of you proposing have gay sex it was far more epic than the real one. Great newsletter

I promise to attempt a little more maturity than before. I can't help but roll my eyes at my previous account.

Oh so it is you.

Your exp page just gave me a chuckle.



I think I'd have abandoned that account too.

I'm still not sure why I never got around to banning him. Fool's luck I guess.

We'll see if this fool's luck continues to hold out with his new account.

EDIT: Banned his old account, but he unlocked an achievement!

http://chooseyourstory.com/member/?Username=Endeavour

"Eiwynn is still here. We might get partial custody. "

The fear of the unknown is something aweful, isn't it?

Yes I was politely not going to say anything, so thanks for pointing that out. And this is without even getting into bimonthly Canning Debates.

Do farmers even exist who are like NO THANK YOU I PREFER ALL MY WORK TO ROT?

Only those from New York City.

No one was against canning or frozen fruit. That's exactly why the entire conversation was stupid. Except maybe the Dane. (Yes, he's a Dane in this canon now.)

I know you weren't around till afterwards, but this is what started the whole discussion:





He then tagged you in to explain to me what "Farm Fresh" was, and when you arrived your answer was, "a meaningless buzz word". lol

My point in the whole thing was just wanting an explanation for why what all farmers do--growing food and then freezing and preserving it while fresh--somehow became the inferior eating choice if they then made it available somewhere and someone bought it. And also there's of course the fact that freezing and canning improves or is actually necessary for certain foods, although we didn't really get much further than what was posted there. This time.

Of course anyone who pays attention on the server knows that this has been a recurring argument that's usually you, Cricket, me, and Mara with experience and actual science facts on our side against some random hipster fucktard, but this time it was me having to stand alone against the Boomer Brigade and their mansplaining.

Glad you made this post that we can now point tragically incorrect people to in the future, and nice to get some actual discussion of this on the forum where others might weigh in. I tried to get this exact conversation going last time it came up back in January with a forum poll to get the Euro viewpoint, but Enter pussed out completely and so only Mara replied.

Had to look that up, that is a big ass tomato.

I was not talking about the commercial branding “farm fresh” - all those branding are garbage.

That’s not why I tagged Sabley. And I wasn’t talking about the garbage “farm fresh” tag they put on stuff in the grocery store. I was talking about - for example - grilling corn the same day it comes off the stalk vs. the trash corn in the grocery store or grocery freezer or grocery can of corn.

This was a minor tangent from the very narrow point - that if you have the choice between eating something the day it’s picked, or at some point, possibly months in the future, after being frozen, the day it’s picked route is the way to go. At no point did I say preserving things was bad - other than it won’t taste as good as day it’s picked food.

You "think" I was asking you to explain what farm fresh means. I promise you, my sole intent on tagging you was for your opinion on whether you would rather eat something the day it was picked or after it was frozen and de-thawed. I believe you agreed with that sentiment - in the general sense. Obviously this wouldn't apply to every food item either.

Apparently I did say, "define: farm fresh" - that is my fault for poor word choice. I did not mean that literally or in the marketing meaning of the term.

The quotation marks are not meant to be snarky, just emphasis. My entire position was either misinterpreted or misconstrued in the Discord - and apparently here as well. However, I can see how I contributed to this confusion with poor wording.

I was not talking about nutrition or preservatives or anything along those lines. I had two, very narrow points. Boiled down to the very base: 1) An ear of grilled corn, pepper, etc. will taste better the day it is picked than at some point in the future after being picked, shipped, frozen, shipped some more, and eventually de-thawed and eaten - and that is not an attack on freezing food to preserve it, and; 2) Boiling apple cider to kill bacteria seems unnecessary (even if you wash an apple before you eat it, you're not washing the inside or the juice). Those were the very narrow things I was saying. Why Mizal took that as an attack on food preservation techniques in general or milk pasteurization is absolutely beyond me, and I am genuinely confused.

I wasn't even trying to advocate that people should buy food at a farmer's market. I did not think the concept of eating something closest to the date it was picked will give it the best taste was a controversial topic.

I don't have any problem with canning. Heck, I can tomato sauce.

At no point, did I intend for the words "farm fresh" to be taken in the context of package labeling. My choice of words was perhaps poor. The marketing angle of the term was not in my mind at the slightest when I used it.

"There is nothing wrong with you preferring fresh picked over frozen."

I agree. I agree with the inverse as well. Which is why the entire conversation was stupid ^_^

Though, I can say I have never had a good ear of corn from a grocery store.

Of all the examples possible, you picked corn?

Yeah. It's the only vegetable that I actually refuse to buy from the store. At least, on the cob. I don't like the canned corn much either, but it's convenient for chili - I use it primarily to add color.

I thought it was weird because corn is one of things that's easy to find *actually* fresh and local in a store when it's in season, and holds up so well in taste and texture to any kind of preservation.

