The Drugs Wouldn't Stop The Nightmares, Chapter One.

I didn't like it much.

First of all, it's another one of those two minute storygames that claim to just be chapter one, but then the rest never gets published. It makes it feel like a demo and it feels incomplete.

The writing was pretty decent, I would have added more detail though. The nightmares were pretty creative and fun to read through.

The plot itself seemed a bit cliche to me, but it was very well fleshed out. I would have had more character development if I were you, which is quite crucial in these whole "I don't remember anything," pieces.

I would have really liked a backstory, but I guess that was planned for the future chapters that never got published, and probably never will for that matter.

The small amount of branching was a bit annoying, but I guess there were a few paths. However, the short length doesn't really go with the branching very well...

3/8.

The writing and premise are good. The nightmares are creative enough to motivate me to play multiple times to read about all of them. I just want to see more than the short stories I read. I hope Chapter Two has more creative nightmares and gives some satisfying backstory on the protagonist.

This is a classic example of a writer trying to find his own style by changing the rules of grammar to suit his whims. It really doesn't work and all it does do is distract the reader. When you use more sentence fragments than actual sentences, the reader no longer is able to focus on your plot and can only attempt to struggle through reading your words. Essentially, they cannot see what you are saying, they can only see how you are saying it. You need to learn to write in conventional English before you will be able to properly tell a story. Cut out the sentence fragments, stop repeating yourself and find a way to use words instead of grammar to convey a mood. I suggest reading the top storygames on the site (particularly anything by Endmaster) to see what I'm saying.

Blah Blah blah. Comment Comment Bad.

Jesus Christ. what a happy ending(not sarcastic)
;D glad our wife sucked us

I don't want to sound whiny but you can die way to easy, I was not given any clue that going to my wife would kill me yet it did.

Do better drugs.

Pretty lame.

Good but not great. Intro needs to set the scene better and story could do with being longer.

Well written and fun but needs to be longer.