Player Comments on The 46th Annual Hunger Games

I'm afraid this story suffers from the same problems as your first.

Problem number one: my character just killed five or six other kids, but I, the reader, feel nothing. Why? Because I don't even know what they look like. You give at least some of them names, but nothing more than that. Why should I care if all I see of someone is their name? Make me care. Tell me that the boy I just speared is afraid of dying, blood seeping into his coat and his short brown hair, gurgling as his eyes go dark. Make me feel, not just scratch off names.

Almost none of the scenery is described either. What if, instead of going to the Hunger Games movie, you were given a radio show. "District Five boy just killed District One boy." And that was all you got. Would you care? Could you even visualize the scene? We're meant to be in the story. Tell us what we see, hear, and smell in the forest. When we climb the tree, tell us what the bark feels like. Give us scrapes and bruises, stickiness of the sap. Make us feel like we're there.

Finally, there aren't really any choices in this game. Everything is either "you live" or "you die." There is only one right path leading to one ending, so there's no point in playing the story more than once. Give us multiple branches of story to choose from and more control over the character than "right" or "wrong". Make us want to see what happens next when we click a choice instead of "one of these is game over. Probably that one. Ok, let's move on."

Try reading some of the highly rated stories on the site. Endmaster, BerkaZerka, JJJthebanisher, these people are successful for a reason. When you write something, ask yourself, "if this was a novel, would people buy it? If this wasn't my story, would I play it twice?" When the total text in all branches of the story adds up to a page at most and there is no emotion or description at all, the answer to both will be "no".

good

Too short.

not good, doesn't make sense

it is so addicting

its great

It happened so fast, it was boring

This was just bad and extremely unlikely to happen in an hunger games

It has a nice concept but it was too short to develop any nice plot

Umm. Ok we're to begin. Well I one the whole thing the second time I tried so it is so easy.

Pretty good... if you are a beginner reader.

You can't hear a cannon if you have an arrow through your head...

I really didn't like this.

So, I'm writing my own Hunger Games storygame, and I was looking for inspiration. This was pretty bad.
1. Some of the tributes don't even have names!
2. It's not descriptive at all. Like you just spent 5 minutes on it.
3. There's no real choice. Only 2 choices each part and it's either 'you live' or 'you die'. I also found the reaccuring 'yes, you do' refrain very annoying. We're meant to choose ourselves!!
4. There's no description whatsoever. I really hope you hear me on this: description is extremely important. There was no scenery, no idea of where we were.
So, all in all, this wasn't very good.

Survived 1st try

That was incredibly short, undetailed, messy and ridiculous.

'''You rise up from a glass tube and arrive at the ground of the arena. The countdown starts. 10..... 9..... 8, you look around for a weapon. 7..... 6..... 5..... 4, you spot a spear but it is in the Cornucopia horn. 3.....2.....1...... GO! Everyone runs to the Cornucopia. Do you run for the spear? Yes, you do.'''


WHAT?! Ok, let me get this straight. Aren't these games supposed to be about CHOOSING?! You don't choose for them!

If I could give this a 0 I would. Honestly, this is the worst game I've ever played, and I'm not sorry for being harsh.
You better step up your game because this is, well, crap.

i loved this so much make more hunger games

an pretty awesome game

Soo short and needs sooo much more work. 1/8

In my role as "Boy from District Five" I feel my character could have been explored more. I got a list of 24 names and a few terse descriptions that basically told me I had killed some people and that was that. You completely cut out the personalities and conflicts that made the Hunger Games series successful in the first place, it's not just all about the killing you know :)

I won the hunger games!!!

It was short and boring, and since this is a nonfiction not loyal to the books and/or movie. Hunger Games last a few weeks, not two days. Boring action.

I made a hunger games one WAY worse than this, but I think that it would be better if the author wasn't like "yes, you do it is the safest choice" ruining the point of a story game.

This is boring........! This is
"Choose your own adventure" not
" I'll choose the adventure for you, you just choose how you die"! You have to fix this! Make it better then this, don't tell them what they get, give them a choice!!

