Save Your Dragon

Amazing, this was quite an adventure! I really found the bond between Redscale and the protagonist to be one of the major highlights to this story, not that there weren't many highlights that I enjoyed. It's just that their bond was written well and in a very endearing way.

The combat in this game was pretty good as well, and the game felt long, but it never did feel like it was dragging on to it's destination.

There were some issues with the grammar, and some dialogue choices were rather oddly placed. It wasn't too bad that it curbed my enjoyment of this by much :)

All in all, this was very engaging.

Bad:
1)Linearity-wish I could choose more options
2)Spelling- at times it was off
3)dialogue- it was a little wierd sometimes
4)A little to fast paced- things could have been developed better.

Good:
1)Long- this was the perfect amount of length. Not to long or to short.
2)Battles- I really felt like I was the character in the fights which made them extremely enjoyable.
3)Characters- I found myself actually rooting for them and that I wanted to see more of them.
4) Inspiration- This was a very original game which I liked. Nice world you created.

Verdict:
A nice game overall. Though there were some flaws you more than made up for them. You had a great story and I loved the way it turned out. I sincerely hope that you make more.

Favorite parts: The battle against Quon

Nice job Killer.

6/8

yes

A quite boring game with no sense of choice.

kinda bored but still fun

One of the better dragon stories in the site. It might need some proofreading, but the story overall is nice. The combat system is fun.

The idea is really interesting, but jerky in its progression (too many 1-click pages). Desperately desperately needs a proofreader, there are so many grammatical and spelling issues here, the English expression is very poor.

Spell check.

There were some things a little off with this in my opinion.
As usual there are some spoilers in this so don't read this before you play.

First of all the grammar wasn't exactly the best. You had a few misspelled words in there and most sentences were very short and simple structured. Also the lenght of the pages varied quite a lot. Some were just about three or four sentences.

The detail was lacking in some descriptions. I did never really feel immersed in the story except maybe the fight scenes.

The story did (as far as I could find) only have one ending which is not ideal for a CYOA type of story. The paths also seemed to all lead to the same points in the storygame. It would have been a nice change up if there was an alternative where you could join Quon or maybe loose the battle. But I guess you mainly wanted to show your ideal story. Especially the first decisions seemed to be of the "Do what I want or die" kind.

Now I did like the overall plot of the story. It felt like you let the "Eragon" books inspire you while writing this. The characters were maybe a little to simple but they all had different personalities that made them unique.

The fighting scenes were in my opinion pretty well done. It was just a little to obvious that they ultimately lead to the same outcome. Maybe fleshing them out a bit more would have helped the story.

The bond between the protagonist and redscales was very well written and made me want to read the whole story more and more.

I also liked your decision of giving different colors to the dialogue in their mind so the reader was able to immediately understand if its a thought dialogue or a spoken one. It wade reading through the story more easy to follow.

All in all a quite good adventure story with a unique plot and some unexpected twists. 5/8 from me.

Good:
Nice plot, the whole story fits together
Plenty of options and multiple endings (and ways to die!!)

Bad:
COMMAS. Sentences like this: "Then I Warren accept your challenge...” could be easily avoided. Fix this one thing and you’ll be golden.
7/8