Era of Shadows: The Cloaked Dagger

This was an excellent first game. Generally well written and engaging.

The things I especially appreciated were:
The detail level and amount of writing given to each page, compared to most new stories on here both were high which added greatly to the readability and enjoyment.

I liked the different choices, I need to go back through and follow more paths as I was very successful the first time through and need to see more loosing paths to fully judge.

The variables worked well, even if I am yet to fail anything.

One thing I would say though against it is that despite the great branches, the overall length is short. This is clearly due to it just being a Part 1 as indicated by the ending screens but it would be much better if it was a lot longer. We tend not to like broken up stories here as they are usually too short, yours luckily was long enough by itself not to attract this ire though.

Excellent use of the Advanced Editor, good writing and enjoyable characters make this an interesting tactical story-game, a good combination of story and game. The instructions and lack of options at the beginning slow the opening down a little but it is difficult to avoid this I find. I would agree with the last comment about not liking the sudden ending just as we were getting into it, it's important to have some closure or the reader feels a bit cheated. A successful ending to the mission followed by a "wait where's (name)..." is a good mix of cliff-hanger and closure :) But I look forward to seeing more, 7/8.

Overall, this is a very engaging story that makes very good use of the advanced editor (and will probably continue to do in the future), and is very well written.

However, there are three problems I had with the story. The first is very minor, which is the sparse (though noticeable) amount of small grammar mistakes. IT just requires a little bit better proofreading.

The second, lies with the introduction part, when you explain the concept of tension and awareness. I like the fact that you included them and described them well enough, but I personally do not see the need or reason to keep them on two separate pages. Whether it be just for the sake of adding pages, for comedy, or for some other reason, is irrelevant; it seemed a little too weird.

My last issue is the fact that you stopped the story just when it was getting really good!!!! I know that this complaint is stupid and that I personally hate cliff hangers, but dang it, man!

It is primarily because of the latter complaint, but even so, from objectivity standards, this can be no higher than a 5/8.

If you create the other portions, and then combine them into a massive story later on, you can be sure that I will rate that one and give it a 6/8 or better (depending on how you write the rest, of course).

Keep up the good work!

The only reason I rate it 6 is coz I wanted to continue the story lol, it was so much fun

Pretty good but way too short

Hopefully more chapters will come. It's from 2015 and now it is 2017. How much longer must we wait?

like it a lot.

this was a very well written piece that had a great descriptive element although the story felt a tad weak on the initial hook. perhaps were the intro was to be expanded to place the first section into a playable narrative it may improve this.

Great game, I loved it. It was a great story, and it was very enthralling. Great job.

Fun. Some grammar issues. The vernacular speech made one character in particular nearly impossible to understand - sometimes less I more. He's the Jar Jar of ur story.