MAG The college years, Freshman year.

that was not what i expected, certainly lower than my expectations. there are many grammar and spelling errors and the story did not flow properly

What the heck??? There was almost NO times when you could choose your own patj, and when you DID, you either died, or continued the 1-path story. So. Annoying.

No point of the game you have no name no room no anything

I just wanted this to be over so I could get my point and ended up randomly clicking.
The first page alone was giving me a headache when I tried to understand it.

Fuck this

The spelling and grammar really needs improving. One word on the spelling test was spelled wrong. The word was "complain" and it was spelled "c-o-m-p-l-i-a-n"

I don't know if this story can be saved.

The most obvious problem is the grammar. Please learn grammar. Spelling was better, excale that during the 'spelling' test the correct answer was complian (not complain, which is the correct spelling of the word).

Secondly, it is horribly linear. Most of the times it was struggling to read through a paragraph, having the option of one link to click at the bottom, and reading through another paragraph. Add links! We want options!

Thirdly, the plot. As far as I could tell, we started out in college, played hockey, went to a camp, and then ended up in Afghanistan? Plot twists are nice, but I just felt as if this was a but too much of sudden plot shifts.

If you really want to save your story, I suggest asking someone for help and maybe coauthoring.

bad bad spelling

This is un-FUCKING-acceptable. Atrocious grammar.0/8

You barely get to DO anything and you have only one option most of the time........ lame :( 2/8