The night was cold and gray, not a star in sight. The clouds blocked them all, even the moon. The trees rustles with a chilly breeze as she searched for a sign of life, not even a snap of a twig from a squirrel. Then she sees a light from a building in the distance. The place looks like a hybrid between a barn and a cabin as she gets closer, shining the flashlight to find a way, but when she gets there, she didn’t know she was walking into a living nightmare.
Inside the building that looked like a hybrid between a barn and a cabin, she saw creatures that looked like…
…hybrids between cows and lumberjacks. Literally: instead of black-and-white spots, the bodies of these things were adorned with black-and-white plaid. They were chewing hay and wearing woolen touques.
As for the cheese they were producing, well…
First off, that’s disgusting...
The trees rustles with a chilly breeze as she searched for a sign of life, not even a snap of a twig from a squirrel."
Thanks for the corrections. A slight rush on my part.
No time limit, I just rushed the typing.
Now I regret letting the world see my ideas... Is there a way to take this all down?
Thanks for confirming my lack of writing skills. I’m working on something as we speak, but now as I’m looking for partners on the project, I find myself discouraged and not wanting to shall we say, cast pearls? Unless you are willing to partner with me on this project, I would prefer not to share my ideas anymore.
If I were you, I'd worry less about getting a partner on the project and more about improving your own skills. You don't need anyone else to help you write something good, you just need to sit down and crank the words out. If people tell you it's bad, there's a reason for it, and you need to take any advice or criticism they give you to heart. Once you've done that, either go back and fix the problem, or make something new with what you've learned in mind.
Right now, your problem is that you've hardly written anything whatsoever, or at least, you haven't shown us if you have. If I were you, I'd go write a short story of at least a thousand words, so you have something small under your belt, then post it in the creative corner for criticism. Writing anything of value takes time and a lot of it. Even a couple of pages can take a couple hours to get right with proper editing, a fact that most beginners don't understand right out of the gates. It's why so many people who've hardly written anything more than an occasional essay for school think they can hammer out a novel or full storygame in under a month. No one is going to want to partner with someone who hasn't gotten at least a small storygame under their belt (small being 10-15k words), or something of equivilent length, because they don't know if you've got what it takes to finish and make it good.
That said, you can get good, if you really want to. I'm sure you've had the phrase "practice makes perfect" drilled into your head since you were a small child, so adhere to it. You'll probably get some negative comments, (goodness knows I did), but that's just part of the process. I hope to see you make something interesting sometime in the future, because I know you can.
Quit trying to find a partner for this. It's an option, but it's usually one that's requested by noobs that want someone else to do their work for them. Don't be that guy.
Yeah. You're not good yet. I was the same when I got here. I'm still not good yet, but I don't write enough to change that. Poisonmara is night and day from when she started here. You can still choose which one of us you want to be like.
"Throwing pearls before swine" is a biblical parable about not presenting prescious things to people that will tear it apart. For one, you're going to need to show people what you wrote if you want to improve. Just like you did where all of your mistakes were pointed out. For two, you just called us all pigs. Be carefull with your parables.
It was sunset as they were driving to stay at her Grandpa’s. She knew he shouldn’t be driving drunk. He swerved and drove the car into a ditch hitting a tree. He was knocked out by the wreck and she got out of the car. The damage was extreme and the sun was setting quickly. She propped his body up and went to the trunk where they kept their luggage and got a flashlight. The sun was all but gone now and a breeze drifted, sending a chill through her royal blue sweater. She turns on the flashlight and goes out to the road. Looking both ways, she sees hardly anything that could help them in their predicament. She heads back to the car and sees a shack on a ridge. She climbs it and finds a half eaten turkey carcass. The shack itself is dilapidated and rotting away with a caved in roof and warped floor boards. Faintly smelling of cedar, the shack holds nothing that would help. She climbs down the ridge, but finds a trail winding in the direction of a mountain. She follows the trail having no other option. The trail becomes nonexistent as she starts hiking. The beam of her flashlight illuminates the trees around her and there was no sound but the rustling of the trees and the footfalls from her already worn sneakers. Not even a bird chirp, nor the chirping of crickets. The trail slowly becomes a hike, and the breeze picks up. She rubs her arms chilly and hungry from the hike. Not knowing what time it is and not seeing the stars, nor the moon above, adds to the desperate wish to find someone to help. As she continues, she sees a light from a window in the distance and starts towards it. The building is large and seems to be a hybrid between a cabin and a barn. It lies just over the ridge. She wades through tall grass brushing her jeans, and the cold night air blowing her face, to arrive at the building. The light is gone and there seems to be a door made of sheet metal. It’s so rusted, it doesn’t seem like it would open. There must be someone inside...
I created a non entity main character on purpose. Perhaps I need only flesh out the conceptual landscape in which this world is in. I was also saving certain details for the actual game itself. Tips on shaping the setting?
I have the exposition of my story... I apologize for my rudeness and reactions.
What do you all think?