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So, after a fairly long break I have decided to start a new story. It's pretty dark, but not a dystopian feel, I hope. It has lots of grit so far. I will be small in choices, but hopefully full of story. It's an idea I have been toying with for about 2 years now. I think I am ready to start putting it on paper. The editor will take some time to get used to again though. I look forward to making progress and reading new stories too! I finally loaded up my laptop, so I will have a better presence.

nate

From the first page. This is a first draft tone setter for the story.

 

They tell you you are blessed to be alive. those same assholes turn their nose up when they see that you piss through a catheter and poop in a bag. Those morons skim over the fact that you have no job, a 2% chance to ever walk again, and a mounting $200k medical bill that you can not pay. But yes, BLESSED, is what I am. Douchebags.

Haha.

Good luck with your game. I haven't had time to read your old ones yet. I'm slowly getting there, though. I just finished Kiel's today, and now I'm gonna finish the rest of Endmaster's before reading yours. I'm getting there, lol. Between writing my own stories and working from home, it's slow going...

Anyways, good luck! You did a good job getting the reader to relate to your character, something I sometimes struggle with. What you have so far is moving and really lets you see how the character is feeling. I like it. (Not that you need my approval or opinion, I just thought it was sad only Mason commented...)

"I just thought it was sad only Mason commented..."
- breezy134

Well then... xD

On topic, I might check the sneak preview version, but the sentence above has quite a lot of character.
I approve of character thoughts as well. I also like how much you actually said with so little space, it's good and has me wondering about all those thing.
Who's says your blessed (your family, friends, coworkers?) | What happened to your legs, that is a HUGE medical bill (to me anyway). And more stuff like that. :D

P.S. Cause motivation is good! And good stories are good.

SO keep writing, seems like it will be good. And honestly, if you have more then 2 pages your way ahead of me, so don't give up now. ;D

Hmm... wonder which story it is. xD

*Sniff*

Well, well, if you don't like me then you, you should just leave. People have, have feelings you know!

*Runs off crying*

Didn't mean any offense. But all you said was "haha." That's not really feasible feedback...

*Cries*

TBH I really didn't know what to say lol. Just waiting, for the others post, and then I will pull out some terrible pun or shit post, y'know.

I dig the cynicism. A very nice, quick punch tone setter.