I've just played through your updated story and thought I'd post feedback here rather than write another comment. The story remains strong and very enjoyable with interesting characters and situations so I'd still stick to my rating of 7/8. As you said there's a few little spelling errors here and there, the strangest I found was the statement - "Gorramit, noisy bugger attracted more of them. - on the Heading West to avoid the Mob page. Mostly these don't distract from the story at all and neither do the choice options which are broad enough to offer real re-playability in the story.
One thing I'll criticize is the ambiguity about the creatures in the story. At various times they are described as "infected", "zombies", "harbingers" and "shamblers", you also refer to homicidal human survivors as "crazies" with the implication that we know what you mean. Though it's easy to follow these descriptions a little clarity would be more useful. Another specific ambiguity regards the main character which is presumably based on us, the reader. What is the character's background? His family? His life before the apocalypse?
I only ask because the character appears strangely detached from the crisis in a way that would lead me to consider him a "crazy" (we do after all first meet him after having eaten an old man much as a zombie would). The following quote is typical: describing him killing a crazy:
"You're kind and finish it quickly and cleanly before checking the room and body, packing some food for later and heading back out. "Only a crazy but hey, I have more food in my pack now than I did before so I count a win." you think to yourself as you head further North."
Has he got so used to killing he has no compassion to share and no feeling of remorse or horror about being a murderer? Computer games and zombie films aren't big on generating sympathy for the victims but in real life he should feel some horror at his actions (I know if I beat in someone's head with a baseball bat I wouldn't "count it as a win"). Has he so lost his compassion due to ceaseless horror that he is more scarred than the zombies? I think most readers would accept the main character without questioning his reasoning too closely but an interesting depth of moral complexity could be added to the main character here.
Outside of these minor ambiguities the writing is strong, the descriptions thorough and generally the story is a strong addition to the zombie survivor genre. It will be interesting to see how long and complex it gets and seems to me a strong contender for the competition :)
