Deadworld (The Relaunch!)
Alright back to the series proper. Let’s see how long it takes for them to fuck it up again.
So one thing they dod away with is all the different covers stuff. Actually they sort of did away with that towards the end of the old series. They do make an exception for this first issue, though it’s not so much of a different cover as it is an extra one. Basically there was a limited edition version that had a jet black cover
Subtle, but still metal.
However there was the cover of the regular comic inside. So you basically got a comic with double covers.
I probably should be taking more pics of the comic in general, but I’m lazy.
Anyway the first few pages are nothing but text to establish what went on in the first 26 issues (And the Dead Killer mini-series) sort of like I’ve been doing here except with less swearing and criticism.
With that all out of the way, we move on to the first character focus.
It’s Indiana fucking John and he’s fucked. There’s a lot of narration of why the hell he’s wandering around in the Michigan wilderness catching frostbite. He’s out looking for his son Chris who got lost.
Chris? His son’s name was CARL! Already fucking up the continuity!
Anyway, he realizes this was a retarded thing to do during a blizzard, but he just couldn’t not look for his son, even if he turned out to be dead. There’s a lot of self-reflection going on of how all his plans of building a libertarian paradise failed as hard as Rapture, his relationship with his militant whore Stacy had gone south, and now he was getting tired and just wanted to fall asleep.
Then he sees his own footprints in the snow meaning he’s been going in circles and even worse, there’s footprints of others that look like they were probably made by bare feet. Zombies are in the area.
He’s going to die no matter what, so he does the only thing he can think of to make it as painless as possible. He strips butt ass naked and just runs through the snowy forest until he eventually succumbs to the cold and collapses. Freezing too death before the zombies get to him.
And that’s it for ol’ John number 2.
It’s an acceptable start.
Well somewhat anyway since the next scene is Stacy though she’s with Kirk saying she’s still holding out hope that John’s still alive, but Clarence comes back with one of John’s boots saying he’s not coming back. There’s only a few left in the settlement John tried to build and most of them want to go to Minneapolis to live in the Mall of America
Kirk and Clarence tell Stacy of their own plan of going to the Caribbean to have an entire island to themselves. Stacy isn’t sure about the plan, but Clarence mentions that Albert used to talk about the islands and how all they would have to do is clean one out.
Then its at this point that you find out that Albert isn’t around either since Stacy says how will they let him know where they’ve gone. Clarence say he hasn’t been seen in two month so he’s not coming back either. Stacy realizes that’s probably true so she says she’ll think about the proposal to head south. Turns out Kirk really likes Stacy so he’s really hoping she’s going with them.
Next scene is Bowker with some other dude named Ted. They’re scouting out a ruined city while Ted’s saying how creepy the Vamp is and that Moloch is probably dead. Bowker agrees with both points, but as long as Vamp is keeping him alive and he’s helping her out, he’s surviving. He also mentions about bidding his time (as usual) to escape the Vamp, but he’s gotta be really sure he’s got some group to hook up with for protection.
Despite him telling Ted to stick with him, ol’ Ted’s already dead from a slit throat by some large thug. Accompanying the thug is Renya. Bowker has some words for her since the last time he saw her he got left behind. Renya explains that it was necessary since Moloch was hurt so badly and tries to convince Bowker to come back to work for Moloch again since they’re getting ready to rebuild their operations even better than ever. Bowker is reluctant until Renya mentions hearing about his “girlfriend” and then he wants to talk more.
Next scene is a flashback nightmare that Deake is having about issue 3 of the old series. He mumbles about not wanting to open the gate again in his sleep.
Next is a scene of shortly after Donna’s been in the biker camp (Apparently they’re called Demon Wheels) a week. She’s miserable, getting abused, raped and having to clean the dishes. Percy being somewhat useful, mentions there’s a raid tonight and they could possibly escape when that’s going on.
However, one biker is left to specifically look after Donna during the raid, so she doesn’t escape just more rape.
This is a bad dream of the past though that she wakes up from, since now she’s Clay’s girl and is just part of the biker group as an ‘ol lady.
Next up is a bunch of fucking text with some images of shit that happened in issues from the old series. The text is basically Albert’s journal going on about his thoughts during the Michigan adventure. Of particular note is he mentions that he was still at John’s camp because he also really liked Stacy.
