Woban Island

Alright, my first comment was posted before running through all the major paths. Consider this an add-on.

Somehow I knew one of the Boston landmarks would be Fenway due to hints in the path I played before. Tons of baseball lore is introduced by the Uber driver and the meeting with Mr. Bellinger. Makes sense for the city you're in. As somewhat of a ball fan myself, the timing did feel a bit off with the discussion about the world series. The characters seemed to discuss the Red Sox’s win as recent, while the Nats just won. It doesn't take away from the story though, just an observation that a sports fan would notice. It’s fitting that baseball appears a lot in Woban Island because I can’t hear “Bellinger” without thinking of Cody Bellinger from the Dodgers. Even better, Los Angeles is briefly mentioned in the story.

Speaking of which, I’m not sure how many people would catch the name of the boat, The Big Papi. I did, and it was a nice Easter egg to discover. As I did not meet Mr. Bellinger in the first path I played, it was interesting to meet him face to face and learn about his outlook on life. “It’s all a game and he’s in control.” Also, I have a feeling the detailed list of gear purchased at REI is Bill's wishlist. Better forward a copy to Santa.

Mr. B himself seems like the typical rich employer with countless (priceless) artifacts and a reassuring whiskey glass in hand, despite the time of the day. All he’s missing is a black swivel chair and a small lapdog. The journey to the island on this path is vastly different than the one I played earlier. The one before, you’re on a rust-gathering HIV needle-infested boat, and this one is like a Caribbean cruise, with a skimpy reporter no doubt. And true to their nature, she skips out during the night. Immersive AND realistic. Nice touch.

The journey through the island is consistent with the first path I played. It's dangerous and the death links are well-written. I think I preferred the island navigation in this branch rather than the Cheers branch due to the Woban interactions and other cast of characters. This second comment is less a review and more focused on fun things I noticed. I gave Woban Island an 8 on my first play-through and gladly did again to reach the comment posting section.

This is a long and well written game! It is good, despite taking awhile to get into (in my opinion). Not having played the board game did not affect the enjoyment of the story, and it was a great exploration game! That being said, it was not without flaws. I always include spoilers, so enjoy the game before you read the comments.

Grammar did not have much to talk about. The game was well polished with few mistakes. I never felt it was hard to read the game because of grammar or mechanics. I will list a few MINOR things I did notice, though.

-general- The use of em-dashes was a bit strange to me, but this could be because I am not used to them. The first page had a lot, as if the author was excited to finally use them in a story, but they were all correct. My understanding is that em-dashes replace commas while adding emphasis. Overusing them made them lose their effect on the first page. Likewise, in places where the sentence was "text--text,text" I was confused. Is this being emphasized or half-emphasized? Not that this is a big issue...

-pg 18- The sentence about Walter's life philosophy has a sentence that goes "independent clause: independent clause: independent clause." This is correct but repetitive. On the same page, when first talking about Woban island, there is a sentence that reads "it's next to Auri island, isn't?" This needs an "it" at the end.

-pg 3- 1st para- ", however;" should be "; however," (I think)

That is it for grammar stuff that I found, nothing there really matters... I will move on to the actual story and plot next.

Intros:

- The beginning was slow with very few choices. This made it hard to get into the story, despite being well written. I did not think a lot of the info was important, like in Marooned on Giri Minor when the author had to create a fantasy world, so it was hard to tackle the text walls. So much time was spent on getting to Fenway Park, describing it, and making sure you knew the protagonist didn't like baseball, that I expected the Woban's to have a baseball team. They did not. That being said, all the descriptions were amazing and you felt like you were there. On a similar note I have never seen "Cheers" so the intro to that branch didn't appeal to me. I did think the "Cheers" branch got off to a quicker start.

-Port and Starboard are nautical terms and would not be used on an airplane, again, this does not really matter.

-A note about "death pages too soon"- I get that the author doesn't like to put death pages too soon into the story, but I did not feel the one early death scene took anything away from the start. If anything it added to it, and I might have wanted more options early on to break up the text walls... even if they were quick deaths. This is a major preference/opinion thing though. I got bored when I made one choice in the first 5-6 pages on my first play through (Walter branch).

Once you got on the island:

- There was some great imagery, metaphors, and similes. These descriptions were so good I felt like I was really at the island, and the story picked up considerably here.

