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Questions about a storygame? Thoughts on Eternal? Any other IF you're playing out there?

I just made my first storygame. n_n

10 years ago

Yaaay!

I just made my first comment for someone like you!

10 years ago

I won't spare you my point.

In short, I think you need to do stuff like this with more taste.  Outright violence for no reason is boring.

I just made my first comment for someone like you!

10 years ago

Thanks.... I guess?

I just made my first storygame. n_n

10 years ago

I died twice, got bored and closed the window rather than try again. :P

As 'My First Storygame,' to learn the editor, there's nothing wrong with it. But it seems to be very much in the classic CYOA mode of 'all but one of these branches end in arbitrary death'... which frankly, is not that fun to play.

I just made my first storygame. n_n

10 years ago

Honestly, I liked the idea. It seemed original and I think you could of really done something to it. But the plot ended to quickly without having enough time to expand.

I just made my first storygame. n_n

10 years ago

Honestly, I don't know why people are saying that the story has promise. I see none. There doesn't seem to be much time put into the game. Instant end game links with no rhyme or reason to them. Just *BAM* the game ends! Why?.....That's why! :D Literally  none of the choices have any affect on the story, and if you don't go down the 'right path', you will either die or be pushed down that path.

Aside from the grammar mistakes, there is no story. I am going to assume that randomness is what you were aiming for, but even random can have a story. The humor, if there was supposed to be any, doesn't show. I can't tell whether or not you are simply trying to be random, or be random and funny. I think one of the comments put it best in describing it as a game of Russian Roulette.

I think you should take down and revise this story. Add more to it, or start over completely.