Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

I've been toying with a random story idea I had, and I'm just wondering if it could work? Or if ya'll think it would be too hard to understand? The idea is to basically have two main characters with one essentially spying on the other. It would be back and forth. Like for example: page 1 would be the spy in first person, page 2 would be protagonist in second person with choices, page 3 spy first person, page four protagonist in second person , etc. Etc. 

Do you think this could work?? Why or why not?

Also was curious about on spy pages using sentences like, "I watched as you dressed for bed." And like the protagonist page being like, "You felt someone watching you but put it off as your over active imagination."

Ideas anyone? Just curious if it could work...

Well, I mean, in theory you can make anything work. What really matters is your ability as a writer.

Thanks for your advice... ps I loved your zombie story game. 

Oh, and I was mainly asking because I read somewhere on here that its bad to switch from two perspectives like first to second person within the same story. But I think I might be able to make it work. Just an idea for a story later on.

Maybe not have the perspectives switch back and forth constantly, but perhaps switch off the perspectives every few chapters or so. I've read a few books that do so, and I believe it gives the reader much more insight into the story, opposing to one perspective of a single character. So, go ahead and give it a try.

Thanks for your advice, Zag. The spy character, however isn't controlled by the reader and doesn't have any choices in the game; so he wouldn't need chapters... just a few pages spaced out throughout the game. 

I have read novels with something like this -- every few chapters you switch to the other "group" and read about them for a time, knowing that eventually the two groups will come together. It certainly can be done, and that's independent of the point-of-view. I think it would be quite jarring if both points of view were first person because then the reader would have to actually shift from who they were while reading. If they were both third person, it would make sense. If one were first-person, seeing the other in third-person would almost be like some weird out-of-body experience or something.

To make this work effectively, I think you would also need a clear progression from both sides leading to the final conflict where there is only one scene because both are there -- again, where third person would actually make more sense.

Thanks for your feedback, Ogre. Much appreciated. I am currently working on another story, though. When I start this one, probably right after I publish the current one, remind me to PM you the details so you can better understand what I'm trying to do. Its very hard to explain without giving away the story. I really want to know if it could work, and I value your imput. You seem like a competant writer and you've been a member awhile. Hopefully, i can remember and you don't mind.... 

No worries, glad to help out when I can.

Please do keep in mind, however, when you get my opinion:

1. It is my opinion. That's all. No matter the topic, there WILL be some who disagree with me.
2. It is likely worth exactly what you paid for it...

Lmao..... do I need to pay unfront then??     :P

Half upfront is the usual... ;)