- Everything on the island was exciting, even the quick death branches. The only exception was the Woban dialogue. I feel like a lot of effort went into making that, with pages of conversations between Wobans. If the author did this so someone could figure out the Woban language I am impressed and in awe of the creativity; however, I simply skimmed these pages for English and got no value out of it.

- I really liked the Meredith and "Meredith's secret" twist, but I feel like it was fumbled. After learning Meredith's secret (which you can do on several branches) you always die within two pages. You never get the info and get to make an intelligent choice with it. It added to the story, and I get that there is a limit to branching in terms of the size of the story, but I wish I could have used the info. One branch where Meredith tells me her secret, I live, and we stop climbing the mountain to look for the real stone would be appreciated. What is the point of "Meredith's Secret" if you never use it? To make things worse you find both the real and fake stone by sheer luck choices, without knowing what Meredith knows on those branches.

- I did not like that there was no way to get the real stone on the Walter branch, although I really loved the writing and thought all of the paths that do exist are well done. This might just be a preference thing.

-The author never just says you die; rather, he makes a fun little branch with one or two choices and several different, elaborate deaths that are just as entertaining as a victory branch.

- The choice between two words I didn't know was a little frustrating. It was easily fixed by picked both choices, pressing back, reading the dead end first, and continuing, but still it was the classic "left or right with no foreshadowing" choice. Again, if there was a way to decipher the language I am very impressed and take this back, but I didn't sit there and think "I wonder if I can crack this language and understand it!" There was even a linguist you met that implied he figured it out, but never told YOU how to translate. You also die a page or two after talking to him regardless of choice... I will say that I can not think of a better way to write this scene, and it was very fun and well written regardless. I liked the story, but it did have these frustrating parts.

-The Cheers employer and branch is better, in my opinion, but I did think it was very strange that the only "winning" ending was on a branch that starts with you trusting a... Hitman? Goon? Not sure what to call him, but you have to randomly trust a shady figure on a plane to get to the only winning branch. It is really good, but seems counter intuitive.

Ultimately, this story is exciting and fun once you get to the island. Even the deaths are amazing stories worth playing! The downsides are that you didn't feel in control with your choices, often choosing between dying in 3 pages or dying in 4 on an elaborate no way to win branch. I still highly recommend it, but prepare to be mildly frustrated as you think "there is literally no way to accomplish this mission!"

P.S. If you started this wen 13 I am very impressed. Your original game book looks really cool, and your 13 year old self may have been a better author than I am now.

for fans of Indiana Jones and the temple of doom. Top notch!

This was definitely a fantastic story game. One of my favorites of the site. I almost gave up after blundering into every possible bad end on the first click, but I stuck with it and was able to get a decisive finish! The excellent writing made my decision to stick with it very easy. Great drama, great action!

Simply marvelous. Your writing style is fantastic. Your world is well built and your characters fleshed out. The story doesn't feel rushed or unplanned. You clearly put a lot of thought into your work. I remember the game this was based on and I think it is a good reflection of it. I hope that your other works are just as entertaining.

Wow... okay, this was written by a strong writer, and I dare say with a bit of professional editing, this would be good enough to sell. Little things like capitalizing Buffalo (as in Buffalo wings) or adding an extra L to "Cabela's" and that kind of thing were a bit jarring.

I like the excitement of this story and where it might possibly go (I died rather early, I must admit), but it's beyond weird that people in French Polynesia are speaking Hawaiian and PERFECT Hawaiian to boot. I'm guessing you just wanted something exotic and Google translate doesn't have Tongan or Rapa.

Furthermore, this is nitpicking quite a bit, but there's no way anyone would sail from Hawaii to French Polynesia due to the way the ocean currents work (a far better departure site would be Samoa). And most of the islands near Tahiti are surrounded by coral reefs which would shred a rubber boat to pieces.

Again though, just "nitpicking" here for what is obviously a really cool story that is written coherently, engagingly, and with a radiant sense of enthusiasm. Even has that "boys own adventure" vibe of something out of the 1940s pulp fiction era, so I really love it.

Hope this rating gets you over the top!

This storygame is great! I lost so many times in this game but I just had to keep going, to reach the gem on Woban Island! There are alot of tricky choices and decisions to be made. All of it flows together very nicely. Definitely worth the read!

Many paths, a vast island, and Woban poeple all make it exciting! Nice piece of work.

I couldn't get the treasure, but I enjoyed it.

shit. Everyway you die