Okay, I get it. There’s a lack of women, but…Stacy is still just fucking insufferable looking. I know what it is. She looks like a glamorous comic book version of Axiom.
Anyway we see Albert hiding his little diary showing that he’s not actually dead. He then wanders over to the crowd wondering what’s going on since there’s a cloud of smoke.
KZ is with some zombies (and back to his usual looking self), a graken and that oracle that sent him to Michigan. The cloud of smoke is another one of those oracle creatures.
“Oh this is just fucking great. Another one of you guys that can’t do shit.” - KZ
This oracle says he’s been sent to locate a gate opener, and one is within 100 miles of the location. He also says it’s Deake which finally makes KZ very happy.
He then asks if they’re only tuned in to one gate opener. The answer is yes, so KZ comes to the conclusion that oracles are pretty much useless unless their gate opener is either nearby or someone useful (Like not an unborn baby)
You know where this is going…
The old oracle points out that they can also act as valuable advisors, but KZ doesn’t want advisors, he wants to take out his anger on someone that sent him on a wild goose chase, so he beats the old oracle’s head in with a heavy branch.
The new oracle points out that the Boss won’t be happy about that, to which KZ says the boss can go fuck off and do this himself since KZ’s been doing all the heavy lifting while the Boss doesn’t even send any useful help.
The oracle points out that the Boss is actually here and has been for quite some time, but his train of thought his interrupted when he sees Albert. KZ says that Albert’s fine since he’s with him to write a book.
The oracle goes on to say that the Boss’ essence got split into two parts when the gate closed abruptly during the time Deake was trying to open the gate the second time and got interrupted. So he’s technically on earth but it’s not even clear if the Boss knows who he even is and both halves need to be reunited before the gate can be permanently opened!
It’s like when you get a quest and midway through they give you all these mini-tasks before you can complete it.
KZ’s like now how the fuck is he supposed to find all this shit.
The oracle mentions that he’ll know the physical aspect when he sees it, but that’s all he can do. The spiritual aspect the oracle already has a bit of knowledge on due to it taking a persona that one of their scouts engaged once. He mentions it is constantly body hopping in an attempt to find the right one and it refers to itself as Amy.
(Yep, they finally worked Amy into it already)
And lastly, you get a scene of Joey and Dan. They’re watching some encampment from far away or rather Joey is and complaining that Dan is asleep and they should just go down there and try to do some work for food since he’s not afraid of a bunch of bikers (Joey, still a fucking idiot) then he sees Donna and wakes up Dan.
On to issue 2
While they dispensed with the alternate cover thing, they still had some gimmicky covers with this relaunch. This comic had a double front cover thing where you had to flip the comic upside down to read the other one. Why they did this I’m not exactly sure since this is usually a gimmick reserved for a different comic that was less well known and a way to promote it.
However, this was just more Deadworld, there was no real reason for this other than to have a quirky comic layout.
Well anyway, one of the stories sort of does have an event that precedes the other so we’ll start with that one first.
Starts off with Donna talking to one of the newest rape slaves (Nancy) that the Demon Wheels have acquired. She’s pretty distraught about her situation, but Donna tells her if she’s going to survive she needs to do what she did and eventually one will “claim” her and she’ll only have one disgusting pig to deal with. Donna goes on to say that going along until the time is right is the safest choice and that that time is coming soon.
Percy interrupts saying the camp has visitors and Donna goes to check what the crowd is gathering around and then she sees Dan and Joey who apparently didn’t come up with a better plan than just walk in the damn camp.
Next couple pages is more of Albert’s journal shit. He’s mostly going on about KZ, Vamp, the grackens, the oracle and Bowker. He also recounts some of the events from “To Kill a King” since Bowker briefly mentioned some of it to him. (About how KZ can’t really be “killed” in the traditional sense)
Albert then mentions how he wound up in the company of zombies in the first place. He says he ran away from John’s camp since he fell in love with Stacy, but since she friend zoned him (Or always saw him as a “brother”) his chances were pretty much nil. He also mentions that she lost the baby (Which means that oracle REALLY wasted KZ’s time!) and even though she had broken up with John, he could see that Kirk was next in line to hit that shit. Not wishing to deal with this all over again and he sort of sucked at the whole rebuilding civilization thing anyway, he proposed to leave and find other settlements but nobody went with him. Lol.
