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new story called shatters

9 years ago

So I'm writing a story, a novel actually. It's almost 70k words along, but only about 35k are accessible to the public. it's not on here because it is unfortunately not a cya

Here's the summary:

A sarcastic teenage boy gets a dog, who quickly shows him not everything is what they seem. In a tide of events, he is forced decide if he should trust the people who have been lying to him his whole life... or go with a shady, unorthodox group who might know the location of his father: the only person who can tell him who he truly is. But is it really his father who can answer his questions, when this journey has shown him so much? A story about growing up and taking life's punches, even when you're already down.

So doesn't tell you much but I'd be willing to go into it more on here such as

theres a shapeshifting dog

a government agent who's looking for his dad's killer

a milf guardian angel-like teacher

the sterotypical weirdo

doges.

I'm looking for some people who are interested in reading it and if they want to, ya'll can give feedback? If you don't like it I'm cool with that and you can tell me that bc I still consider it constructive criticism.

Also I may or may not need help writing fight scenes

(sorry kiel if i fckked up and didn't do this right again ;;;)

new story called shatters

9 years ago

I would love to read your storynovel! I'm more than happy to give you some feedback on it as well.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

<:D

well here's the link to where it's currently posted at

but like you dont have to make an account on there. Any comment you have feel free to msg me or reply here (if that's acceptable???)

I'm sorry I'm very new here
 

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Well welcome to the site! And as soon as I'm done reading it, I will give you my best form of constructive criticism on the reading as I can.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Why thank you :D

 

new story called shatters

9 years ago

So, after reading what was posted, I have to say that I think it's a fantastic read. What I really like about how you write the story is the vivid images that you leave imprinted in my mind. There are some spelling errors here and there, but that can be dealt with easily enough. The story itself might be a bit slow to start off, but really picks up pace after a couple of chapters, which I believe is a good thing. The only issue I really see with the story is the spelling errors, and that in the first couple of chapters, you may go into detail a bit too much, but at the same time, I like that there is enough information about the characters to depict a quality image in my mind. I will be waiting fervently for more chapters to be uploaded, and can not wait for the whole story to be finished. Good job so far, and good luck with the rest of the story!

new story called shatters

9 years ago

I saw this and forgot to reply!!! :;;;;A;;;;;; Thank you so much!

Hmm, how do you suggest I speed the story up? Get rid of something??? Skip a certain time or chapter? Shorten a desp?

Also yeah, my spelling is pretty atrocious considering I type so fast with only 3 out of my 10 fingers

 

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Well, to be quite honest, I don't really have answer to that question. I would maybe suggest shortening up a chapter before chapter 7 starts, because things really kick off then with the major part of the story and getting the reader all of the information they don't know about the plot. So yeah, anything before Phebe's fight maybe. And it's alright! There will be plenty of time to re-read and re-do all of the spelling later, just make sure that you can get what you think is the story down pat.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Hmmm... I could probably merge chapters 3 with 4 and 5 with 6 and then shorten them from there.

I mostly has them so long because of the massive amounts of characters I was suppose to introduce but never did.

 

That's probably my best bet

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Hey, whatever works for you man! The story does look really good so far, and I can't wait to read the whole thing.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

haha, thank you!!! Like I said, I update every Monday night, I might start updating more though, like on Thursdays or something.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

probably my even better option would to be to cut out 'Doge Dayz' entirly....

new story called shatters

9 years ago

If you do that, all you really got to worry about would be some simple rewording in the following chapters about Stella, and you should be good, if you want to do that.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

I decided to go back and just merged Tall Angels and Doge Dayz, since we wont ever see Stella again in the entire series. I just gotta go back and edit Cats, Mate

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Hey, strolling through the forums and saw this. As a writer, I have to tell you, it's rare to find people willing to lay down the time necessary to read and comment on something like you have. You're awesome. Keep it up.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Well thank you very much!

EDIT: Yeah, sorry, I just saw this today.

new story called shatters

9 years ago

on another note idc if you read the prologue and leave me a 'it's good lol' or read the whole thing and leave me an 8 paragraph review like

anything is good to me

new story called shatters

9 years ago

Ignore.

 

new story called shatters

9 years ago

For anyone reading my book, I now update every 2nd and 4th Thursday as well!!!

 

sorry for the necro