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The night is just a dark, empty void ready to be filled with the spirits of foolish children. The darkness is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It has no gender, no race, no age, no anything. The Darkness is empty, lifeless and hungry. Ready to feast on the souls of innocent children of the light, trying to lead them astray. And they would follow. Soon they would become meaningless and worthless, their limp body sprawled out in the darkness. No child has yet to survive in Ravenholm and no child ever will. How has the city stayed so long and not joined its old friend darkness? Many foolish people bring their children here. Maybe not so foolish. They bring them here to satisfy darkness, but there has been a shortage until you came along. Now Darkness is a ravenous lion waiting for its dinner and tonights special, you.

Is this good for an introduction for the biggest enemy in my story? (Darkness)

It does sound interesting, but it isn't my type of writing.

It sounds like it has a dark twist.

Will it be a dark story?

Yes.

Ah.

I do see your writing is quite dark and romantic.

Sounds like one of Endmaster's games...

...with a young-teen take on it.  As much as I'd rather you not do it, I've often misjudged others, so go ahead, explore your story as best as you can.

You should also add more choices in your stories. When I say choices I mean ones that take me down an alternate pathway, not ones that take be to a different page that will take me to the page I was on previously.

Aside from that your storytelling is amazing and depressing. I look forward to your next one.

Yes, I am trying to. I will try to make the choices depend on how much the reader will know.

Mm, sounds interesting. Why does the darkness like eating children? They're not that actually very good tasting.