In any case he wound up getting captured by zombies and fortunately (or unfortunately) for him these were under the direct control of KZ and when he found out that Albert was a journalist, KZ decided to keep him around to write a book about what was going on, but to focus on him specifically. Albert was too afraid to ask KZ who was going to be around to read it though. Albert hopes he can hook up with a large group of humans so he can get away and then mentions that KZ has just lead his horde to a well fortified city so he might get his chance soon.
KZ gives a few orders to his zombies and then asks if Albert got all that to which Albert says no because he doesn’t understand zombie talk.
(I suppose I should have mentioned this LONG before, but sometimes you see KZ talking in a weird symbol type language. It’s usually when he’s giving orders to zombies or the graken)
KZ tells Albert that the plan is they’re going to give demands to the human city or they attack, so Albert asks what the demand is, and KZ says that Deake is in the city and the demand will be to hand him over. Albert then asks who exactly Deake is and KZ mentions he’s a gate opener and when the gates are finally opened the true horror will begin.
Cut to…Punk and Eddie. Yep, they’re still around, though they’re sneaking outside the HQ apartment looking to see if Moloch is alive somewhere. Punk is wondering if this all that great of an idea since Moloch never exactly liked them and Jaxon (The leader of this current city) might think they’re loyal to him and have them killed. Eddie tells him to stop bitching and just help him.
Sort of a change up of their personalities. Usually it was the taller one (Punk) that was coming up with all the “grand ideas” while Eddie (the short one) was always going on about how the ideas were actually bad. There’s also some missing pieces of what exactly happened since the last time we saw them which was them running into Bowker and the Vamp. Unless they’re supposed to be helping Bowker this whole time, though they don’t mention him.
They end up stumbling into a dark basement where they find a chained up Wolverine in all his swastika forehead glory. Since he looks crazed and pissed, they turn off the light on him only to hear the breaking of chains as both of them make remarks that they think they pissed their pants.
Cut back to the Demon Wheels biker camp where Dan’s getting beat up by Clay who is asking where the rest of his people are. Dan says the last place they left was Monroe like he told them before. Clay says bullshit since the place got destroyed by zombies. Clay leaves saying he’s got three hours before they resume their conversation and he better tell them more or he’ll cut him up and feed him to zombies.
Joey is freaking out since if Monroe got wiped out that means his old girlfriend Jennifer and Dan’s second girlfriend Marla are probably dead. Dan says he doesn’t know that since they might have escaped. (They didn’t of course) Donna then chimes in saying that he leave yet another girlfriend behind to the zombies too? Dan tries to say he thought she was dead, but Donna just slaps him and walks off.
Next page seems to hint that a bit of time has passed as Joey comes back to Dan saying that he’s talked with Donna a bit about how she escaped, but she’s still pissed at Dan. Dan says to hell with her then if she wants to stay here, but they need to get out.
Joey, continuing to be an idiot says that this biker camp isn’t so bad and is actually pretty safe. He tells Dan that Donna says they always treat new people rough so that they know their place and then things cool down. (Repeated gang rape is a little worse than just treating new people “rough” I’d say.) Joey goes on to say he’s tired of running all the time and besides Donna and Percy are here so he feels they should all stick together.
Wait a minute, Joey never even liked fucking Percy!
Dan says that’s a retarded idea and he’s not going to just sit around getting his face punched in by someone trying to prove how tough they are. He mentions he’ll escape and check in a couple days and if anyone wants to leave, he’ll help them escape.
Next page indicates yet a bit more time has passed and now Donna is approaching Joey saying that she probably was a little hard on Dan. Just that she wished for so long that he’d show up and then after she long gave up hope, he suddenly arrives. She mentions how Joey’s gotten so big and hugs him, to which he says Dan should be the one she hugs and she asks where is he, to which he explains Dan escaped, but plans on checking up in a couple days.
Donna panics since she realizes that’s why Clay and some others left in such a hurry, they set up a trap expecting him to escape. She runs off to try to do something, only to hear a gunshot.
