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Assuming I actually finish my Edgelord storygame, I was planning on starting it very similarly to this (although that is subject to whims that rattle around in my head). Is this grammatically correct, and if so, is it horribly clunky and unappealing in terms of sentence structure?

 

At dawn he comes.

 

 

I can't explain why I want that sentence structure other than aesthetic reasons, but if it's not correct or if it's clunky, then I'll have to just go with the standard: "He comes at dawn." Also, if it is correct, am I supposed to have a comma after "dawn"?

I may change my mind and start liking the regular way of saying it, but I figured knowing the grammatical rules and favored writing aesthetics would be of use regardless.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it grammatically. Maybe a little "poetic", which might or might not fit what you're going for.

'He comes at dawn.' is just boring though, at least go with arrives if you end up using that structure.

"At dawn look to the east."

I was kind of going for that vibe, but I suppose it doesn't work this way. Back to the drawing board. Maybe I'll get the first sentence down by the day before the end of the contest.

I mean I thought the first example was fine, just a little unusual. Which isn't a bad thing.

This is much better

Well, I can't directly plagiarize Tolkien, but the vibe is nice and suspenseful.

Grammar rules only apply until they don't. As Gower might say, grammar rules are firm, but you can break them any time you have a good reason to.