It's pretty short for a Hunger Games storygame. I also have no choice in which weapon I should choose.

Not too good. There were no descriptions of people, weapons, and the correct answer was always spear. The only reason I gave this a 4/8 was because you made me laugh when someone missed me with an arrow from 3 feet away.

I haven't even watched or read the hunger games, so I thought this would be better than it would be if I have. Turns out that wasn't true.

This isn't too bad in principle, but you need to explain, narate and describe more. Why am I killing people? What am I doing? Where am I going? What is the atmosphere like? What are my options? Make it a more indepth experience.

Choices which are effectively click 1 to kill or 2 to die usually result in boring stories.

NO. -_-

After reading this, I feel no reason to doubt our generation will be successful. I'm gonna go kill a few puppies, decapitate a few children, crucify an old woman, and then drink a fuck ton of bleach. Fuck you. I fucking hate Hunger Games, and now I hate you! For fuck's sake! 1/8.

This had some of the most appaling grammar I have ever seen, a general lack of story or character , had no meaningful choices, and was as boring as shit.

2/8

"Well the people that DO have names were supposed to be in the story and the blank people were just the other people not included with the expirience." - Yeah, that was a very bad idea.

This was a very bad FAN FICTION.
The formatting was very bad and even made it hard to read at times, also, on the first page, some of the district people have no names. You also gave us no back story whatsoever.

Lastly, it gave me a knife even though I never collected on and it only has one path. This is extremely linear.

This was terrible, I love the Hunger Games but this just puts it to shame

Just not worth playing. If you're going to make something like this, make it well.

It could be longer and more developed, like give it more story, and be more descriptive.

I liked the hunger games, I did not like this.

Fast, and boring.

Fast, boring and bad. A waste of time...

Good Intensions with this game, you should have made the games much more longer and challenging, by adding it variables and items. The characters were hardly developed, but next time try approaching the game by adding more elements from the books, including interviews with variables to help your chances of winning and alliances with members too.

boring got it on first go (without cheating) honestly would have prefered if it was more like an actual survival game

If you want people to emphasize with, or even give a damn about the character they're controlling you have to give us more insight into his thoughts and feelings than just deciding to go to sleep or keep watch. What's his life like at home? How does he feel about the games? Does he feel guilty or upset about the other tributes dying? Only dealing with how he kills the other tributes makes it seem like this boy cares about nothing but winning the games, and makes it seem that you COMPLETELY missed the point of the book.

First of all...

DETAIL. This doesn't feel anything at all like a Hunger Game, which involves variables of food, water, overall health, mental health, etc. Nothing is really planned or strategized, and the fight scenes are just random hit-and-miss drafts.

SLOW DOWN. I konw you want to create a quality game, but what you're feeding us is the skeleton. Perhaps better character interactions will be needed, because I cannot connect, I cannot feel, I cannot be the character you want me to be if I have my life story dumped in front of my without any interactions with the family, friends, trainers, and other contestants.

So please, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

instant live or death situations just make it a matter of luck rather than skill or any real thought required. There is a 50/50 chance that you will live from each choice that means in order to win and live all someone has to do is pick life and backtrack if they died. The whole point of a survival game is the variables. How much water and food do I have? Can I find shelter? am I going insane? Some sort of gage that shortens over time but can be replenished.

Sorry, Sszinid. I will try my best next time. I will read one of the stories you suggested. I'm also making a new story. Please read it and give a rating on it. Also give some greater advice. Keep in mind, I am new to this.

It was not very descriptive and I noticed that some tributes don't even have names

I liked it. I liked it. I have never read or watched the hunger games and after playing this game I think I never will. But the game itself was good. Could you read my latest game Testing Dont Play or my better one, Pet or Pet? Tell me what you think.

Well the people that DO have names were supposed to be in the story and the blank people were just the other people not included with the expirience.

Some of the people don't even have names...
Come on man :l