Next scene is Dan getting shot as he’s running through the woods, and then gets shot a second time with Clay holding a pistol on him saying that Donna told him he was tough, but that he doesn’t seem so tough. Dan makes a remark about being tough always depends on what side of the gun you’re on.
Clay makes one more statement about not liking him the moment he saw him and “You know what I do to people I don’t like?”
Followed by a gun close up and a fantastic “BLAM!” comic sound effect.
And on that note, we flip the comic over and read the other plotline.
Starts off with some soldier talking with the Vamp and whispering a bit of poison in her ear that Bowker probably has a thing for Renya and implying that their current meeting is involving fucking. The Vamp isn’t the jealous type though and she already notices that this soldier is looking at her pretty hard so they go into the back of the truck to fuck.
Bowker is talking with Renya and they’ve apparently come to an agreement where he’s going to help her and Moloch get back into power though he doesn’t understand why she just doesn’t use this Jaxon as a puppet instead since she’s already got him hooked in, but she mentions Jaxxon is an idiot that doesn’t have any long range planning and obviously she can’t become the leader because the men are not going to take orders from a woman. She even mentions she could try to put Bowker in power, but they don’t know him well enough.
Bowker warns Renya that he’s not going to get horse fucked by her and Moloch again to which she promises that won’t happen and he’ll have a sizable slice of the power pie (Like the old days) when the take over occurs.
Bowker leaves wondering where the hell one of his soldiers is only to find him half eaten in the back of the truck with the Vamp hovering over him. Vamp asks if Renya went for the plan, to which Bowker says she did and they have to go into town and wait for her call. Vamp asks if they should go tell KZ about this first, but Bowker says it would be better if they didn’t alert any suspicion, he also says that he explained to Renya about the Vamp and that she goes where he goes which causes Vamp to remark that she didn’t know he cared.
One might wonder why Renya would be cool with Bowker hanging out with smart zombies in any capacity, unless she doesn’t realize the Vamp is actually a zombie which could very well be the case. The Vamp herself once again gives a poor showing of critical thinking by just obeying Bowker’s statement of not contacting KZ about all this. But she really does SIMP pretty hard for the dude.
Cut to Renya going to see Moloch who is actually all better now, though he’s been feigning that he’s crippled still and hooked on pain killers. The time is drawing closer to strike since Moloch can’t put up this charade much longer and even if he could Jaxxon is in a hurry to get rid of him anyway. Renya reassure him that they got a support system to take power since some of the men are still loyal and she’s recruited Bowker to help.
Moloch is a little hesitant to trust this is a good idea given that they left him behind, but since they don’t have much in the way of options and Bowker does have knowledge of exactly why Deake is important, Moloch goes along with the plan.
Cut back to Bowker and Vamp who are in some run down motel nearby. She’s wondering what they’re doing here and Bowker explains that it’s the best way to make them think they’re with the plan rather than running off to go tell KZ. Vamp is finally starting to complain about this saying KZ isn’t going to be pleased if they waste too much time and don’t return soon.
Bowker cops a bit more of an attitude saying KZ can fuck himself and it’s going to take as long as it’s going to take. Vamp notices that Bowker’s getting a little braver now that he’s close to his old pals. Bowker dismisses this as he’s tired of getting fucked around by everyone.
Vamp at this point tries her usual flirty routine which finally causes him to ask why him anyway?
She explains that it’s because he’s alive and while she can’t really feel anything, she likes the pulsating sensation of flesh inside her (Aww yeah). She doesn’t quite answer his question of why him though. After all she can fuck any human (and has) but she does have a bit of a fixation on him specifically. One might just chalk this up to her perverse sense of chasing a “challenge” or maybe she really does like him for some strange reason.
Once again she says she can hop into another body if he wants. She could even hop into Renya’s body so he could fuck her for awhile, but Bowker’s like it doesn’t matter, once the body’s dead, it’s dead. She points out that he’s just being difficult since he did enjoy himself when he didn’t realize it was her.
And it’s at this point Bowker’s blows her brains out. Then he starts kicking her body and calling her names before mocking that she didn’t get the chance to hop out of the body. He then says how he’s finally free of all these fucking zombies.
