A Hill to Die On

This was a fun read! The grammar and spelling were okay, nothing super notable jumped out, except for the spacing between the paragraphs – that bugged me a little bit. Minor things to consider:

- On the “Hold the Crossings” page, paragraph 6, add a “by” after “preparing”. There are also some fragmented sentences that might flow better if you connect them to other sentences.
- On the “Charge” page, there’s no need for a comma to be after Gorbak in the last paragraph. Honestly there’s a lot of sentences that don’t necessarily need commas.

Prose succeeded in evoking the vibes of a classic Viking fantasy, and I loved their names, haha. The banter didn’t feel forced, and I liked the mug joke.

Since it was short, I played through it a couple of times, and I had one pathing note. On the “Hold the Hill” page, both choices read as the same. I read the page a few times, and each of the pages and they seem like they’re the same choice (closing the gap), worded differently, with different results.

Overall, I liked this, even if it turns out I’m a horrible strategist. It had some replay value considering the decent number of branches for how short it was. I also agree with Milton about the magic!

Bold, gory, and action-packed. The story was filled with battle scenes and various brutalities of war. One moment you could be felling dozens of foes, and the next you're coldly reminded of your mortality by a singular arrow.

While your backstory and worldbuilding aren't the most developed, the story works well as a self-contained event.

An appropriately satisfying and quick war story. Good stuff.

A nice, bloody tale! It clearly drips with historical inspiration from viking raiders. The action is very well told and flows smoothly. I also liked what we got from the characters. You're not supposed to like these guys, but you don't have to. It's just got to be a good, violent time!

While there is a technical fantasy element, the idea of magic isn't really explored here that much. It doesn't even seem to be necessary for the story, which isn't a bad thing. However, I would be curious about a version of this story where magic is a more prominent element that effects warfare in specific, more descriptive ways. Perhaps have the idea of changing fate?

All in all, an enjoyable storygame. Never try to pay off a barbarian. He'll just come back to get the rest later!

A good story