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Toss around ideas and brainstorm your story.

A unicorn seeks feedback

6 years ago

In short:
1. I've made a little demo/teaser of "The Story of a Unicorn" game, feel free to comment it.
2. I'm looking for playtesters, proofreaders and possibly coauthors.

The demo includes everything except the actual gameplay, namely:
- the improved JavaScript storygame engine;
- information and option pages before the game;
- the first game pages with disabled links;
- (probably the most important thing) a menu with the information about the game setting and memories of the main character.

More is done than included in the demo, but this is probably as much as will be publicly available before the final release. Play it here

About the little "test": the concept of this game is unusual and many players might not like it. So it's better to give a good explanation and disclaimer before the game. A test seems more fun and effective than a long text.

I'd very appreciate constructive feedback on the style, grammar and recommendations on how to improve them.

What do you think of this game so far? Is there anything that should be changed? If you are interested in this game, please leave a comment.

If you want to help, you can play it while it is being developed, discuss it, give feedback and ideas.

Proofreading is necessary because I'm not a native English speaker. If I can't find proofreaders now, I'll stop the development.

If you want to be a coauthor, don't worry about scripts, I'll do them.

If you decide to help in any way, PM me or post to this thread. I'll PM you when more game material is ready.

A unicorn seeks feedback

6 years ago

Ehhh, the test seems like a waste of time. 

A unicorn seeks feedback

6 years ago

Clicking on a link to skip the test takes only 1 second.

Originally I made a longer and more clear explanation about why the test is included, but then I edited the post to make it twice shorter.

Anyway, the entire project is a waste of time if there is no interest in it (there is not a single comment about the game itself in 24 hours).

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Because no one is interested, the development is stopped.

It would have been the longest animal perspective game and by far the most heavily scripted game on this site.

Farewell, the lone unicorn. In a world of dreams that never became words, rest in peace.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Don't be like that...

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Fine then, go ahead and quit. Honestly, if you are so willing to give up on this idea that quickly, it may not have been a good one to begin with.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Uh, guys, it's ok. It's not a ragequit or something like that.

I gave up not on the idea, but on working each day for 1-2 years on a project knowing that no one needs it. It's just impossible. If it were a project for 1-2 months, I would make it without asking opinions midway.

People need motivation, that's why there are many "motivation" threads. If there is not a single positive comment, it's a strong demotivation.

And as it is stated in the OP, it can't be done without a help of a proofreader.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

If you don't like making that story, then don't work on it. Write for yourself. Honestly, I'm not interested in yout game since I don't fancy animal-based game.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

What if the unicorn was equipped with a Steyr AUG and was mowing down Warrior Cats with it?

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

I would like to see that sort of thing. :P It would be interesting to see a unicorn or cat with M240 or SMAW mowing down their enemies.

But not everyone knows firearms and military stuff as good as me. DerpBacon is working on the CYS clan storygame. I hope we're not just carrying AK-47 and Glock. I want more firearms in order for me to get more interested. Attachments if possible.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Lol, you should make a game set in Texas where a group of neighbors deck out their individual ar-15s and argue which one is the best.  They go through a series of contests before shooting each other in a hissy fit before their children start decking out their 1911s years later.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Negative on that. My next game after my zombie (mixed with modern warfare) will be about Tiger Ace. The story takes place in Villers-Bocage in 1944. You play as Michael Witmann controlling his Tiger tank. Pretty much based on real life.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

"Write for yourself."

I liked working on this story. But it's already finished in my head, I know all the endings. Writing it down is a big work that is worth doing only for other people.

The unicorn says goodbye

6 years ago

Then I suggest you to continue getting your hands dirty on it. I'm sure there are a lot of people that will like your storygame.

A unicorn seeks feedback

6 years ago

I'm sorry that I missed this thread before you decided to abandon work on the game.

We get so few really good story games to read on this site with real character development that I think most people don't realize it when they get slapped in the face by one just because it may be written in a genre in which they may associate with younger writers with poor communication skills.

I think this has real potential and would like to see it continued and would like to offer my assistance as a proofreader.

A unicorn seeks feedback

6 years ago

Thank you! :)

The probability that I revive this game is close to zero. I don't think it's only a matter of prejudice against animal stories.

On the brighter side: after I abandoned this game (and thanks to that) I've found a role-playing forum where people have more or less the same interests as me. So the main character of this story will have a chance to live again in a better world :)