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Escape the Dark Castle

Wherever you go, there you are...

You wake up once again in your cell.

You have no idea how long you’ve been here, but it feels like forever. And who knows, maybe at this point it is.

You don’t even know how or why you’re in this terrible place.

Maybe this is hell. It certainly feels that way.

You have brief visions that you’ve died. Sometimes very horribly, but yet here you are breathing. The air you’re breathing isn’t great filled with the scent of who knows what, but you’re still breathing.

You glance and find that you’re not alone. Three others are here in the cell with. They’re all a motley bunch looking as dirty and ill kept as you probably look right now. Somehow some of them seem familiar but then you can’t remember much anymore everything is always a blur now.

“Don’t I know you?”

In any case, after a brief moment of talking, someone notices that the cell door is slightly ajar. Your captors forgot to shut it properly.

Wasting no time the four of you leave the cell…

A glimmer of hope?

Having found the rumored secret passage, you now have one less encounter for your escape.

The only thing of note in the passage is a lone barrel with something inside it.

You’ve found:

1 Liquid Luck: Discard to re-roll your character die and apply that result

In addition to this loot, your incarceration in this place has resulted in some interesting character trait that may come in useful ONCE per game:

Bishop - Skeptical:  After receiving item cards you may discard any number of them and draw replacements.

Hunter - Numb: Whenever you would lose 3 or more HP from a single source, you lose 1 HP instead.

Mason - Gullible: Whenever you rest, restore 2 HP to your character and 1 HP to another character of your choice.

Miller - Ruthless: You may attack twice in a single round of combat.

Decide who gets the potion and pick the person to lead the group for the next encounter.

Too bad Cel didn't want to play after all, just realized that the Mason looks a lot like him IRL

Bishop Brand wipes the perspiration off his forehead with the back of his meaty hand, and leans back against the barrel, catching his breath.

He eyes his companions, and mutters a prayer under his breath. He will let someone else lead the group, this time.

"Hey bishop, how does a fella like you get so fat while we're all starving?" He licks his lips. "Got some kebabbed rats hiding up under your sleeves?"

Miller runs a dry, cracked tongue over his dry, cracked lips.  He seems jittery and out of sorts.  "Had a strange dream. You know, the one we are all having in this cursed place no doubt." He nods knowingly to the other two. "The one about the penis falling off."

Miller would wring his hands together. "I'll go first if you gimme some of that potion. What it do?"

 

 

 

Are We the Real Zombies?

The Miller waited for an answer by his other two cellmates, but the pair of them looked to be in a daze. Seeing that there was no objection, the Miller took the Liquid Luck potion and decided to lead the way.

The Bishop wasn't sure about all this, but decided that he couldn't in good conscence just leave people behind so he gently nudged them along. Surprisingly they did seem to walk in the direction they were being lead, but it was all very strange.

The group proceeded down the passage which increasely began to smell worse and worse. While the Millet and the dazed members didn't seem to notice, the Bishop certainly did. Though even the Miller had to pay attention when there was a noise coming from beneath their very feet.

"I dunno, there might not be any brains here."

This was a horde so there was no decision to be made except to try to run past them before more popped up. This might have been easier if two of the members weren't in some sort of stupor. The Bishop tried the best he could to lead them, but the Mason got a nasty wound on his leg during the process.

The Miller also suffered a few wounds, but that was mostly because he was making a game out of the entire event as if he was playing some bizarre version of hop scotch.

Mason lost 2 HP

Miller lost 2 HP

Decide on who is leading the way for the next encounter.

Mason shakes his head, suddenly coming out of his stupor. "Ouch. Don't think I should lead, at least this time. Someone... not injured is probably a better choice."

Growing increasingly concerned with Miller's sanity, the Bishop decides that he will lead the way this encounter.

The Hunter is happy to let the Bishop take the lead, but follows close behind, terrified those corpses might catch up. He did not like the unnatural lust in their hollow eyes when they looked at him. So far in his life, he had never served as a corpse's prison bitch and he planned to keep it that way.

The Hunter suddenly announces, "HELLO! I am the Hunter! That's me! The Hunter! Definitely not Celicni. Me! Now... Excuse me while I take a look around."

Grave Slinger

With the zombie horde seemingly cured everyone of their daze, the group continued on with the Bishop taking the lead, especially since the Miller now seemed to be acting erratically, then again he was acting that way from the start.

