Lonely boy

Black Keys fan maybe? Nah, it's probably a bit of a long shot.

"... but now that all of you're friends have found new people to hang out with your stuck alone..." I'm still looking for a storygame without any mistakes and, seeing as this was in the first paragraph, you don't quite make it.

In fact, there were quite a few mistakes like this, like the lack of paragraphing between different peoples' dialogue and incorrect syntax after dialogue (e.g: capital letters on words continuing the sentence after speech is finished). Still, they're very easily fixed if you want to polish this up.

Overall, I don't really know how to sum this up. This whole story was mediocre, but I did find pockets of interest. Some of the writing is just a bit wooden, though I feel that L&D is probably a difficult genre to pull off well so it's a good attempt.

I'm not gonna lie; I don't know much about this genre, but IMO a big problem is that you have like 3 love options (I think? There may have been more I didn't encounter). That means three times the work is needed to build up any form of connection to each love interest. If you really want, you could write more like 40000 words. However, what I'd suggest is bumping off your least two favourite girls (don't worry, it's not murder if they're fictional; I checked) and focusing on the building up the one you like best. That way, the reader can become more invested and actually feel more. At the end of the day, you want the reader to become attached to the MC and the interest.

I do have to give credit that this has above average effort put into it. I've read much worse quality stories with a sixth of the impressive 18000 word count.

Still, not bad!

My first ending was the 'It Takes Two' ending.
4/8

Not too shabby, I have to say. It had quite a few missed punctuations, and it took me a couple of tries to make sense of it. But anyway, not bad.
By the way the ending I got was: "Sexy beast ending"

Not bad but just...meh. It was a very good first try I think, and it certainly is better than a lot of the stuff posted on this site, but it was nothing remarkable. It was also littered with grammatical errors which was a bit of a nuisance at times. Overall I think the characters were developed ok for the amount of time allotted (I'm not sure if it was just my path but I don't think this should be 6/8 length) and the concept isn't too bad either.

P.S. I received the 'Friends Club' epilogue

Nice 11/10

I enjoyed it

it was gud^^

i wasn't bad, nor was it that good, but i did enjoy it !!

this story was amazing, i got two different endings, the one with them in an alley where he saved her and the one where they end up in the friends club

A little short

Good