Wednesday:
Romulus: another 5 points, way to stay consistent to your hero's powers.
Ben: 5 pts, good sense of anticipation,
Blood: 5 pts, doing a good job making everything flow together, as though it were written all at once instead of in pieces
Ogre: 5 pts, I want this to be a storygame.
Chris: 1 pt, very cool idea to do it as an epic. on the poetry side: "once" and "won" don't technically rhyme, that's definitely the clunkiest line; if you're going to do rhyming couplets, they sound better with some kind of meter- not only do these couplets not have the same number of syllables per line, they don't have consistent pattern to the stress. (You can do inconsistencies if they fit the rhythm-- "but that was many years before, back during the days of war" works very well.)
igulat: 5 pts, good job linking it even though the previous bit ended the story.
claw: I'll give you 2 pts, can't really bonus you since there's no previous narrative to link to. Nice perspective flip.
back to week one: flamez- 5 pts, who is he talking to?
bilbo: 5 pts, I've been waiting for this scene! XD
shado: 5 pts, I knew something was up when the old man was just like "bye!" "Brang" not actually a word, but whatever.