The group followed the dimly lit passages and rooms. Things seemed fairly empty, but no matter how alert one is, there's always something unseen lurking in the dark areas.

"Fucking escapees! You assholes are going to lead the guards right here!"

Bishop lost 1 HP

After removing the small spiked ball from his head, the Bishop was helped to his feet. The grave robber was gone having run off before he could grab the contents from within the forced open tomb nearby.

Someone can take the spoils (Draw 1 item card) or just move on and pick who is going to lead next.

"Hmm," the Hunter murmers as he peaks into the open tomb, seeing if there are any goodies to be found. "Well this certainly looks like a... Grave situation." ... Get it? ... Grave? ... Get it?

Bishop shrugs off the Hunter's awful pun and reaches into the tomb himself, hoping that whatever was in there was worth taking a ball to the head.

"Uhh..." The Hunter mumbles as he moves to block the Bishops way. "No. No, no, no. I got here first. I am searching the tomb for goodies. The fact that I am searching the tomb for goodies implies that if there are goodies in the tomb, I will see said goodies and take said goodies. You can't just reach past me and snatch my goodies. Not very Christian of you at all. Why don't you take that spikey ball thing that hit you in the head? That would probably work as a helpful weapon."

Miller will shove the Hunter out of Bishops way. "You ain't done shit this whole time, Bishop and I took all the risk dragging you through the hollow heads. Now you want to suddenly step in when it's time for the loot. He picks up the discarded spike. 

 

"You can either get outta the good Bishops way here, or chew on this spike."

 

"If you wanna earn some loot you're gonna have to take  point. Way I see it is you owe us taking the lead the next couple of times."

As much as the Hunter wanted to shove the Miller back, the Hunter considered that the Miller had three little lines next to the picture of the fist, while he only had one, so it probably wasn't a very good idea. Looked like he was going to have to surrender the loot to the Bishop after all.

As the Miller waved the spiked ball in front of his face, the Hunter held out his hand. "Hey, can I keep that?" he asked. "That's the closest thing we have to a weapon down here and me being a hunter and all, I'd almost certainly have the best aim if we came across something we wanted to throw it at."

"As for taking the lead," he said considering. "How about we see what our good friend the Bishop finds in that tomb first? Seems to me that if there's a real weapon in there. A sword or axe or something more than a spikey ball, then whoever has the weapon should be the one to take the lead. If he finds something that isn't a weapon, I guess I'll just have to defend you all as best I can with our spikey friend here."

Doubting Thomas

After the brief scuffle between the Miller and Hunter. The Bishop went to get the contents within the tomb.

The first thing that caught his eye was the sword. It was so shiny that it looked like it had been sitting in some king's armory and regularly taken care of as opposed to laying in some tomb for who knows how long. Looked sharp too, surely such a weapon would come in very handy against the horrors of this place.

And yet as the Bishop's hand went towards the sword, a nagging sensation in his head told him not to.

No, it was too good to be true.

The Bishop's eyes wandered over to the other item on the corpse and took that instead with no ill effects.

Rotten Shield: Whenever you would lose HP, reduce the amount by one. (To a minimum of 1)

Bishop has lost the skeptical trait

(This just saved you from a curse)

Pick who is going to take the lead next.

If the Hunter had known that the Miller had unintentionally saved him from being cursed, he would have probably thanked him. Instead, he just raised an eyebrow at the rotten shield. "Oh... Lovely," he complimented the Bishop's new treaure. Well, the thing looked like it would crumble at the merest splinter, so he wasn't too envious. Unfortunately the shield couldn't really be considered a weapon, so that meant he would be taking the lead next. "Well, a deal's a deal. On we go," the Hunter declared, carefully taking the spikey ball (assuming the Miller has no objections) and, keeping an eye out for traps, leading the way.

Do Not Touch the Display

The Hunter lead the way though somewhat nervously seeing as he wasn't as big as the Mason or as crazy as the Miller. He didn't even have a shield like the Bishop. Given what he'd already seen in this place, he was going to need something more than just his fists to have a fighting chance.

It wasn't long before the Hunter thought he saw that chance. A full set of armor and a sword on display. The Hunter immediately went over to investigate.

CLANK CLANK CLANK

There was nothing to do except fight, in fact the Hunter was so terrified he couldn't even defend himself properly the entire time.

