Player Comments on Forgotten, then lost

I would say that this game is horrible, but it reminds me of my first game. When it was first published, it was linear, confusing, and the result of your "choices" were more or less random. This game could be made good if it had
-backstory
-more details
-and less random deaths
I would give this game a 3/8

This storygame has no significant redeeming qualities but it's not quite bad enough to be unpublished. There is no context to the storygame (aside from the short spiel in the storygame description) - why do these warlocks and wizards want to kill you?

This hardly qualifies as a CYOA story - it's entirely linear and the choices you give the reader merely serve as an illusion, as they all either force you down the single path you've included or lead to death. One link leads to an empty page which leads back to where the original link *should* have gone.

You have a poor grasp of grammar, and while I've certainly seen worse writing on the site, simple mistakes like writing "want's" (want is) instead of "wants", "lest" instead of "least", and leaving out commas is just not good enough.

On some pages you say the woman looks odd and you've never met her before, and on a different page you say she's the woman you've come to save. Unless the protagonist was given a very, very vague description of what to search for in the cave (there's no context to this story so I don't know this) then this is an inconsistency you'll need to fix.

Hate it when there's no backstory. Your writing is alright, nothing spectacular but no weakness either. Your imagination is somewhat average here, it takes real imagination to plan a story with an interesting backstory and multiple paths. Not terrible, but too short and too average.

"The Wizards and Warlocks found her before she'd awoken from her trip, and chained her to the wall you rescued her from. Had you not rescued her they would have forced her to call the spirits of her ansestors from her world, and make them destroy the world. So that they could claim it as their own and build a new world among it's ashes. You have done so much good for both worlds by freeing one person. Your name will surely go down in history for all time.
GOOD WORK! YOU'VE WON!"

Short, but I liked it. Good job! :)

GOOD WORK! YOU'VE WON!

I was sent to hospital for no reson

The story was fun but it lacked dept. There was almost no history, and the choices aren't all that redeeming

pretty fun game

6 because the ending is pritty cool. the only thing is I don't know is this the only ending? because it doesn't say if you've found that object you were looking for yet or you didn't

Just so damn linear, I couldn't be bothered. The author clearly had no intention of branching and merely forced the reader to follow the intended path. This barely qualifies as a CYOA.

Not bad. The story could use some work though. Would be good if it had more explanation of who you are and why you're there and stuff.

That was cool. I'd love a game that lets you play as the girl!

Not bad !

Boring

Okay.

it was sort of okay. if you make it longer with more details less cheesy endings you could have a really good storygame!

not the best but not the worst

s

Pretty enjoyable :)

It's good news I can't drown as a rock! Unfortunately, rocks are basically already dead. 3/8

"ansestors" is spelt ancestors. Bo approves

I hardly see the story in this or the adventure. Basically, all you needed to know about the story was exactly what was said in the description, plus one character.

ok. seen worst. but seen better too. 2/8

I tried to take his wand away and died brutally. Seems like you were learning the system and that's good. Hope to see a bit more depth in the next one.

I'd have to agree with Leon: I've seen much worse-- but I've also seen much, much better. Pages need more than just one or two sentences.

Eh, I have seen worse... much worse. On the other hand, I have also seen much better. There was very little explanation to the story. You described that we were going to a cave to do something, and then the game involved passing several choice trials. Choose the wrong choice and die sort of thing, no multi-paths. Then all of sudden the entire story is explained at the end. Not much thought, huh.

Rating= *** out of ********.

what i said before

I agree with JJJ. Your plot seems pretty generic and the story is too short. I recommend putting more effort into a detailed story and a longer game.

You have potential.

make the story longer and more creative with the choices