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GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Exactly as it sounds.

The story I'm working on for Kiel's contest, Elidread, has a grand total of 0 pages so far. But I already have quite a few plans, so don't fear.

What the hell is Elidread, and why is it called that?

The most I can say without spoiling anything is that Elidread is set on Earth(?) after an unspecified apocalypse that has wiped out most of the human population. Elidread Lassimeyer, a prominent philanthropist and mysterious old person, decided to take the first step in rebuilding the Earth by spending the rest of his money on a tuition-free boarding school for all ages that eventually grows to become the most prominent building on the planet.

You are a first-year student (10 years of age at the beginning) at the Lassimeyer in the year 2500, about 75 years after the strange, unspecified apocalyptic event. Everybody's celebrating the half-millenial, and spirits are high. 

The game takes place over the course of your stay at the Lassimeyer, from age 10 to age 22. 

I can't really say much more.

So yeah.

I'll be posting status updates and previews on here, as well as answering questions. :)


GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

So this is a post-apocalypse game where you make a school...?


Okay then. Sounds interesting. (I'm not sure if I got that correct. Pretty sure I did though.)

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Well, it's a post-apocalypse where you play in a school. It's called Elidread because he made the school you're attending, and because he becomes a very important character throughout the story.

Depending on your actions throughout the story, Elidread Lassimeyer could serve as your best friend or as the primary antagonist.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Interesting. A storygame that would have also fit the bill for the apocalypse themed contest a while back.

You seem reluctant to give out too many details, so here's just one question: what do the pupils at Lassimeyer learn?

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

The pupils at Lassimeyer learn a little bit of history, quite a bit of mathematics and science, and a lot of combat and first aid. It's a cruel world.

What students learn also depends on their age, among other things; after all, the facility holds people from 3rd grade to college seniors.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Okay, you know what, no.

I have a very bad habit of overestimating my writing ability. This project would be easily over 2 to 3 hundred pages, and considering we have about a month... it just ain't gonna happen. At least not for this contest, anyway.

I'm now working on a new project for this motivational thread. It's called Super Popular and is a blatant parody of the whole High School Musical-esque school-based game.

You'll see.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

... Meh.


I didn't like Glee.

:/ was kinda hoping you'd make this one though lol

GL with the storygame, though.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

i will but not right now because i'd like to have a lot of time to really flesh the first one out

I didn't either. This is like a negative parody of things like Glee that also includes Satan worship, zombies, and international espionage.

You know, normal high school.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

... This I gotta see.


I bet there's going to be aliens.

Yep, normal high school indeed.


GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Current Progress: 

Fully completed pages: 6/???

Endings: 1/??? (it's the worst one, by the way)

Wow, so much progress.

Yeah, there's been some action, though. The game's already gotten super-duper-black-comedy-ish within about two pages (depending on your actions). 

I'll be willing to share some more details now that there's some actual (albiet small) progress had. So yeah.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

Preview 1




     Hey there, <insert name here>, what's poppin'? Do you want to know how to get everyone to like you, how to get a girl/boy/human-friend, and be the hottest chick/dude/human in town?

     Was that a nod? Of course it was! And if it wasn't you're a pitiful square. You don't want to be a square do you? Being fit to have one's entire existence described with the italicized name of a polygon isn't exactly, y'know, hip. So follow along. 

     You're reading Super Popular, a handy guide to the ins and outs of what's "in" and what's "out." If you want to be the most popular kid in your school, then read on for a ton of handy tips!

     To demonstrate this ton of tips to you, this guide will place you into a little story. In this story, you can be anyone you want to be! Haha, just kidding. Your entire personality is dictated by what others think of you- and that's just as it should be! Anyway...

     Because this guide is Super™-progressive, we won't place gender labels on you! You'll simply play through this game as an ambiguously-gendered teen set out to super-ify their popularity. Got it? Good.

     Here, click the "Start" link to start the story. Or don't. (Square.)



GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago

It's okay for a would-be parody storygame, but...

Girl/boy/human. <insert name here>. Chick/dude/human. Cringe. I've but three solutions for this:

1. Let the reader choose their gender via links and variables.

2. Let the reader choose their gender, but don't include things like "girl/boy/human."

3. Assign a name and gender to the reader: a preexisting character.

GMB13carat's Motivational Thread

8 years ago



What do you all think?

"Super Popular" I'm kind of iffy about... it's just not that strong an idea. But I'm conflicted.

I'm thinking of just publishing Year One of Elidread for the contest. Here's a sample page:


Will is on a train.


            He has snuck onto the Ceuron Tram after running away from his small-minded hometown of Berwyn in a desperate search for change.


“Change” is a simple six-letter word of which Willoughby R. Martins has desperately sought for ten years; ten arduous years of intellectual suffering at the hands of the simpletons who raised him.


            Personally, Will struggled to say they “raised” him, but he recognized that his parents had certainly taught him a lesson, whether they wanted to or not: Will was going to have to leave Berwyn if he ever wanted to have a chance to make a real difference in the world.


            Will saw that the world needed to change; it wasn’t hard to see. He had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, he could help to bring about that change. He had a thirst for knowledge, an insatiable curiosity, and a profound sense of logic, all of which led him to question everything and be satisfied with only the most efficient solution to a problem.


            Will was thoroughly hated by all of his neighbors.


            His parents did nothing but discourage his creativity throughout his entire life; they burned all his books, threw out his pens, and tore his paper to pieces. He cried in desperation. No one listened.


            Berwyn was a simple town.  It was structured upon values that were hundreds of years old- from the 1900s, even. Everyone seemed the same in Berwyn; few people had any opinions that were truly personal, any ideas truly ground-breaking. Will at first struggled to see why anyone would think less of someone because of such a silly thing as skin color, much less a whole village of people.  He came to understand, though: Berwyn was not a town where people changed.


            These are the things that Will has thought to himself during the seven-hour course of his train ride into Ceuron.


            Ceuron was a sparkling land of opportunity for Will. He knew practically nothing about it- just that it was immensely large and filled with all different kinds of people- but for Will, that was part of its charm.


            He is ready for an adventure.


What do you guys think - which story idea is more favorable?