But then again I don't know what kind of shit tier groceries you have access to, so all this stuff can vary area by area obviously.

Not sure where Bucky is from, but I can attest that in the Midwest there are times where buying corn on the cob is a bad idea. Corn holds up well when preserved, and I have no issue with canned corn (unless it is creamed corn, what is creamed corn even on the shelf for?). However, during some of our long winters fresh veggies don't exist here. You can buy corn year round, and you can eat what you buy in the summer. Anything I have bought during the winter in a plastic wrap has not been as good as the stuff that's still in the husk in the summer.

*disclaimer- this is not meant to start a war between some opposing party that loves corn on the cob imported during a Midwest winter. I also did not read everything, just Bucky and Mizal's last post.*

I haven't read it all, but I love to cook! I'll probably go back and read it for tips on buying good produce. I currently do the "guess and check" method by brand. I assume that is not as good as knowing real information...

Also, I hate the taste of creamed corn by itself. Since posting that, I was reminded that it is used in things I like (like corn bread, I think); however, I have never used cream corn for anything I have made. So that opinion is factually wrong but accurate to me. 

Thanks Sabley!

I'd just buy a bag of frozen corn over the "fresh" ears in the winter, it's cheaper and generally tastes better and I don't place any special value on the presence of the cob.

In season though you can buy it still in the husk in any store and it's as fresh as if you'd gone out and picked it yourself. Going to one of those pick your own farms was by far the least hellish of the family summer traditions and something I don't mind doing still if I get invited, but by July it's also in gigantic bins in HEB and Walmart at just ten cents an ear.

Canned cream corn exists to be dumped into cornbread and....that's it really.

Actually I have to give that one to the "farm fresh" fanatics, I only ever eat creamed corn I make myself and it has all that [REDACTED SO THAT MARA DOESN'T MAKE IT IMPURE] that comes out when you scrape the cob with the back of a knife. Which tbf I've never attempted with frozen ears, it's usually just a way to get rid of an excess of the fresh ones. Canned creamed corn tastes nothing like the way we always made it though. (It is entirely possible what we make isn't really creamed corn anyway, it's thicker and stickier for one thing.)

Hmm, I wonder what was redacted since you left some good ammo near the end...

it's thicker and stickier for one thing.

I will not touch that though. Picking corn was also a summer favorite of mine with my family. Never made my own creamed corn, never will. The canned and frozen bags are both good options if you just want some corn. Just check the cans to make sure you are getting what you intended to buy, unlike me a week ago.

on a related note, anytime I am still salty about something it appears on the forum in an intense discussion. Who is the spy?

^_^

I don't know how many people are reading these because reading is hard, but just wanting you to know that I am and I appreciate the contributions from what is probably the only active member who can speak knowledgeably about this stuff.

I found it fascinating because I come from ancestors upon the ancestors of Small farmers in Galicia. And they didn't want to eat fruit or vegetables just picked up. They normally waited for the perfect mature moment to eat the stuff. To the point, my grandmother and her sister just frozen the peas one month before eating them because the variety was tasty but hard to cook. and frozen make faster the boiling.

The only people obsessed with FRESH DIRECT FROM THE MUD is hippies and hipsters that haven't seen a farm in their lives.

You've mentioned your grandma before, she sounded like a pretty cool old lady. Is this the one the house you're moving into?

Also, Sabley can I link that article you showed me here, or is that too doxxy?

My grandmother was the most badass tought Old lady in history, she raised me with my dad. She died of terminal cancer in 2014 she survived more years than any doctor expected due her iron will. She survived Spanish civil war famine and several big epidemics. Working with her mother alone in the middle of a war to maintain another 3 small siblings.

She worked on the land and tend animals until last years. Without bullshit or whining about it. Except against lettuces. Her great nemesis.

We call people of that age the Greatest Generation around here, it really is amazing what they went through. And instead of whining about it they realized they were the only ones that could improve things and then actually did it. I don't think most people realize how many good things we all have now that goes directly back to the work they put in.

Interesting to see my name popping up in this article. Can not remember you asked me anything. Which I guess means that Shadowdrake told you. Anyways it is nice to see how well informed you are about what is happening on this site.

Shadow posted in your thread.

Been awhile since Bucky was referred to as "well informed about the site", but he's been improving a bunch since End told him he was boring now. It was a much needed intervention.

Did not even see that. Well whatever not like I mind.

I also randomly saw my name here. I didn't read everything, and I haven't been keeping up with everything on the site, but I thought it was strange that proofreading is news worthy. There must be a lot of stories going up before the author gets a chance to fix their grammar. Glad to have been mentioned though, thanks Bucky!

I don't really understand what's newsworthy anymore, this is why we need more people writing newsletters until we figure out who is best.

Well I guess the Discord section will be missing from Bucky's next newsletter.