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Empire

12 years ago

I'm planning to make a storygame which is basically about a convoluted and difficult relationship between a king and his young son and only heir.

Here's a small excrerpt of this work in progress:

Childhood

            I remember my childhood clearly, the comfortable and stylish living conditions of my spoiled castle life. The scents, tastes and sounds clearly reside in my memory as if I was experiencing them right now. But everything seems so different, the people who lived so vividly and wildly in this court don’t look at me the same way they did when I was young. The objects and furniture look so much darker and miserable than they did before.

            Even I have changed, no longer the happy and pristine child that I was before, no longer hopelessly naïve and cheerful. The world has bitterly broken me and this is my sad, pitiful story.

Memories

I am hugging my father’s back and grab his shoulders and neck playfully. He responds by playfully hugging me and throwing me around with his large bulky arms. He swings me up and down and I shout with excitement. He carries me on his back all the way home.

This was my earliest living memory and the one that haunts me the most.

 

Empire

12 years ago

Some of the adjectives seem a little choppy in the second paragraph. Might want to work on word flow.

Other than that, the game should be ok unless it graphically portrays any, er, molestation.

Empire

12 years ago

I can assure you that there will be no molestation.

Empire

12 years ago
Oh well, I'm sure it'll still be good anyway.

(Hey someone had to say something inappropriate!)

Empire

12 years ago

That's good for the child. Whether or not it's good for the king is up to speculation...

What creates problems in the relationship? Is it a psychological thing, or a bureaucratic thing, or what's going on?

Empire

12 years ago

I honestly don't know. I'm still really thinking about that. I guess It's gonna be mostly political and bureaucratic issues and some underlying emotional scars. A lot of the plot is unformulated and I've only created a brief outline.

Empire

12 years ago
Yeah, wouldn't want that!

(Where's Guanyin? haha)

Empire

12 years ago

Hows the story going?