Player Comments on A Bird in a Cage

The magic system is interesting, and I'd like to see more of it. The story is a bit short, but the world is well-crafted, and the choices lead to very different, but equally interesting conclusions. At first I was concerned the protagonist was going to be too OP, but swiftly he got his ass kicked, revealing levels of power in this world. That alleviated my initial concern.

It does seem like this is kind of a prologue though, or a single adventure in a series (although I don't see the "Part of a series" tag). Still, it's good. Worth the read.

Overall, a good story with an interesting magic system and world.

7/8- Really enjoyed the story telling on this one. The descriptions were wonderful at helping set the scenes, and made for great characters

Pretty good story!

Ethan's struggle with his own thoughts is a high point in my opinion. The easiest thing to do when you've done something wrong is to convince yourself that you did in fact do the right thing. Ethan dismissing his own conscience as the sparrow's magic felt completely natural. The subsequent realization and acceptance of the truth also hits hard. I thought the protagonist's internal conflict was done really well here.

I am confused as to why he tries to attack the angel (who I'm assuming was the sparrow, the story just refers to the angel as her) in the ending where Ethan is serving as an acolyte in the temple. I feel like it would've been fine ending the story with the "There's nothing lowly about living in the light," quote. The extra page just seemed unnecessary.

Other than that, it was a fun, short read. Nice work!

Sound idea, poor execution.

It’s a very solid premise and there’s obviously a lot of creativity behind the story, but unfortunately it’s somewhat lackluster and unpolished on a technical level. Between the bizarre word choices, sentence structure that makes it hard to immediately understand what’s going on at time and a major pacing issue reading A Bird in a Cage is not the smoothest experience.

Consistency is also an issue with various plot holes throughout the game that seem to step from a certain vision for a scene or plotpoint without much regard on how the story actually gets there. This issue is only amplified by the very rushed pace of the story, which isn’t inherently bad considering the 3-day time limit creating the premise’s backbone, but barely a slice of those 3 is actually utilized which makes the whole thing feel forcefully compressed.

The protagonist is perhaps the biggest victim of this compression as he contradicts his own thoughts within a few paragraphs of each other in a way that can’t really be excusable by his circumstances and outright breaks one of the endings. Other characters aren’t really characters, but with how little time and development they get that at least is understandable.

A Bird in a Cage is a fine display of the author’s creative potential, but also proof that there is still a lot of experience he needs to gain to realize that potential.

Final score: 3/8

Haha. Godly furry. Haha.
Anyway onto the serious part of the comment.
I'm on my way through all these new games, trying to use As Ink as a sort of self-bribe (I love Sherbet's games) and I come upon this, with one 1 rating. So I'm expecting to slog through it, but to my surprise, it was pretty enjoyable for the length. Except that one grammatical error I simply cannot get over- it was so funny and I've got no idea why. 'Godly furry' just in such a serious story, the extra R absolutely sent me into a 5 minute laughing fit.
Other than that, great story, MrAce321. Wish it were longer and a bit more fleshed out, but I enjoyed the world-building.