Play Time in a Ghost Park

I'm sorry, this being your first game has nothing to do with grammar,unless English is a second language or something :P
Definitely not the worst on the site, but that's not saying much since we get a lot of games that are garbage.
It was very linear, with little detail or description.
Still, the writing itself wasn't terrible, so hopefully you will make a Second game that is better.

This game was cheesy and rather pointless. Often, I could not make sense of what the text meant. More than that, it was frustratingly linear and there was always a "right" choice--choosing the other choice just led to a link that was the other choice.

On the bright side, the writing in itself wasn't too bad, just misleading and confusing. Not too bad for a first try, but I suggest that all new users make a few test games that they don't publish before actually publishing one, instead of publishing many bad games. This was a 3/8--fix it and it could be a 5.

Grammar and spelling errors. I basically like this short story. I didn't like how it had no options at what I consider crucial moments. Those parts forced me to have to accept the choice -which is something I wouldn't have done. The ending doesn't seem like an ending either. It seems to be preparing me for more choices then...BOOM!...it's over. What?! It was a disappointing ending bc it shouldn't have ended.

I don't see why everyone hates this. It's fine!

Well, first of all, I have LOTS to say. Oh, by the way, your grammar doesn't have anything to do with this being your first story. At all. And that's not the only thing.

This was really boring. Like, honestly. Why did you make this? To experiment? To annoy other people? And why was it so short? I can understand that this is your first story, but my first story was incredibly detailed and was pretty darn long, not mention great in detail. (I lost the game though, due to glitches in the system.)

Anyways, this was just about the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
This is a very dumb one, as well. It was pointless and stupid. The next game will probably be the same. I personally think you should delete this game before other people see it.

Wow.
2/8

Too short, bland, and generally shitty.

Nicely done on your first game. I like the idea and the creepy descriptions about the park. It would be a little easier to read if you kept the pages about the same length, 2-4 paragraphs of 2-4 sentences each seems appropriate for this story.