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Featuring: A Bunch of Random Garbage

In recent news:

1) Eiwynn from COG (yes, that Eiwynn) made an account on CYS and was far more tolerable and entertaining than expected.

2) Corgi was mistaken for a new user; Corgi was not amused. But he'll roll over if you scratch his belly.

3) Bucky will not be hosting a contest for the first time in six years. Go steal prompts from someone else.

4) No one appears to care about 2019 anymore.

5) In Will's fake news weekly, Briar is getting credit for interesting comments no. 5 despite not logging into CYS since January.

6) Cricket lives.

7) Berka is working on a story.

8) One of Eiwyn's favorite authors is the guy who wrote a scene about a woman who got hit by a car and lost a bosom.

9) There will not be a CYS Kindness Trophy, but EndMaster still showed his affection for his loyal peons.

10) We've already mentioned the only bug of import.

New Stories:

Some new user published a 100k+ story, but it was mediocre. Mizal expects more and better stories from him though.

The best recent stories still originated from the last contest.

Infinite Story (yeah, they're still not officially dead) has an ongoing contest until Easter. Go spit something out while you're on the John. Your biggest competition is probably an ESL Spaniard. The smart money is on her.

Below, an excerpt from Rattler's Western:



As the sun rises outside your window, colour emerges into your eyes, you roll over, trying to block out the aggravating light, but it doesn't help, you raise your arm and shield your entire face. After a while you decide to get up, you make your bed and you walk over to your desk. You sit down and gaze into the morning sun through your window. The landscape he was observing was an old, rabbit-bitten pasture, with prints of steps that might belong to moles - because you see a few molehills around. In the thick hedge in the other end of the pasture You get up and change into some adequate pants and slip on a shirt, then you put on some shoes and tie the laces. Then you get a belt and slide it in through the belt loops on your pants, after that you walk over to your bookshelf and shuffle through it in an attempt to find something entertaining to read, you can only find a couple of books on agriculture and music. The remaining items that are contained inside of your bookshelf are either loose sheets of paper or misplaced clothes.



Enthralling. And yes, he clearly likes run-on sentences.

I continue to not write and apparently be generally un-fun. I will resolve to try to be less un-fun. No promises.

2020 Contests

Apparently everyone hates contests because they feel pressured to enter and then write words. But most people won't write many words unless they feel pressured or otherwise obligated.

I guess we can assume there is a Best of 2020 Contest.

World News

Expert opinions on coronavirus are highly contingent on the expert's personal, political, and financial incentives. An Oregon elementary school closed and commenced a deep cleaning after an employee who may have, but not for sure, had the coronavirus and farted or something near the building.

Bernie Sanders is winning the democratic primary. But apparently talking heads feel this is bad for the party. Recently, Bernie has expressed his admiration for policies of Fidel Castro, noting that he was not a 100% bona fide evil man. This is probably true. History has probably seen at least one more evil person. The world should know.

President Trump has still not been able to finalize a purchase agreement with Denmark for Greenland. This presents a significant setback to the existence of the proposed U.S. Polar Bear Corp.

Ford almost studied math.

Fake News Interview with: Enterpride:

What is your favorite color?

Festered blood. I like how it gets that not quite black, not quite red look.

What inspired you to write a Treatise on Heartly Manners?

Several sensual encounters with [REDACTED].

Intense. How do you feel about the sale of Greenland?

Keep your Yankee hands off our bloody polar bears.

Any thoughts on Brexit?

It's called a biscuit, you imbecile!



Let's give a big hand to Enterpride.

In the alleged next edition ...

We will do a fake news interview with the corpse of a warrior cat account holder. Stay tuned.

I don't understand this contest prompt. I'm in for 125 though.

The interview was a fake?

Good work Horned skull

Bravo Bucky, spontaneous retardery is a big part of being Fun.

This was amusing, although Enterpride felt strangely out of character. Hmm. You must've caught him on an off moment.

Making it to no 1 on the Disappointment Periodical --- this year's most surprising accomplishment.

Checking in at no 8 in a repeat performance on the Disappointment Periodical, I am happy to amuse.

Now back to my writing, I go --

I am disappointed that my Thoughts did not break the top 10 as well, but there still is time to Disappoint!

Thanks Bucky for the attention.