You're A Lizard, Harry!

Truly the BOOBS!!! of the new generation.

Liminal, this is brilliant :D You have nailed the cliches of a certain (very) special kind of writer and this story is a brilliant example of a particular way of writing (there will be some cretins out there who can’t recognize true beauty when they see it and will criticize you. Verbally incinerate them). You portray a certain kind of UK accent very well. Obviously, there are a lot of words and some of them are spelt correctly or put in the right order, a lack of originality which I found frankly disappointing at times, but I think I can ignore that to focus on the true beauty of what you have created.

In some ways I feel this is a significant improvement on the original as it is more suitable for millennials and much more original in both dialogue and prose. I think it was an error on the part of the author that Dudley survived the snake but I like the single use of the word “space”. I think the lack of choices in a cys is a brilliant narrative choice and I liked Drigah (this part seems like something Sent would write as well!). I also like the fact that this story doesn’t use capitals but spells onomatopoeia correctly.

Obviously, a piece of art like this is above criticism (some might also say beyond praise as well) but I humbly beg the writer’s pardon to point out the one single, obvious, irredeemable flaw in this: it’s not longer. I feel it’s possible we might have skipped a few bits in the story here and there and would very much like to see a full, more fleshed-out version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or possibly, the entire series or even other classical works like The Lord of the Things, er Rings) given this author’s fantastic writing style and treatment. What of Fluffy, the tree-headed God? Snape, the Photos Master? Or even Dumbledoor, the principle and headmonster of Hogwarts? There is so much potential here, so much raw… something. Great work :D

This is a really funny satire of the noob's first shitty fanfic before they get inevitably smited (smote? smitten? for fuck's sake i don't care i'm tired). Harry Potter is an especially good choice for this as that franchise tends to aggregate some of the shittiest entries in the realm of fanfiction written by elementary schoolers.

I think the full commitment to the bit does hinder it even in a satire though. A lack of real choice in a CYOA game, as well as an abominably tiny and rushed game altogether, are in fact core elements of a shitty CYS story, but I feel like the fact that this *is* satire is literally the only thing keeping it from getting forcibly unpublished and tucked into a closet with a black hole in it. There are literally endless possibilities for mocking bad fanfiction, and I would've loved to see some of these here. Unfortunately it just isn't there.

Yeah, this is a funny five-minute read regardless. The author definitely accomplished what they set out to do, but take it for what it is.

It is still so, so much better than anything legitimate that JK Rowling has ever released though.

3/8 needs more transphobia

Obviously it's a joke game but I can't tell if the author got lazy near the end orif that's just more commentary on lazy noobs. But I would've given it a higher rating if the second half had as much actual writing as the first half. It was funny it was just like the author got bored of the joke too fast to do really anything with it.

y is dis gaem so gud?

First, well done spelling "Dirgah" wrong. A nice easter egg for "true Harry Potter" fans. I'm not one, though I did enjoy the movies.

Mostly this story seems to be kind of satirizing a type of noob voice—which is a slick move since this is your first storygame.

The negatives are mainly related to (lack of) choice and originality. Joke games are fine, and joke fanfics are fine too. But pure originality carries a lot more weight. Not that fanfics can't be good, but kind of making fun or satirizing is only good for this kind of story: short, kind of soulless, but humorous. On the other hand, serious fanfic is risky. One could end up looking really stupid doing serious fanfic.

Which is why for your next storygame I hope it is purely original content.

Anyway, this story had some meta-level humor which might be lost on some readers, but others will get a kick on it. The "lyk dis" spelling, all caps yelling, fourth wall breaking. This seems to be self-aware and mocking, which makes it better than just shit tier fanfic.

So yeah, or a first outing, this isn't bad, and it allows you to get your feet wet on writing and publishing.

I look forward to your original works to come.

Fake fan. Harry isn’t a lizard.

Played it yet again. Sorry but this is pure gold. whoever that guy is who said "Trash", look in a mirror.

my name is dilly, this is very important to know, thats some good stuff.