Eating chop suey as a pastime activity.

Well, in that case, I'll call it pie and bake a cheesecake!

I really need to try making another cheesecake. Maybe I could make it a pumpkin apple cheesecake with a streusel topping, or perhaps a streusel crust. Wait, that's a cake. My bad.

I don't feel like there's all that much I can do with a line-by-line edit. You do a pretty good job of showing the characters' personalities through dialogue alone. I can imagine Dee rolling her eyes and the exasperation she might feel when she says, "Oh lord," and I can imagine how nervous the protagonist is. (Not going to lie though, I wish that imagery was written out instead of just in my head.) That said, I do have some personal nitpicks that might not make much of a difference:

“I was stuck in hyperspace before I got here,” I said. “I made a bad jump and I royally fucked the drive. Like, the wiring and the insulation had melted together… it was awful. I practically had to rebuild it from scratch.”

I feel like that ellipsis was a good place to add something, like his eye twitching at the memory, before saying it was awful. Something feels off about that "practically," but it's dialogue and "practically" is probably better than "pretty much." Edit: Looking at it again, I think "I had to practically rebuild it from scratch." would sound more natural.

“No, that’s not—Look, I just want you to understand where I’m coming from. My recent history. I just want to make it absolutely clear that I am no stranger to grappling with challenging mechanical problems.”

I'm not sure if I should read that part as "No, that's not!--" or "No, that's not.--" I'm not sure how proper it is to add punctuation before an em dash, but I think either adding that exclamation mark somewhere or putting an action tag between "No, that's not--" could improve that piece of dialogue.

“The dishwasher is in no worse a condition than it was this morning,” I assured. “In fact, the building has undergone no permenant structural damage of any kind—” “If I go in there, am I going to find my bar room flooded?” “Let’s not quibble about transient hypotheticals,” I dismissed. “The real question—”

I don't really like the "I dismissed" and "I assured" in this section. To me, it's pretty obvious that he's trying to assure her and dismiss her worries in the dialogue. If you don't want to just use "I said," I would at least consider replacing those with some kind of action instead.

I had been intending to block the doorway, but Dee shoved me aside with practically no effort, and I went pinwheeling down the steps.

The only major issue I have (which is still pretty minor compared to other things in this thread) is the "had been intending" part of this sentence. While there isn't anything wrong with it, it's a lot clunkier than just saying "I intended."

I, too, like potato juice. Especially when it is turned into vodka.

Post two hundred words of it in Gryphon's next Sentence Structure Thread, if he does another one, and I'll take a look at that. I'm not editing an entire story for you.

Is it about your penguin child you shat out yesterday?

No problem! I hope it didn't sound like I hate it because the world sounds interesting, and I actually like what you've shared about it so far. So, good luck, and I look forward to reading your story in the future!

This reads like an info dump (maybe a wall), and I'm not sure how to go about dealing with this, but I'll give it a shot.

"Welcome, students, to Fundamentals of Magic, one of the required courses for Novices." or Neonates, whatever they are calling you this year. The professor waves a hand, weaving a beautiful vision of the night sky above. " I hopefully you have all gotten settled in since your arrival. I am Professor Harlow., and today's lesson will be fairly short since it's our first class, day. and I'm sure having a little more time before your next class will be helpful. Now, how much history do you littles ones know?

The first thing that stands out is punctuation. I added the quotation mark at the beginning of the paragraph since I'm assuming the professor is saying this. Also added the comma after students.

At this point, I don't know how I'll change things, but in a multi-paragraph monologue, each paragraph will start with a quotation mark, but you won't add a quotation at the end of the paragraphs until you get to the end of the monologue. If this doesn't make sense, just let me know.

I looked up novice and neonate and made the decision for you. Neonate is a technical term for a newborn baby, which is where neonatal comes from. I also deleted the whatever part too; it just feels out of place to me.

The bolded sentence is there to break up dialogue. Do whatever you want, write whatever fits your world. I really would suggest giving the reader a little bit of space to absorb the information you're presenting if it's not optional.

Some edits I feel make the prose a little better.

I moved the first sentence of the next paragraph to the end of this one and added a seemingly missing "ones." If you don't want the kids to help with worldbuilding, I would suggest getting rid of this question. However, I would use this chance to introduce other characters that might be important and vary the tone in your info dump.

Now, how much history do you littles know? "Five hundred and twenty-five years ago, the Magemoon began to orbit the planet appeared in the planet's orbit. While it was not known at the time, The Magemoon emits a radiation known by many colloquial names, but formally as Dynami tis Silanis, or Lunar Power. This invisible and nearly-inescapable radiation has and continues to build up in the atmosphere, soil, water, and people on the planet.

I can't remember if this was in English, math, or a combination of both classes, but we learned putting and in a number like that turns it into a decimal. So, five hundred and twenty-five would be 500.25. I'm not sure how much a real editor would care about something like that, so take it as a nitpick. I also lowercased the rest of the number because it they aren't proper nouns and aren't the first words in a sentence.

