A boring day

Another one of these. There's only so many times I'm going to do this for these poorly written lolrandom stories before I just give up. Death by a thousand crappy plots.

- "Thats when i realized I was going to have a really boring Saturday." That was when I realised this wasn't going to be a good story. Actually, it wasn't. I could tell this would be bad from the description. There's also a lack of punctuation, including (somehow) both the correct and incorrect capitalisation of 'I' in the same sentence.

- I doubt this is a serious attempt at a story, or at least hope it isn't for your sake, you know, mental capacity-wise. If it is, then you might want to not smash down the fourth wall and directly address the reader because it compromises the story. If not, it's probably best not to do it anyway unless you're trying to be funny. Even then, it has to be subtle and decent humour to be anything other than cringey.

- Bloody meta that. The whole 'go onto CYS and write a story and oh shit, you're reading the story you wrote right now and it's only a bloody infinite loop wahey!' and then you commence to infinite loop to sweet insanity. Great stuff.

- A measly 2000 words doesn't leave much room for branching, let alone plot (which doesn't exist in this story), so, as expected, it's linear. You supposedly have the choice to go on two websites, but the only one that's interesting makes you restart.

- "Your dad is going to be furious if he ever notices which, with a little bit of moving around the trophies on your window sill you can manage he won't." What?

- A lot of it is quite 'You do this. You do that.' Try using subordinate clauses at the start to create compound sentences. To be fair, I'd say this is one of the most difficult problems to overcome in any second perspective story, but especially in a CYOA seeing as it considers player choice. It's pretty hard to overcome because you can have perfect grammar and spelling and still face the problem of repetition. Reading out loud helps too.

- You change from past to present halfway through.

If you're going to write a story, please put some time and effort into thinking about a decent plot and proof-read it and then do it again.
2/8

Well... that was... interesting? I'm really not sure what to make of it. It was a little strange, mainly because nothing was really making any sense, especially the dream bit which added nothing to the story and confused me... and the squid? Where does some random squid come from? What type of person shoves themselves up a squid for others' amusement? The game was also extremely linear, thus restricting it to one pathline, which is a direct offense to interactive storytelling.

It's always so sad when you die. Does anyone else agree? No, but seriously, much more fun than homework. Thanks, and congrats.

nice game

A funny, random story with a hilarious plot twist.

This is boring and short and i don't know why you made it. I would have said good to poop on, but i feel like that's an insult to the poop. This seems pointless.

Lol....it was boring at first became interesting later :)

Boring, just as promised. At least you delivered.

no real story

That WAS a boring Saturday.