The group had a difficult time with the animated armor, after all there was nobody inside to actually kill, they just had to damage it enough that it wouldn't be able to function anymore. No small feat and all of them took their lumps, some more than others. It was sheer determination and a little luck that resulted in triumph.

Miller lost Liquid Luck

Miller lost 2 HP

Mason lost 4 HP

Bishop lost 2 HP

Hunter lost 4 HP

The only thing that was found was in the boot of the damaged armor of all places.

Brew of Might: Discard to apply a single MIGHT at any time

Decide who gets it and pick the next to lead the group.

Hold up, does my numbness not come into play here?

He was only doing 2 damage per combat round. If he did 3 or more per combat round, I would have used it to mitigate some of the damage.

Oh, fair enough... Also, are we allowed to pick up stuff that is not listed as an "item" like the spikey ball?

You can take the spikey ball for roleplay purposes, but it generally isn't going to do anything seeing as it wasn't an item card.

Awh. Shame. I'll just have to find somewhere to shove it.

Funny enough I had to redo this encounter a couple times because the first time I misread the special ability the armor had.

Basically it wouldn't let you block damage and I initially took that as ALL the party members, which resulted in most of the party getting so severely fucked up that I had to actually have everyone except the Bishop stop fighting to rest so they wouldn't die.

But then I realized that special only applied to the leader of the group. So I redid the whole combat.

However in that case, I made the mistake of thinking it was the Bishop that was the leader the entire time. Granted this didn't matter much since his shield always protected him a little. Everyone else could block as normal which didn't do much to help the Mason who failed to block at all, but it did help the Hunter and Miller.

And then that's when I realized it was the Hunter that was leading. I didn't really need to redo the battle though, I just remembered how many times the Armor hit everyone and subtracted the appropriate amount of HP from the Hunter who wasn't supposed to be able to block. (And the Bishop hadn't blocked anyway so he still lost HP as well)

Basically it could have been a lot worse for everyone and if the Hunter hadn't taken the lead he would have came out completely unharmed.

God damn it! Should've told the Miller to fuck off and used fatty as a human shield! >.<

"Right," the Hunter said as he looked down at the brew of might, considering. It could be useful... But... If somebody else was using it, it could potentially be even more useful. "Now, my thinking here is that, with me and Father Pudgey over there not having an ounce of muscle between us," he said, gesturing to the Bishop. "This here potion wouldn't do us much good. It would be best used on either the Mason or the Miller. Question is, do we give it to the Miller and have two average fighters defending our little party, or do we give it to the Mason and use him as a human tank? Thoughts? I vote the Mason." He decided, thinking that between the Mason and the Miller, the Mason was less likely to go crazy and start attacking the party.

"Also, no way am I taking the lead after what happened with our shiny friend there." He said firmly, pointing to the damaged armor on the ground. "That bloody hurt, it did. I'm voting for Father Pudgey. At least he has a shield to defend himself with. Plus, of the four of us, he looks the least worse for wear after our little scrap."

Bishop stands solemnly over the crumpled armor-spirit, and mutters some unintelligible words. Trying to look as deft and heroic as possible, he hefts his rotten shield and nods towards the hunter, taking the lead.

As he passes the Miller, he shies away a little bit. A fearless, gutsy little bit.

"I also vote for me to have it." Because I would never, never go rogue ever... 

Alright Briar wrote a lot of words up there, everyone seems to be doing their own thing and Corgi seems to be missing this round, so going to just rule Fresh took the potion and Corgi started wandering off which resulted in everyone following (He's leading the group) just to keep this moving.

Jailbreak

The Miller lead the group in the chaotic way that he did. Most in the group weren't really keen on following him, but they all figured it probably would be safer for him to be the first one that meets any danger.

It didn't take long for that to happen.

"Outta my way dickheads!"

The Miller was taken so off guard that he wasn't able to dodge the shackle the prisoner was swinging. He caught it across the head before the rest of the group rushed in to help.

This mad prisoner however was obviously no stranger to the dangers within this place and was very adept with the shackle he was using as a weapon. Several in the group were struck to the point where the Mason and the Miller had to step back to rest before they met a more permanent one.

Eventually the prisoner fell when his own head was bashed in by the Bishop's shield, but this was a very costly fight.

