Dawnwood

I enjoyed the characters, who were both believable and humorous in their interactions with each other. Unlike some games, which portray teens in a type of '80s movie' format, shallow and two dimensional, this game portrays them in an realistic manner.

The villians I will say I had a hard time understanding. They just found a book as kids? They want to bring monsters to our world to end 'the insignificance of man?' That is a belief that many people hold, and it usually inspires them to find their own meaning. I don't really think that "anything is better than this" is valid either, since as we've seen in other stories involving Steve, notably Prophecy, there are MANY things that are possibly worse.

It would make more sense if they had opened communication with these beings, who promised them personal gain, such as wealth and power, if they were brought through.

I did enjoy how racial themes, like racism towards Kyle and Carter's family being Nazis, was handled in a joking, tounge-in-cheek manner.

Lastly, just a small nitpick: when in the RV, Drake discusses his breaking bad lifestyle. While bribing the small town cops to look the other way is certainly plausible, fact is that meth is generally stronger the more clear it is, hence the term 'crystal.' Meth with coloration in it has impurities, and any meth user who looks at blue meth is going to know that they're either being ripped off cause of the show, or they're gonna be suspicious that the dye is being used to hide impurities or 'trash' meth. Although I suppose since Drake was caught selling to middle schoolers, he may have been taking advantage of the gullible.
Either way, I did not sympathize with his death, he was rude and dismissive, was shown to have a poor moral compass, and there wasn't enough screen time to change that opinion.
I do think that the endings were handled well. Overall this was good writing.

This story feels rushed, almost like a linear story that was converted to interactive fiction at the last minute by adding false choices at various points, but it still has the makings of a great horror story.


Good:

1. This story had a cinematic feel to it. The beginning felt like a Goosebumps book, while the rest of it felt like a horror movie. With much revision, I could see movie studios purchasing this as a script.

2. The horror elements were particularly well done. The taut suspense in scenes kept me on my toes, the creepy small-town atmosphere and gory moments were effectively written, and there was an enjoyable contrast between the mundane everyday parts and the eventual horrifying interactions with the antagonists of the story.

3. How your earlier choices could lead to more options at the climax to reach different endings. I particularly enjoyed the drastic difference in tone of the ending that required a certain persistent action earlier in the story.

4. Little details, like Carter's racist father, the RV's, and Herr Eichel's hummed tune made the world feel more alive.


Bad:

1. The story was riddled with errors, ranging from typos and grammar to passages that were copy and pasted wholesale from other pages that shouldn't have been. Proofreading and revision is sorely needed.

2. The endings could have been expanded, like providing proper epilogues.


Ugly:

1. The story was extremely linear. With the exception of the scenes near the climax, most of the choices made no difference in the story whatsoever or led to the exact same destination page.

2. The characterization was weak on the whole. I had trouble remembering who was who because the characters were so generic and undifferentiated. Other than Ant, who had a notable origin for his name, none of the characters were particularly memorable. I especially wish the human villains were more fleshed out as characters, especially before they revealed themselves.

Dawnwood read like a 2nd draft to a great story. As is, there were parts that were bad, and there were also parts that were really good. Overall, it demonstrated talent and potential on the part of the author, as one who is capable of producing great works given more care and effort into revision and polish.

This is a very good, but extremely strange read. I don't know what else to say about it, its good, I love The Dead Man, and the comment: "I'm the Grim fucking Reaper." Made on one path where he basically goes fucking batshit and kills a ton of people. Death and Vengeance, the perfect combination.

It was good, though a little wierd

Bravo!

Weird.

Great Story, but the grammar is atrocious! This story has quite a bit of potential, but is filled with errors and misused words. Keep trying!

It's good but too short !

Loved it

I found around 5 endings and all I have to say is that you Sir... are THAT DUDE.