"began to orbit" sounds clunky to me, so I changed it to something that gives an idea of how the Magemoon got there.

If there's a reason we need to know that they didn't know the moon irradiated the planet, you should probably expand on that "While it wasn't known at the time."

Deleted the colloquial names part because I feel "formally known as" is enough.

"Invisible" should be obvious, and if it's nearly inescapable, tell us how to escape it. The fact that the radiation has built up should be pretty obvious as well.

Added an Oxford comma after water, due to personal preference, and broke the text block into another paragraph.

"When the Magemoon first appeared, arcane workings could only be done with great effort, time, and usually only in direct view of the Magemoon. Nowadays, as I'm sure you are familiar know, many gifted children are able to perform common arcane feats are now able to be performed by particularly gifted children at almost any time." The illusion changes, showing the struggle to use magic and the ease that children are able to use it. "I would not be surprised at all to hear that if each of you have been able to consciously manifested effects prior to your invitation here, to Gwimmermort.

I added the quotation mark to show that Professor Harlowe is still speaking.

Edited the "Nowadays" sentence to be a little more concise and get rid of the passive voice. "Be performed" is how I know the sentence is passive.

Added some description to break up the dialogue. It's just an example.

After my addition, I eliminated wordiness that felt was unnecessary and added the comma after "here." I also broke the next part of the paragraph into its own paragraph since I think the subject kind of changes.

This variability in effectiveness of "Arcane workings, also known as Urges,--from the Greek suffix -urgy, which means 'to work',--lead to the ongoing development of technology and scientific principles. For some, this has led to the outlook of magic as merely another branch of science." The professor waves their hand and the illusion disappears. "I do not disagree with this view,. as Science is built upon reliable and repeatable principles, while magic or working, again due to the variability of Dynami tis Silanis concentration, relies much more on intuition and the ability to sense what one might be able to do."with the local variable resources.

I don't understand where the variability comes from. It sounds like you're talking about the radiation, but earlier you said that the radiation has built up over time, making it easier to perform magic. You didn't say the Magemoon was anything like the how the moon's position affects the tide. If you're talking about the variability in what someone might have a natural affinity for (like bad at illusions, but excellent at transmutation), then you need to clarify that.

I added em dashes around the language lesson to make it stand out from the rest of the sentence since it's an interjection.

Of course I added another sentence to break up the monologue. I also feel like breaking it up at this point gives more oomph to the professor's disagreement with the view.

Got rid of the "do not" and replaced the comma with a period since it feels like a strong statement that should stand on its own.

Deleted some wordiness, and again, you haven't given a reason for anyone to think that the radiation is variable. Does the radiation go away when someone uses it? How and why would there be any more or less radiation in a place?

Overall, it's hard to get a sense of who Professor Harlowe is because this is just an info dump without any space to characterize them. I think personality comes through in how a person speaks and what they do. If another human told me all of this, I would tune them out and start daydreaming. If I had to write something this way, I'd just have the protagonist tune it out and pay attention to everything but the person they should be listening to. At least we can see the professor might care a little bit about the students, though. Consider breaking up the dump with what the professor does or rewriting it into some kind of story. Here are some ideas for injecting personality:

Does the professor show off to the young, impressionable students?

Is the professor strict or imposing?

Does the professor enjoy telling stories

Does the professor speak formally or casually.

How is the professor's demeanor? Angry? Depressed? Genuinely happy to be there?

One more thing about worldbuilding: Forget everything you know about your world and try to look at through the reader's perspective. If any questions pop up, like they did with me, then there's missing information that a reader might need to know. What it looks like without formatting:

"Welcome, students, to Fundamentals of Magic, one of the required courses for Novices." The professor waves a hand, weaving a beautiful vision of the night sky above. " I hope you have all settled in since your arrival. I am Professor Harlow, and today's lesson will be fairly short since it's our first day. I'm sure a little time befor your next class will help. Now, how much history do you littles ones know? "Five hundred and twenty-five years ago, the Magemoon appeared in the planet's orbit. The Magemoon emits a radiation known formally as Dynami tis Silanis, or Lunar Power. This radiation continues to build up in the atmosphere, soil, water, and people on the planet. "When the Magemoon first appeared, arcane workings could only be done with great effort, time, and usually only in direct view of the Magemoon. Nowadays, as I'm sure you know, many gifted children are able to perform common arcane feats at almost any time." The illusion changes, showing the struggle to use magic and the ease that children are able to use it. "I would not be surprised if each of you have consciously manifested effects prior to your invitation here, to Gwimmermort. "Arcane workings, also known as Urges--from the Greek suffix -urgy, which means 'to work,--lead to the ongoing development of technology and scientific principles. For some, this has led to the outlook of magic as merely another branch of science." The professor waves their hand and the illusion disappears. "I disagree with this view. Science is built upon reliable and repeatable principles, while magic relies much more on intuition and the ability to sense what one might be able to do."

No! You drink the potatoes.

Beer potatoes are just unrefined vodka potatoes, and both are alcohol potatoes. So, I guess I'm cool with it.