Miller lost 5 HP

Mason lost 2 HP

Bishop lost 1 HP

Hunter lost 4 HP

As bad as this was, there was a small upside.

The prisoner for some baffling reason had a GOLDEN AXE carried on his back. Why he wasn't using this as a weapon, you'll never know (Perhaps he was just more comfortable beating folks with his shackles, certainly was doing a good enough job on you lot) but it's now yours for the taking.

Golden Axe: Two Handed weapon. Adds an extra special die in combat.

Decide who gets it and pick who leads for the next encounter.

Damn it! 2 damage per combat round again?

Yep, and Corgi got his brains bashed in when the guy first busted down the door.

What exactly is a special die?

It's an extra die for the Golden Axe. Gives a chance cause more damage.

Of course there's a potential negative roll too on it, but that's to be expected in this game.

Bishop Brand shakes the mashed brain matter and blood off his shield proudly, before turning his gaze back to the group. Momentarily, a hint of self-satisfaction sneaks its way onto his chubby face as he takes note of how badly the others seemed to fare. Very quickly, it is replaced with the solemn expression that the bishop usually carries.

He leaves the golden axe for someone else. Clearly, they need it.

The Hunter groaned as he rubbed the back of his head where the crazy prisoner had attacked him. How did this keep happening? He tried his best to avoid combat, and yet everybody seemed to want to kill him. As he looked at the golden axe on the ground, an idea struck him. "Okay, I have a proposition for you all... Whoever gets the axe takes the lead... Not it!" No way was he lugging that heavy thing around just so he could get his skull smashed in before he even had time to swing it.

The Hunter looked back and forth between the Miller and the Mason, expecting one of them to pick up the axe... Neither moved. He then turned to the Bishop with a rather concerned look on his face. He was starting to think that all the stress of being constantly attacked by undead hordes, living armour and crazy people had left the Miller and the Mason a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Looks like he and the Bishop were the only ones left with a grain of sanity between them and the Bishop didn't look like he was in any hurry to pick up the axe. If somebody didn't pick it up before one of their brain dead companions decided to wonder off again, it was going to get left behind.

"Okay, new plan!" the Hunter announced, reaching down to pick up the axe, groaning at the weight of it. This was not a good idea. "I will hold this thing. If either of you two want it, you can take it. If not, I'll hold on to it and... Wait for one of you two to shuffle off in a random direction so that I don't need to take the lead."

Miller would offer to take the axe since he could use it well.

The Miller let's out a throaty groan, slowly shifting and putting a hand to his blood matted hair. "Hurr hurr," he gives a largely toothless smile as he looks at the brain matter on his finger. "Got hit purdy hard, harr harr."

 

He slowly shifts, pulling himself up. And shakes his head. "I'm alive?" He stares about in confusion. 

Alright, Corgi took the axe and is taking the lead again from what I can see.

Yeee

Bataclysm

With the new shiny GOLDEN AXE in hand, the Miller lead the way proudly as if he was in some sort of parade. The shine of axe was a concern by the rest of the group who thought it might attract attention given how the Miller was holding it in the air.

However it wouldn't have mattered with the next struggle in this gauntlet of horrors anyway.

Just be glad it wasn't a Beeclipse

The group had no choice but to simply try to cover their heads the best they could and run through the swarm. Except for the Miller who foolishly was waving his axe around in a futile attempt to fight it.

Despite the Bishop having a shield, one bat managed to fly right into his face, scratching and biting before he got it off him. Only the Hunter and Mason somehow managed to avoid getting hurt.

Bishop lost 1 HP

Miller lost 2 HP

Decide who is going to lead next.

The Hunter, of course, had spent the entire encounter crouched low with his hands over his head, waiting for the bats to fly away. When he lifted his head, he was surprisingly still alive. The Miller, on the other hand, looked like he had one foot in the grave. "God damn, you don't look so good," the hunter said, concerned. "Maybe you should let the Mason carry that sword for a bit? Huh? Have yourself a little rest?" That said, the Mason didn't look like he was doing too well neither. And the Hunter didn't feel so good himself. In fact, the only one in the group who didn't look like he was about to keel over and die at any moment was...

"Hey father, that shield seems to be serving you well... Or maybe it's the hand of God shielding you? Either way, how about you be a good Christian and help out the less fortunate by taking the lead next time?" If anybody else took the lead, the Hunter doubted they'd survive.