Cut back to the paramilitary HQ which is the big ass apartment building where Jaxon’s staff are knocking on his door to tell him that there are a horde of zombies surrounding the city. He tells them to gather in the meeting room in a half hour since he wants to fuck Renya before handling this.
Well after some pre-fuck talking, she convinces Jaxon to let her get on top, from there it doesn’t take long for Renya to pull a knife out and kill Jaxon while she’s fucking him. She quickly calls Moloch to let him know that now is the time to strike since all the commanders are in the meeting room and Jaxon’s dead. She then calls Bowker to give a signal and he waves a lantern out the window.
From a distance KZ is watching with binoculars and mentions that he knew Bowker wouldn’t let him down. The oracle asks he’s not going to attack, and KZ says he might not need to if Bowker pulls this off then he’s betrayed the human race again and big time, he just doesn’t know it yet. Albert asks how so, and KZ just says everyone will see soon enough.
Alright so this one opens up with Stacy and Kirk driving presumably down south. Clarence is mentioned to be sleeping in the backseat. To get their mind off how things are so fucked up, Kirk suggests that they look at some tour guide pamphlets of tropical islands they’re supposedly going to conquer. Great idea Kirk, a better way of keeping your mind off how fucked up things is if you told Stacy to give you road head as you were driving.
Stacy points out that they’re going to have to be careful with some these islands since some of them have strange shit going on like voodoo, live sacrifice and cannibalism.
Wow, good thing Clarence wasn’t awake to hear you being RACIST Stacy.
When she mentions cannibalism however, Kirk winces a bit which causes Stacy to apologize to which he says it’s fine and that he doesn’t really think about it much.
And cut to a flashback…
Honestly it’s a bit of a pointless flashback, but cannibalism really has been ignored in this series so far so this is a good way to work it in.
To cut a long story short, it’s about Kirk when he was still in Michigan and he and another person get accidentally shot by others in John’s camp while on a scouting task. It’s claimed they mistook them for game, but even if it was a mistake, they were going to end up on the dinner table soon anyway.
Kirk’s wound isn’t as bad, but the other guy is dying. The small group is without food and so in the middle of the night they finish off the dying guy (Before he can zombify) and cut off his head (So he really doesn’t zombify) and eat him.
Kirk and one other old man see this and are already taking steps to escape. A shoot out ensues. The old man dies, two of the cannibals die and it’s just down to the last one and Kirk. Fortunately for Kirk that’s when another group from John’s camp finds them and shoots the cannibal.
Cut back to “present day” and Stacy is asking if they remembered all the supplies they’ll need, including condoms since she doesn’t want ANOTHER unwanted pregnancy. Kirk said he didn’t since that seemed a bit too “forward.”
REALLY Kirk? Fucking hell.
Fortunately for Kirk, Stacy’s like she’s gotta get fucked and they don’t have time for all the niceties of an old school courtship so she remembered to bring condoms. Page fucking ends with a dumb fucking grin on Kirk’s dumb fucking face.
Oh spoiler alert. (Lol) That’s it for these two. (And Clarence who doesn’t even get a final scene!) I semi-skimmed ahead through this series and they don’t show up again at all from what I can tell. You can either imagine they lived happily ever after in the Caribbean or they all got fucking eaten by zombies trying to pursue their retarded plan.
I know which ending I pick for them and nothing of value was lost.
Speaking of nothing of value, let’s catch up with Amy.
So Amy’s floating around looking for a body and she sense one close by that’s on the verge of death.
Now cut to potentially the second darkest scene in the series.
No seriously, the next scene is some fat bald dude angrily choking the shit out of a little girl and ranting about how he killed her dad so it could just be him and her together, but she just HAD to keep screaming a ruin everything! (Her dad’s body is nearby with a hole in his head)
The Reddit Moderator then goes on about how she’s the same as all the others pretending to be innocent and then resisting so he’s MADE to do this. Then it shows him standing over her dead body and undoing his pants.
Next panel is him touching her leg saying how smooth and virginal it is and thanks her for saving it for his touch as he starts lifting her dress up.
Yeah, it’s pretty fucking creepy.
