Isabel's Next Adventure

The problem with many of these fanfiction stories is they don’t do enough to explain the context of the world around them, and most fanfiction stories are often to short to establish the world of said fanfiction and its characters.

This stories suffers from both symptoms of each. While I concede that the story itself you took inspiration from was interesting and unique, the execution of that idea was lacking. The points system and variables didn’t really matter.

The ending felt a bit rushed and some characters weren’t even introduced so there’s no context for who these people are. I need explanation! Just because you list tue story you are taking inspiration from, doesn’t mean I’m going to do research on it just to understand your story better. That said your grammar and what you did write was good but it needed clarification and expanding upon.

I remember reading Chains in school. I also know that there is already a second book. I don't know it's name but I thought it was good. But your story was good too. I can realize it was short because of a school project. I would like to see it revised later maybe?

7/10 +1 for nostalgia

It was good.

It was pretty good, but as I have never read Chains some of it was confusing. Maybe at the beginning write a summary of what happened in book.

This wasn't bad at all. People who haven't read Chains will probably get confused as to who all of these characters are, since the storygame assumes that you know who Hannah and Curzad are. Their names are invoked without any explanation. So as long as you've read the book (at least recently) then you'll be fine.

The plot here flows well but more description is needed in places. Chains is a great book and it's nice to see a storygame based on it.

It needs 2 be longer.

Pretty good! :D

It needs more pages and needs more choices. Other than that, pretty good. 4/8

Excellent work: well written, historically accurate and interesting :) I hope you write more historical stories in the future :)

This is actually pretty good. 5/8