"It's an axe." The Miller stared in disbelief. And KEEPS the axe but goes to the back of the line. "Someone else's turn."

The Hunter blinked a couple of times. "Huh?" he asked, looking at the axe. "... Oh yeah. So it is." What was wrong with him? Maybe he'd been hit over the head one too many times with the crazy prisoner's shackles. "You know what, in that case, I think I'm going to take a rest. Must need one if I can't tell the bloody difference between a sword and an axe."

"The hand of God, indeed," Brand replies, looking down at his trusty shield. "I will take the lead this time."

Soul Toll

The Bishop lead the way seeing as he was in a lot better condition than his fellows. While he hoped they would all make it out of here, he had doubts that any of them would. He tried to keep the faith, but this place just continued to drain all hope.

What he saw ahead wasn't encouraging either.

"Won't take but a minute, I'll just nip inside you and take a peek!"

The Gatekeeper won't let you pass unless he inspects your soul first. You'll have to pass a WISDOM check if you allow this.

If you refuse, the Gatekeeper will still allow you through, but he'll require a blood sacrifice instead.

Make your choice.

Bishop has always been a devout man of the Lord, and had no doubts in the purity of his soul. He will step up first to be inspected.

Does the gate keeper need to inspect all our souls or just one?

All of them so everyone line up. Your soul or blood.

"Oh bollocks!" Groaned the Hunter whose soul was far from pure. "Nope, not going to happen. You don't want to see whats in my soul, trust me." Looks like he would have to pay the blood toll... Damn. He was quickly running out of blood to spare.

Miller will have his soul inspected but drink the liquor luck potion before hand.

*liquid 

You're only carrying the axe, you don't have anything else currently.

Oddly Darius who is also carrying an axe seemed to also be under the delusion that he was carrying items he didn't have recently.

I don't have enough health to give blood at this point. Wisdom check it is

@fresh_out_the_oven

@corgi213

You're up.

Soul Crushing

The Bishop stepped up first believing he was surely worthy, but perhaps that prideful thinking is what caused him to experience a painful sensation all throughout his body, like his very soul was being assaulted. Nevertheless he recovered and the Gatekeeper allowed him to pass.

The Hunter who knew he was certainly unworthy decided to go with a blood sacrifice. Cutting deep into his leg, he smeared blood on the side of the wall by the entryway and was waved through by the Gatekeeper.

The Mason humbly stepped forward and after a brief moment, the Gatekeeper allowed him to pass with no ill effect.

Finally the Miller stepped forward. The man was always a bit off kilter since he got out of the cell. In fact sometimes it seemed like he already had one foot in the grave and the other in hell. This moment however determined where both feet would be.

The Miller suddenly went completely pale and look of shock spread across his face, then horror as he dropped to the floor dead.

"That will be all today, on your way." the Gatekeeper said.

Bishop lost 2 HP

Hunter lost 1 HP

The Miller

Soul obliterated by the Gatekeeper

Survival Time: 6 Encounters

Pick who will lead next.

Question, now that the Miller is dead, is the axe up for grabs?

Unfortunately his body is on the other side of the Gatekeeper who isn't letting anyone pass back again so you can't grab it.

Waa! >.<

Can I get a stat update please? ^_^

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," the Hunter groans with each step as he hobbled through the gate. Surprisingly, it turned out that the Bishop got off even worse than he had. "Bloody hell, what happened there?" he asked. "Could it be that the good Bishop isn't so pure after all? What's your vice father? Drinking too much of the communion wine? Gorging yourself on the body of Christ?"

Shortly after, the Mason passed through the gate, seemingly without any trouble. "Well, well. Looks like our quiet Mason is all squared up with the man upstairs. Blessed are the meek and all that."

The Miller on the other hand... He didn't seem to fair so well. From the other side of the gate, the Hunter could only stare dumbly at the Miller's lifeless corpse. "Oh, bugger!" he groaned, sounding extremely frustrated. "... I could've sold that axe." And no doubt it would've earned a pretty penny too.

Turning back to the Bishop and the Mason, it seemed that, despite the Bishop's little mishap with the gatekeeper, he was still in the best shape of the three of them. And while all three were in a similar condition, the Hunter himself was the worst for wear. "Well, since I didn't manage to get that rest after all, I think I'll take it now if it's all the same to you... You've not taken point in awhile Mason, how'd you feel about taking one for the team?"