However Amy saves the day by taking over the corpse while his sweaty pedo ass is on top of her going “So pure…so innocent…”
The corpse gets up and surprises the hell out of him. Why though? Surely he knows damn well the dead walk nowadays hence why he’s able to do this type of shit without . Hell, one would think that if he’s done this sort of thing multiple times as he implies, he’d have this down to a science like tying up the dead loli before fucking it. Anyway, Amy says they should have a heart to heart before taking their relationship any farther and then rips his heart out.
Cut to Bowker killing someone that’s guarding Moloch. He comes in the room to find Moloch and Renya waiting and asks where’s the rest of the resistance and they tell him this is it. Moloch tries to reassure Bowker though that all they gotta do is have the balls to act like they’re in charge and it’ll be true.
Well not like they got much else to work with now, so they barge into the meeting room where all of Jaxon’s commanders are and naturally they’re wondering what the hell is going on. Moloch says Jaxon’s dead and he’s in charge now because he’s the best one equipped to lead them into the future (And deal with the zombie army amassed outside the city)
While they send a guy to confirm Jaxon is dead, one commander in particular doesn’t see why they should follow him. Moloch starts talking about nation building and how it’ll be glorious. That same commander says Moloch has some good ideas and he’ll be sure to use them and it’s too bad he won’t be around to see them put into action while pointing a gun at Moloch.
Meanwhile KZ is still waiting outside the city and getting annoyed that Bowker hasn’t given another signal. Albert says maybe he changed his mind or he couldn’t pull off the plan. KZ kicks Albert around telling him to shut up while stating that Bowker fucked up and he’s sick of dealing with human scum. He’s going to just do it his way and orders the zombie horde to attack the city. Kill everything.
Albert tries to run away, but a graken stops him and brings him before KZ. Albert says KZ is going to kill him anyway, but he’s then reminded that he has to write KZ’s chronicles.
“Your chronicles? About what? About how you’re trying to kill every human on the planet?” - Albert
“That’s a good start. Why did you have a different approach?” -KZ
Albert finally asks who is going to read the book if everyone’s dead. KZ says he’s not sure yet, BUT he figures he’ll be prepared as it will be his legacy.
And Albert’s legacy is that he’ll be the very last human. (Albert haz a sad about this legacy)
Cut to the biker camp where Clay is telling Donna to stop whimpering over Dan since he’s dead. Joey suddenly tries to get tough, which Clay dares him to do something since he’s just looking for an excuse.
Donna stops things before they get worse, and Joey just storms off saying he wishes he never saw Donna and that he should have left with Dan. While Donna’s begging Clay not to kill Joey, more of his crew show up and tell him they found something.
Turns out what they found is Amy. One says they just found her wandering around and that there were no tracks leading back to any sort of group or family. Clay starts yelling at them asking why the hell they brought her to the camp and between Joey and now Amy, the camp is becoming a place for lost kids. Donna says she’ll look after Amy. Clay’s too pissed to even process anything just storming off saying he doesn’t need this shit.
Donna talks to Amy who is silent until she mentions that her name is Amy. Donna says she’ll take her to get some food and that’s when Amy suddenly senses that her physical half is right here in the camp. All she has to do is figure out which human it is and then it’ll be time for the world to die.
Alright on to issue 4 which has fucking Wolverine on the cover standing on a bunch of zombie bodies. It really was a different time where you could have dude with a swastika on his forehead and using the name of a popular Marvel character on the front cover of your comic. Just fuck the establishment.
So back to Moloch’s attempted coup which isn’t going very well. The black commander he’s talking to isn’t just rolling over and is about to shoot Moloch until another commander runs in saying how there’s zombies about to overrun the city. Black commander takes charge of the situation telling everyone what to do and how to do it. One guy refuses so he shoots him as an example asking if anyone else has any objections.
Everyone complies and they ask what to do about Moloch, Bowker and Renya. He says to kill them, but then says “Wait, leave the girl alive.”
Then dumb luck personified happens and the three of them get saved by Punk, Eddie and Wolverine. Even Bowker’s like he can’t believe he’s being saved by these two imbeciles. Bowker punches out the black commander and is about to kill him, but Moloch stops him saying that he handled himself well under pressure, he just wasn’t on their side. If that changes, he could use a man like him.
Black commander says yeah the pressure of command was getting to him anyway and that he was with Moloch.
While I sort of get Moloch’s logic here, I’d go more with Bowker’s approach of just killing him so he won’t be a potential threat in the future.
