Slumber Party

One of the main issues with this particular game is that there doesn't seem to be a real goal here other than for your character to have a good time, which ... isn't exactly a bad goal, but you have to make the experience more interesting than just "you and your friends did this activity, so-and-so giggled, it was fun."

This game presents no challenge, no consequences, and honestly, no real choices, because there is literally no way to lose and no other outcome your character can have other than to have a good time. I mean, I can get there, then go straight to sleep, and it doesn't effect the ending. The story just insists I had fun, regardless of what I do. That's why it falls flat as a game, the player doesn't feel like they've really accomplished anything or like their choices even really matter.

Since the game is incredibly light on text, tone, content, and general length, I believe it was written either by a young writer or for very young players. So, yes, it's decent for what it is, in spite of me not enjoying it. There's nothing in here that's bad for kids.

(However, if you're trying to make it for the youth of today, why are you having them play boardgames? My sisters only play boardgames with our parents. Why not video games? Why not a wii / xbox dance party game, jamming out to ... whoever it is tween girls idolize these days?)

Truth be told, just because something is for kids does not mean it needs to be light, or short, or all smiles and rainbows-- Disney is an example of a company knows how to be interesting, even a little dark, while keeping both their kid and adult appeal. Maybe you should study up on more successful writers and try again.

I think Kiel Farren nailed all the points that were worth nailing.

There's nothing in this story except clicking, like, four/five links that bring you to: "you and your friends did this activity, so-and-so giggled, it was fun." (Kiel's sum btw). Then you sleep. KA-BOOM. THE END. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS. WOO. GAME OF THE YEAR.

All jokes aside, this story is just POINTLESS. That's the only thing that can describe it! Seriously. Nothing happens in this story. No relation to the characters, no plot shift, no anything. Just you giggling with your friends. Why is it POINTLESS, you may ask? Because there is no plot! There literally is no plot other than you ROFL'ing with your friends in a slumber party where you do four stupid things which don't impact this story at all.

I hope you ever look back at this and at least change it around or add something so that it actually has some hardness to it. Because it isn't getting any good ratings so far, and I doubt it will go very far.

P.S. I'm actually going to cut you back some slack, because I just visited your profile. If you are actually a 10 year old girl who watches MLP and is actually going to middle school this year, than these types of stories are okay I guess. But then, I was writing way more better things than this when I was going into the fifth grade! Still, at least I can confirm your age/grade and give you some credit.

My final rating is 2/8. Would've gave it a 1/8 had I not visited your profile first.

fun Sweet and Short. Love It!

It is slightly better than your other stories but still pretty bad. First of all it's short. You basically just pick a few pointless links, sleep, and you win. It's like the first Super Mario Bros. game. You go right, you keep going right, you go right some more and then you stop. You win. The grammar was simple and the characters were bland. There's no interactions with certain characters and you also get a s'more if you choose to make s'mores although the item is generally useless. Although it is better than your other games it is still bad. Slumber Party gets a 2/8.

It was kind of cute I guess.

Hmm...better than homework. You had me at Pinkie Pie.

This was dull and repetitive. Although it was fun imagining a male in the midst of this party - I actually think that was the only fun part.
This is not very life-like either; I hadn't ever a party where I did much more than eat popcorn and watch movies, but perhaps that's just me.

Boring game. The gender thing was just outright lazy in my opinion. There is no "game" to it. All it is, is you click this, then you go back, click this, go back and so on and so on. There are no "choices" nor is there a story. Grammar issues also

Alright as a first game, though could've been MUCH better. In the description ye say it is not gender biased & yet it doesn't say anything about the character ye play including gender (which should be added in as a choice& not just assuming ye are your own gender), along with the fact that males & females don't act the same way towards the opposite sex when doing those things. Also could've been MUCH longer but it is alright for a first game. Basically it is: somewhat fun, spunky, & goofy-silly type though do not hope for any background or intro because it's next to nothing.