Lmao

That's about as funny as if the Hunter face palmed like "He owed me five bucks!"

 

Lol good luck guys, have fun with the rest. I will be watching

(Accidentally responded twice. Sigh)

"Who's the holy one now, bishop? Ha!" The mason turns to acknowledge the Hunter. "I'll take point, sure."

The Miller falls almost casually, laying there with his arms and legs sprawled out. As the Hunter looks upon the wze gleaming in the light. She sees the Miller's hand tighten up Jewishly with rigor mortis. A satisfied gleam in his cold, dead eyes. Then you guys hear the longest shart as the legs shake up and then the body twists and rolls to the side.

"HMM! AHHH!" He suddenly yells and then lays still 

... Thanks for the parting gift. >.<

Lol

 

I'm sure you guys will be fine without the crust encrusted axe

Impressive that Corgi not only was the first one to die in any group again but he completely deprived his own group of a very useful weapon from a special expansion for the game that he never even got to use.

Bishop shrugs off the side comments from the mason and hunter, and tries to recite a prayer for the fallen Miller.

Tries, that is. A few words in the smell (that somehow passed through the gate) hits him, and he gags uncontrollably. He decides that a few words are enough.

Team Secundus Current Stats

Bishop

5 HP

Rotten Shield

Hunter

3 HP

Numb Character Trait

Mason

4 HP

Potion of Might

Gullible Character Trait

Yeah, we're fucked. >.<

Oh yeah, I forgot about the gullible character trait. Maybe the Mason should rest next turn instead of me. That way we'd recover 3 HP as a team instead of just 1... Though he should probably hand over the Potion of Might in case one of us needs it.

@fresh_out_the_oven how would you feel about handing the potion of might over to me, taking a rest next turn and giving me the extra HP?

I'm not sure if people who are resting are allowed to lead, but if they're not then I'd be up for leading this round.

You go on and lead. You can have the potion

Drowned

The Hunter lead the way, though very cautiously given the group's condition. Nobody was in great shape and now they were down one person.

Things looked grim and as tired as they all were it would be very easy to just lay down and give up, but that wasn't an option. The group moved on to inspect this well they just stumbled on, maybe they could get a drink at least to refresh themselves...

"Hey get outta of my house!"

The first thing the water weird did was completely incapacitate the Hunter who had been the first one to look down the well. That might have been the end for him right there had it not been for the Mason who stepped back to take a rest and assist the Hunter as well.

When the two were somewhat able to stand and fight, they moved in to assist the Bishop who despite having a shield to block the creature wasn't fairing well against it.

The Hunter and Mason at one point had to once again step back from the battle which wasn't going well and it was apparent that they couldn't just afford to rest while the Bishop was slowly drowned since they would undoubtedly be next and they didn't have the strength to last very long against it either.

This was a big gamble, they all had to fight now if they had any chance at all.

The water weird was hurt by the last assault by the group, but it was not enough. The water weird retaliated, drowning the Mason and the Hunter at the same time. They struggled to breathe, turned blue and lost consciousness forever.

The Bishop had managed to survive thanks once again to his shield, but eventually the rotten wood gave way to the water weird's attacks and eventually he too was engulfed by the creature. Struggling to breathe, his last thoughts were of how there was no god as he made an unintelligible curse at his deity as water filled his lungs.

The Hunter

Drowned by a Water Weird

Survival Time: 7 Encounters

The Mason

Drowned by a Water Weird

Survival Time: 7 Encounters

The Bishop

Drowned by a Water Weird

Survival Time: 7 Encounters

Team Secundus' attempts to ESCAPE THE DARK CASTLE have ended here.

Oh FFS!!! >.<

F for respect

Wow that sure does suck for you guys.

Well shit. These encounters were rough.

Was fun. One of these days my character will escape successfully.

Now to sit back, cross our fingers and hope that everybody on the other teams dies too so that we don't feel so bad by comparison.

Basically the Bishop had no chance of winning after the other two were killed.

Best he could do is hold off the inevitable for awhile by rolling blocks.

That golden axe definitely would have helped in this situation.

One day, I am actually going to win one of these things! I am determined! ^_^

How the fuck is everybody on both the other teams still alive? >.<