Moloch tells Bowker that he heard he had some sort of plan to stop the zombies so he better get to it, Bowker leaves. Moloch then tells Punk and Eddie he’s proud of them and to lock up the rest of the commanders then go out and help fight zombies.
Finally he addresses the black commander saying he could use a second then he sees Renya still there and says third in command and that he would be good for the job. Renya mentions that she promised that position to Bowker. Moloch says Bowker has no imagination, but they can keep him pacified so he still plays along.
Next up is some zombie fighting. mostly some bumbling humans fumbling with Molotovs and one of the fucktard’s actually setting himself on fire.
Cut to KZ observing the battle and asking Albert if he thinks the humans will give up. The oracle says zombies are taking heavy losses, but there’s more where that came from. Just as the humans are falling back, Bowker arrives before KZ to his surprise.
Bowker asks why the hell he’s attacking the city when they had a deal. KZ simply says he got tired of waiting. He also asks where the Vamp is and Bowker is vague about his answer, but the main thing is he says KZ has one shot at this deal and presents Deake in tow.
He says he doesn’t know why Deake is important, but he’ll kill him if KZ doesn’t call off the attack. He says take Deake and never return to the city again. That’s it.
The oracle connects with Deake and has an “interesting” experience causing Bowker to ask what the hell is going on, KZ says he thinks the oracle just had an orgasm. Cue the oracle grabbing KZ’s cigarette and taking puff saying he never had physical contact with a gate opener before.
“Our auras meshed. It was beautiful.” - Oracle
KZ says it’s a deal, but the zombies were expecting a feast and they’ll be disappointed. Bowker has Punk and Eddie offer up the other captured commanders. KZ says it’s not enough, then Bowker mentions that there’s a motor cycle camp a few miles away which should be enough. He says they’re looters anyway, if the zombies don’t take care of them, they’ll just have to later.
Cut to Amy who has finally located the physical half she needs and all she needs to do is touch it. Apparently it’s Joey.
Amy is about to touch Joey on the back of his head, but then she’s grabbed by Donna who says something’s happening and everyone needs to gather to the center of camp. Someone in camp has noticed a horde of zombies approaching. Clay does a little preparation and to keep the bikes nearby just in case they have to make a getaway. (And an off hand remark about tough for anyone who won’t be able to make it to the limited amount of bikes)
Cut back to KZ planning the attack on the camp and saying they need at least one of the humans alive for the live sacrifice. Albert asks what if the zombies accidentally kill everyone.
“Then I guess we’ll just have to use you, won’t we.” - KZ
Alright on to issue 5.
Once again the comic goes with a gimmicky cover. I won’t even bother explaining, I’ll just show you this one since I don’t remember ever really seeing on like this before by any other comic.
Now flip the cover open…
The whole portrait!
And also a great way of ripping the front of your comic cover since there’s a big square sized hole making it somewhat fragile to open and that makes a tear in that lower right corner very likely (And even if you can’t tell in the pic, mine is ripped on that corner and I used clear tape on it. F)
Okay so the zombie attack on the camp is in motion with KZ just laughing about how the humans are just hunkering down since they believe the zombies are only attacking from one side as opposed to surrounding the entire camp like he’s commanded them to.
Doesn’t take long before the bikers go from being arrogant to shitting their pants realizing that they’re fucked on all sides.
KZ sees that the group is nearly destroyed so he makes his way to shut down the show completely. Then the oracle expresses excitement that the Boss is in the camp. Not just his physical aspect, but his spiritual one as well. Just that they’re still disconnected. The oracle advises him to call off the attack, but KZ says if he’s so powerful he can look after himself.
In the ensuing chaos, people from the camp are scattering and Amy sees an opportunity to bad touch Joey. But once again Donna picks her up and shouts that they all need to make a run for it. Joey grabs Percy telling him to follow them. Donna then realizes she’s still a woman and will never be as physically strong as a man and shouts that Amy’s too fucking heavy and tells Joey to carry her.
Amy literally death hugs Joey, but nothing happens. Joey’s just carrying her as they run away from the camp. Even Amy looks confused by this. Joey catches sight of Clay trying to escape on his bike and decides he’s going to get a little revenge. He tells Percy to hold Amy and hands her off to him so he can shoot Clay.
