De Milite Inprudenti

Not badly written, but a lot of the choices seem redundant.

For starters, if this guy Vernon knows the dragon's weakness, why hasn't HE taken down the dragon yet? And how does he know? The Maze was frustrating, since there's no real rhyme or reason to it. Some storygames have a goal (such as reaching the center) and the choices you make in terms of which direction to go actually make sense.

As mentioned elsewhere, how is the player supposed to know what direction to go in, or why is it I can hit dodge 20 times cause that's the option that doesn't end in death, and still not get anywhere.

As seen on my page, I do love riddles, but the thing about riddles is, they're supposed to make you think. Does a tree make a sound if nobody hears it is not a riddle, it is basic logic.

While these have so far been critiques, it was a fun game to play at times, and the artwork on the pages was a nice way to get the player's attention. Some more work on a comprehensive path, rather than a bunch of random decisions that may or may not kill you, would vastly improve this promising game

Overall, the game's length is fine for what it is and I think making it longer would've hurt the game. It's clear that Knarr'ator is narrating the game and doesn't want the player to succeed.

I found the maze to be a clever little addition. You'd be lucky to get through it by randomly clicking directions and without a way to see what choices take you where, that's what you'd have to do. I mapped the maze out and it seems like you intended there to be two routes? One route goes through all of the choice clusters and the other skips a cluster until the second to last cluster. I don't know if the pattern it had followed until that point is intentional or not, but it feels like it is.

Personally, the options that loop back to previous clusters could be better balanced. The second cluster gets looped back to by four options, not including the options that loop back to themselves, while two others get looped to once and another is looped to twice.

Not quite enlightening, but definitely better than a Reese's Cup.

The first thing I want to point out about the storygame is the use of the dragon as the narrator. That was such a unique concept, and it really helps he storygame seem much more interesting. It was a very fun read, and is most definitely the best dragon-based game on the site.

The writing itself was very good, but sometimes it did feel a little weak at some points. I think there is a mistake as well, where you go through the hall of skulls and it takes you to the page after passing the lava pit. The whole storygame is basically climax, so it's very action-packed, but it just lacks everything else that makes a good storygame. It doesn't feel complete.

It was a little short as well, and it didn't hold up to its true potential. There was only a few characters with hardly and development, and each choice is basically a guess, rather than a calculated decision. I have high hopes for that other dragon game that I see you're working on. You did a good job with the use of the advanced editor.

There was no spelling or grammar mistakes that I noticed, and the only other stake was the one I had mentioned earlier about the hall of skulls and the lava pit. An enjoyable read. 5/8

Not badly written, but a lot of the choices seem redundant.

For starters, if this guy Vernon knows the dragon's weakness, why hasn't HE taken down the dragon yet? And how does he know? The Maze was frustrating, since there's no real rhyme or reason to it. Some storygames have a goal (such as reaching the center) and the choices you make in terms of which direction to go actually make sense.

As mentioned elsewhere, how is the player supposed to know what direction to go in, or why is it I can hit dodge 20 times cause that's the option that doesn't end in death, and still not get anywhere.

As seen on my page, I do love riddles, but the thing about riddles is, they're supposed to make you think. Does a tree make a sound if nobody hears it is not a riddle, it is basic logic.

While these have so far been critiques, it was a fun game to play at times, and the artwork on the pages was a nice way to get the player's attention. Some more work on a comprehensive path, rather than a bunch of random decisions that may or may not kill you, would vastly improve this promising game.

Very funny concept that makes good use of 1st person perspective. Prose was consistent all the way through and I liked how the perspective was entirely from the antagonist!

Main gripe is that its so short...its good for what it is though...but my gosh I would have loved to see this idea fleshed out more! Sometimes a simple well executed idea is all you need! A lot of the choices were not only fairly funny but actually made sense...like in the hall of skulls I got out of that first try just by thinking through properly what the best options were.

Idk if the maze has a solution but...I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't...

Good story game! May change my rating from a 5 to 6 if I feel like it later! :D

That's a funny one. I'm from the land of Sci-fi, and we don't see many dragons up there. So this was refreshing.
I'm just glad there was a back button or I wouldn't have made it.

Very intriguing story! I danced quite a bit with this story in middle school, but I thought that I would come back to it. Certainly fun and had me in laughs at times.

Holy shit, Brad actually wrote a storygame? And it's short enough that I just had to read it as soon as I saw it.

Well, it's short and sweet, filled with humor. The big baddie being the narrator is also quite interesting, and enjoyable. He's got a lot of personality, and I really enjoyed that part of the game.

The part that I DIDN'T enjoy was... the choices? Some of them seem totally random, like how the fuck am I supposed to know whether going left or right will let me survive the climb?

That's one example. Another was the stupid fucking maze that I got so lost in I eventually just went back to the beginning with the back button and went for the riddles instead.

I probably would have tanked the score hard for those things, but the actual writing was very enjoyable. You didn't fail to not disappoint, Brad!

Fun and amusing. Enjoyed the humor and thought that the story was very complete even with its short length.

It was preety fun. Really enjoyed it. The story could've used a bit more descriptive ending. Also, SPOILER ALERT, is there any way to beat the maze of twisty little passages. Another thing is that the rock climbing part felt pretty random.