And that’s when the transference takes place. Amy reunites with the physical aspect which was Percy all along. (Apparently her radar was a little off)
“I HAVE RETURNED!” - The Boss
There’s a mixture of reactions from the ones witness to this. Surprise, despair, excitement, etc.
Cut to Moloch giving orders to his staff which consists of Renya, Hendricks (The black commander) and Punk and Eddie (Lol) It also consists of Bowker, but Bowker is always a bit more on the frontlines so he’s already taking care of the shit he’s supposed to be doing, which is establishing order in the city via a police force, clearing up dead bodies and such.
A couple of the drafted are clearing up bodies and mumbling about not liking this new regime change and one of the dead bodies isn’t quite dead yet and you see a wispy enter it. While Bowker’s scolding them for something, the body sneaks away. Turns out this is Vamp who nearly didn’t make it. She does an inner monologue as she watches Bowker from afar saying she could have been anything he wanted so why’d he do it. She then claims she’ll be coming back for him. (She can’t obviously right now, she’s in a male body and she identifies as female lol)
Another spoiler, this is like the last time you see Moloch, Renya or that new Hendricks guy despite it looking like they were going to do more with him. I don’t even think they’re referenced again, but I suppose it can be assumed they’re running boring day to day operations of the city and nation building.
There’s more I could say about all this, but I’ll go into some of this extra stuff probably next post to take a break from the actual comic review.
Cut back to the biker camp where KZ is going on about how great this day has turned out, especially since now he also gets his pick of a new bike. He offers the survivors he’s got to volunteer to be the live sacrifice to open the gate. Since nobody volunteers, KZ just does the “eeny meeny miney moe” routine and Joey gets picked.
Then he stops and says “Wait a minute. I know you.”
Probably having a different form of torture for Joey, he says to take the girl next to Joey, which turns out to be Nancy.
Nancy begs not to be sacrifice, but Clay continuing to be an asshole even in this circumstance, throws Nancy toward KZ saying it was a fair pick. Donna at this point gives Clay a swift kick in the balls and pushes Clay towards KZ saying to take him instead.
KZ is amused by all this and likes Donna’s style (Though he doesn’t seem to recognize her like he did Joey) and figures Clay might be a littler quieter than Nancy during the sacrifice set up, so everyone wins. He tells Clay it won’t be so bad, he’ll just feel a little burn from the inside and then it’s over or so he’s heard.
Cut to a woman running with her kids who managed to escape from the zombie attack on the camp, she then gets surprised by who she sees.
And in panel taking up half the page, you get the closest thing to a “super hero” in the comic. Yes, it’s Dead Killer and he’s even posing like a pony tailed, one handed version of the Punisher. Bow and rifle on his back, stiletto stump, uzi in the good hand. Dressed in all black but looks like a spandex material due to it showing the outlines of how fucking RIPPED he is.
Okay, it’s a comic book and even in a setting that’s technically in the “real world” can make allowances for such things, but…
HOW THE FUCK IS HE ABLE TO EVEN USE A GODDAMN BOW?
Even the rifle I suppose is doable if he has a little tripod to snipe from a fixed position, but a fucking bow? Like he doesn’t even have the special equipment that allows for someone with one hand to even do it. A bow can’t possibly be the most efficient weapon for him in any case. Like if he’s going for silent “Badassery” having him equipped with a bunch of sharp throwing knives would make way more sense. (Especially with the one arm being freakishly strong due to over use)
Anyway she recognizes him as “The Dead Killer” and he’s like “Is that what they call me?”
(Oh come on, you had to have some idea of your fame if you’re dressing like dimestore Punisher)
He tells her where the closest village is where she can get to safety and when she turns back around, he’s gone (Just like Batman!)
Cut back to Deake doing some chanting and Clay’s burnt out husk. The gate is opened causing KZ to do the villainous “YES!” thing saying that it’s time for a new world, time for a dead world.
Boom title drop.
So first five issues and they’ve already killed off some main character from the old series, reunited others, and introduced new ones. And they’ve managed to do all this without really any fuck ups or retardation of the storyline or even shitty artwork.
Don’t worry, this doesn’t last!